Rock Bottom (Sequel to How it Happened is Irrelevant)

4

TJ's POV:

When I woke up, I immediately reached into the small pocket for random items next to me and found the ring I was going to give to Craig. It physically hurt me to open the box and look at it, but it still felt nice to hold. My curtains were torn open in that moment, and Kevin stood there. He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my bunk, not saying a word. Too tired, hungover, and physically weak to fight, I complied. He took me to the back lounge, which smelled terribly of all of our sweaty stage clothes. I gagged. 

He held out his hand. "Give me the box," He ordered. My grip on it tightened as I raised an eyebrow at his odd suggestion. "Give me the box, TJ," He requested again. This time I turned it over to him. He opened it and his eyes grew wide. "Oh my God," He gasped. "How much-?"

"Two grand," I answered slowly. "The only thing I ever paid for."

"What?"

"I stole everything I ever bought for him. Everything. I paid through the nose for that," I pointed to the ring, "because I wanted to show him that he'd changed me. To show him how much I loved him."

Kevin returned the ring to its box and handed it to me. He looked at me for a moment. "You're not angry, you're depressed."

"Thanks Captain Obvious. I don't need everyone else knowing that." I stuffed the box into my pocket. When I pulled my hand out of my pocket, Kevin took it. We just stood there for a moment, and then....

....And then he kissed me. Kevin kissed me. He kissed me. Why would he kiss me? I didn't kiss back. I didn't close my eyes. He pulled away immediately. "I-I-I I'm sorry," He said quickly, stepping away from me. "I didn't- I'm sorry." He walked away from the scene and then bolted off of the bus. 

I didn't know what to do. So I called the only guy I knew who might know something about this kind of situation. The only guy I knew who was a true expert. 

"Hey, Ronnie. This is TJ," I said when he picked up. I was standing outside of the bus now so that no one else heard the call.

"What's up, man?" He asked, sounding tired but enthused. 

"I kinda have a bit of a relationship emergency. It's looking like an episode of Friends over here." I looked at the sky. 

"Why do you people always call me for relationship advice? Go talk to Max. I don't like the dude much of anything anymore, but he knows some shit about that kind of stuff."

"Can I at least tell you what happened?" I pleaded. 

He sighed a very long sigh. "Go ahead."

I took a deep breath and quickly explained what happened. "Well Craig broke up with me the day I was gonna propose so that fucking sucked, and I was pissed off but mostly just depressed about it. I couldn't tell anyone that I was sad because..... well I'd look like a bit of a pussy. So I drank and wrote and stayed locked away for a week, but I wasn't eating anything for a whole week either. Kevin was really worried about me and checking up on me all of the time, and I thought nothing of it at first. Then today he asked to see the ring I was gonna give Craig and then he kissed me. He kissed me. What does that even mean?"

"Well I'm sorry to hear about you and Craig. And about Thrasher: Sometimes people do things without meaning as a desperate attempt to make others feel better. He might've just kissed you because he thought it would cheer you up some. He probably really is worried about you. And if you have any more questions, then please ask Max. I'll tell him the story and you can go talk about it."

"Okay. Okay. " 

"TJ, " Ronnie said aggressively. "You need to breathe. You need to breathe. " 

"Okay. Okay. " I realized I'd been hyperventilating. 

"I'll turn this over to Max. Try to eat something in the meantime. " 

"Yeah, okay." I wasn't really going to eat anything at all. 

About an hour after I called Ronnie, I got a text from a number I hadn't seen in a very long time. 

Unknown: I heard what happened

Unknown: I'm so sorry

Unknown: Meet me @ the starbucks in 1 hr

Unknown: Ik where u r

I was relieved that Max actually had been contacted, but I felt like I was blowing this way out of proportion. Thrasher wasn't talking to me. Robert wasn't either, but that was normal. Craig was pissing me off just standing there, so I couldn't talk to him. 

I responded to the pang of hunger eating me alive by drinking and taking one of those pills that the lady at the bar had given me. I wondered how long this could go on before I died. I mean, people starve themselves all of the time. I guess then it's for a different reason, though. I stumbled around the bus, feeling like a zombie. 

"You look awful," Craig noted, looking up at me. 

"But you always said I was so hot," I complained. "Why tell me now that I'm not?"

"Because now you're a drunken asshole who never eats anything and yells at everyone all of the time. I thought you told me you had alcohol poisoning."

"Well I was wrong then," I snapped. "What do you care anyways?" I looked away from him, mumbling, "You'd probably rather I die in ditch anyways. Shoot myself between the eyes with an empty bottle in my hand." I made a gun gesture and put it against the center my forehead, mimicking pulling the trigger.

Craig stood up, raised his arm, and hit me across the face. "Will you shut the fuck up?! My God, why would you ever even say something like that?"

I'll admit it, I was pretty impressed. I shrugged instead, not wanting to acknowledge the gravity of the situation at hand. "I'm not suicidal." I grabbed his hand and pleaded, "Don't send me away, please! I'll be good!"

He looked at me strangely. "What's the matter with you? Why are you acting like this?" He pulled his hands out of my grip, leaving me with an empty, sinking feeling.

"I love you!" I blurted. "Take me back, I'll be better. I don't know what I did wrong, but I'll fix it!"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Listen, I don't know what you're trying to do, but you're-" He looked into my eyes for a moment. "You're crazy. You're scaring me."

I was scaring me, too.