i wish.... (byler)

-05-

TW: Self harm

Will's pov:

Why? Why do I have to be gay? Why do I have to love Mike? I wish he loved me. I wish he would kiss me like he kisses Eleven. I wish he would look at me like he looks at Eleven. I wish he would hold my hand the way he holds Eleven's. I wish he would love me the way he loved Eleven. I wish I was Eleven.

No one's pov:

Will got up off of his floor and walked to his bathroom. He rolled up his sleeve to reveal multiple cuts up his arm, he had made them when he was sad or mad, which was often. He got his razor and 1 cut, 2 cuts, 3 cuts, 4 cuts, 5 cuts. He stopped and watched the blood drip down his arm. 6 cuts, 7 cuts, 8 cuts, 9 cuts, and finally 10 cuts. His arm was full and there was no room for more, but he has other body parts. Mike was still biking as fast as he could but it was raining, hard. Mike was crying like he never had before, of course him and will had had fights, but none as bad as this. As soon as Mike got there he did'nt even bother knocking he just ran to Will's room.

Mike's pov:

I finally got to the Byers' after biking in the pouring rain for what felt like for ever. I didn't knock and ran stright to Will's room, Nancy followed me. What if he did something bad, what if he killed himself, it would all me my fault, all because couldn't tell him love him. I wish i could go back in time and take back those things I said. I wish I could kiss him like I kiss Eleven. I wish I made him feel loved all of those times he was sad. I wish I was there for him more. I finally made it to his room but he wasn't in there. My heart sank, where was he?

Nancy's pov:

I could hear Mike sobbing from my car, I knew he was hurting. But our dad can never find out that he's gay, he'd kill Mike. I was worried about Will too, Mike didn't know this but Will came to me when he started cutting himself, he came to me when he wanted to kill himself, he came to me a lot. I don't know why but I feel guilty not telling Mike about those things but i can't worry him more. We got to the Byers' house and I slamed the car door. We walked up stairs and as soon as I didn't see Will in his room I knew where he was. I was terrified.

No one's pov:

Mike felt like falling to the ground, he almost did but he needed to find Will. Nancy went straight to the bathroom where she found Will sitting, crying, and had blood dripping down him. Mike followed her, he was confused about why she knew exactly where he was but the wasn't important. "Will?" Mike ran to Will as soon as he saw him "It's my fault, it's all my fault." Mike said crying and going to hug Will. "Is he alive Nance?" Mike asked in a shaky voice. "Yeah but back away and let me clean him up." Nancy picked up Will and put him in the sink. He was small so he fit nicely. Nancy pushed Mike out of the bathroom. "No! No I'm not leaving him, I love him and I want to be here, I've let him down so much just let me stay." Mike snapped and sat down on the toilet. Nancy didn't repsond she just cleaned the cuts on Will's arm.

Mike's pov:

I hope he's okay, he's still not awake but he's breathing so thats good I guess. Some of those cuts didn't look new, some were scabbing, others were turning into scars. Why didn'y he tell me? I'm his bestfreind. Maybe if I wasn't such a dick to him all the time he would trust me more. Why did Nancy know what to do immideatly? Did she know? Why wouldn't she tell me? "I-is he okay n-nance?" I aked nervously. "Yeah, he's all cleaned up but he needs to rest." She says picking him up and putting him on his bed.

a/n: i know this chapter is really crappy lol but whatever. Also my dog is terrified of thunder and its storming rn so he wont leave me lol. no one even reads my book heheheheheheheheheh but its fun writing it so yeah. i lowkey dont even know where this is going but we'll see.