Rock Bottom (Sequel to How it Happened is Irrelevant)

14

Craig's POV:

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," TJ kept telling me over and over. I rubbed his back gently, trying to get him to stop. I know I shouldn't have snapped at him, but I couldn't help myself. How had he become so broken so quickly? How had I never known how bad this was? I was still also worried about Kevin and his food poisoning. If it was really as bad as Robert had said, TJ needs to pull himself together so I can focus on one problem at a time. 

But for now, I'm giving him priority. He's been through a lot, and he would only be more of an issue if I forced him to do anything. "'Twas a long time ago, longer now than it seems, in a place that perhaps you've seen in your dreams. For the story that you are about to be told, took place in the holiday worlds of old. Now, you've probably wondered where holidays come from. If you haven't, I'd say it's time you begun, " I told him.

"What? " He said. "The holi- oh. " I think he realized what I'd said. "I'm not a child, you don't need to tell me stories, " He grumbled. 

"At least you stopped crying," I told him, still running my hand against the fabric of his shirt in little circles. 

"I wasn't crying," He insisted. "I threw up, sometimes your eyes water when that happens." He closed his eyes. "Oh Lord, I really need those pills. Please let me take them," He pleaded, gripping the fabric on my shirt. 

"I won't let you fall. You told me not to let you," I told him. "I've gotta look out for you. You might hate me now, but I swear this is for your own good."

"Please," He whispered. His breathing had become really shallow, and now it had stopped completely. 

"Are you holding your-" Before I could finish my sentence, he passed out. "Breathe, TJ! Breathe!" I yelled at him. "BREATHE!!" I pushed on his chest, worried that he'd really killed himself. He took a deep inhale. "Christ, do not scare me like that!"

He looked at me, eyes sad and desperate. "Please. Please. Please. I really need them. Please."

"No you don't. But you do need to breathe. Do not fucking do that."

He closed his eyes, tears falling from them again. "I'm sorry. You don't understand what I'm going through."

"I have an idea," I mumbled. 

It took two hours of zero self-control on TJ's part for me to finally let him have one pill. I couldn't take the complaints anymore. Somehow though, I knew he'd be pissed at me for it later. How could he have let total dependency come so quick?

"How could you let me take this?!" He demanded, a few minutes after having done it. "I told you not to let me!"

"I know," I sighed. "But you've gotta put in some effort too, y'know."

"Fuck that!" He snapped. 

"Here go the mood swings again," I sighed.

TJ's POV:

"Here go the mood swings again," Craig sighed. What does he mean by that? How can I not be angry right now? He gave me exactly what I wanted, and it's going to destroy me! Does he want me dead, or in a hospital bed?

"Fuck you!" I said.

"Fuck me?" He asked, putting an appalled hand to his chest. "Fuck you! You were the moron who got strung out in the first place. You've burned through so much of that stuff in the last month and a half you may as well be dead!"

"You have experience with this stuff, you should know better!"

"You're nothing like Max ever was. He was relaxed or passed out all of the time, not threatening his own life." He turned to the door of the room. "And if you don't wanna see me, even in the way that you said you did, then I'm going to go make sure Kevin's okay. Do. Not. Follow. Me."

I nodded, surprised by his tone. What right did he have to be upset in this situation?

Well, let's reassess, shall we? We put him through three hours of misery just to get a drug that he ended up giving us anyways.... Instead of talking to him like a normal human being who just got back into a relationship, we had sex to tide us over. We've been nothing but a complete dick to him for the last month and a half. And tell me  again, who is the villain here? 

"It's me," I whispered. "It's always been me." And why should I even bother apologizing? I'm just gonna end up doing the same thing all over again. It's like clockwork. I headed for the bathroom, with the bottle of pills in my hand. I unscrewed the lid, looked inside, and closed my eyes as I flushed them all down the toilet. As soon as I'd done it, I wished that I hadn't. What I wanted to feel was relief, I'd finally let them go. Instead, I just kissed any chance of ever getting them again goodbye. The problems really do start and end with the drugs.