You're not so bad ~ (merdisson)

Chapter 11: For now or forever

( so i know theres been barely any Merdisson in the past chapters but im trying to build it up. There'll be hot stuff again soon . And guys me and my friend have a wattpad account called @frankandcaz where we have a titans fan fic. So if you like titans go check it out. Enjoy and I'm glad y'all liked the plot twist, picture made by me btw 😏)

Dereks POV:

I had been in surgery all night leaving me no time to visit Addison. This pained me slightly knowing that she would wake up alone and attached to machines buzzing annoyingly beside her. However despite how much i wanted to feel differently all I could think was where Meredith was. I hadn't seen her since yesterday when we waited outside the O.R.

"Derek" a concerned voice called from the End of the corridor.
"Amy" i startled walking over to my youngest sister.
"How is she" was the first thing she asked flashing sympathetic eyes towards me.
"Shes ok, just resting" i answered giving her a brief hug of welcome. Not that I wasn't happy to see her it had just been so long and with her behaviour and all the things she had suffered through i had no idea how to act around her or what to say.
"So how are you feeling" I asked hesitantly ; removing my ferry boat scrub cap from my head. Meredith always loved that scrub cap.

"I'm good. I've been to Rehab and stepped back into Neuro" Amelia exclaimed her eyes bright with wonder and excitement.
Id missed that. After the drugs and the death of her boyfriend Amelia fell into a really dark place. I'd practically raised her since out father died when she was the tender age of four. Shot and robbed in-front of our bare eyes. It had been difficult but i like to hope I'd done right by her. Maybe not.. but at least she was feeling better now. Still i had my twinges of doubt. I knew what her wild spirit was like.

"Anyways I'm gonna go find Addie and say hi its been so long. I've missed her fiery personality" Amelia exclaimed scurrying off to the ICU.

Addisons POV:

My hear leapt from my chest. Ripping through my ribs and muscle into a puddle on the floor. "No i am not" i screamed throwing the useless piece of plastic at the wall. "Please no" i sobbed uncontrollably.

'Knock'

"Go away" i yelled "I'm busy"
"Addie its me. Amelia" a caring voice called from behind the door.

Crap. I thought. I hadn't seen her in ages. She was a dear friend of mine but turning up here unannounced was not what i needed.
Strangely tho i felt my fingers clasp the handle and unlock it. I think part of me wanted someone to cry to and hold me while i shriek in a ball on the floor.

The door pushed open and she stood there. Tall and pretty in her iconic leather jacket. "Hey stranger... oh my god Addie are you ok. Is it the surgery" i cut her off.
"Stop Amelia. No it's not its this" i pointed over to the shitty white stick of horror lying depressingly on the cold marble floor.
She bent down and picked it up as i pushed the door tightly shut locking It again.
"Addie" she whispered sadly.
"Yeah i know" i whimpered; tears streamed down my cheek staining them with sadness.
She knelt beside me and stroked my tangled red hair out of my watery eyed face.

Amelia had always been my favourite of Dereks sisters. She had her flaws sure but she was real and kind and super fun to get drunk with but thats not the point.
I felt my stomach turn inside me causing me to puke again into the toilet. Her reflexes were fast and agile as her fingers pulled back my fiery hair keeping it from falling into my mouth.
After i was done throwing my guts up i relaxed and once again wailed into my hands. "I can't do this Amelia" i sobbed " I've always wanted a baby and i know that this is probably my last chance to have one but its so complicated"
"Is it Dereks?" She inquired giving me a puzzled look.
"Yes of course but thats not it" my mouth was dry and cracked from the saltiness of my tears. I rubbed my eyes with my bony fists trying to remove the stain of exhaustion that sat permanently beneath my eye lids.
"Is there someone else?"
I looked up in shame but also in love. In absolute utter love with...