Let's Play

You Won

Jessika

I ran out of the bar and called Charles. I needed to get to Damien and I needed to get there fast. I told Charles I was on my way to the office on foot and to meet me on my way there. As usual, Charles was somehow there in minutes and we were at Hart Management not long after.

I'm not sure what part of me said to check the office first. I had come here today specifically because Damien tended not to be at the office on Sundays. So why check to see if he was here now? All I knew was that I was trusting my gut on this one. A gut that was full of tequila right now but trusting my gut nonetheless.

The elevator opened on the 39th floor and I was a little disheartened to see that Damien wasn't in his office. I decided to head up to the rooftop to see if maybe he was up there for the lunch hour. My cheeks flushed remembering what happened between us the first and last time we were on the rooftop together. It's where everything started between us. It's where this stupid "game" started even though I wasn't sure if I was playing anymore.

My heart was pounding, and as the doors opened to the rooftop all thoughts in my mind scattered. Because there he was, standing on the rooftop with his back towards me overlooking Seattle. It was a bit windy this high up and as I stepped out of the elevator, I had to rub my arms to rid myself of goosebumps.

I stood behind him, not even 6 feet away, and I was frozen. This felt like my first day all over again. I had no idea what to say to him. I didn't even think about what I was going to say on my way here, only that I needed to find him. So I just stood there, my mouth opening but no words escaping my lips.

"Are you just going to stand there Ms. Blake?" Damien asked, not even glancing towards my direction.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked. I silently cursed at myself. Of all the things I could say, that was what I chose?

"What do you want?" Damien asked. The cold tone in his voice made me increasingly nervous as I shifted on my feet back and forth.

"I came to apologize, I-" Damien laughed, interrupting me.

"You came to apologize?" He turned around and looked at me for the first time, and the hardness in his eyes instantly scared me. This isn't the Damien I was used to. "Do you even know what you're apologizing for?"

I looked down at my feet, unable to look at his cold stare any longer. How do I tell him that his best friend revealed everything to me? Maybe I don't. Maybe I just tell him I know without revealing my source. "I know everything Damien. I know about Elijah and how you lost everything. I know I screwed up his room. I screw everything up. I'm sorry."

Damien stormed over to me until we were mere inches apart and I could feel the heat radiating off of his body. "Don't say my sons name like you knew him. You don't know anything about what I've been through. I don't even want to know how you got that fucking information." he said through his teeth. He was more than angry right now. He was pissed. He turned back around and walked towards the edge of the roof, his tense form leaning against the railing.

I walked forward and stood next to him on the railing while still maintaining my distance. I stood there silently, not quite knowing what to say. The more he acted like he hated me, the worse I felt. I couldn't stand to be around a Damien who no longer cared about me.

"No, I don't know what you've been through and I'm not trying to act like I do. What I do know is that you were there for me when I told you about my past and I would like to be there for you now. If you'd let me."

"I don't need help" Damien said sharply.

Tears came to my eyes as I realized what this meant. He didn't need me. He didn't want me. Any hopes at fixing this was gone. I fucked everything up.

I took a deep breath as I made a decision. A decision that would change everything.

"I'm sorry I can't be of assistance to you Mr. Hart. You can expect my resignation on your desk within the hour."

"Don't be ridiculous-" he started but I held up my hand to stop him.

Tears ran down my face as I said my next words. "You won, Damien. I fell in love with you. No pain is worse than when the one you love hates you. I can't take any more pain. Besides" I said, wiping the tear from my eyes, "This was the terms of our agreement."

Damien looked stunned as I finished. His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open. He didn't know what to say and frankly, I didn't want him to say anything. I wouldn't be able to handle it if he dug the knife any deeper.

I walked towards him and placed my hand on the side of his face. When he didn't stop me, I leaned forward and placed a small kiss on his cheek. "Goodbye Damien." I said softly before walking away. I didn't look back. Not once. I even kept my back turned as I stepped in the elevator.

Once I got to the 39th floor, I typed up my letter of resignation quickly and placed it on Damien's desk. I honestly didn't care the quality of it, I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

I didn't leave any personal things at my desk, so I didn't have to worry about carrying anything out of here. That would be one embarrassing walk of shame. Instead, I left the work phone and badge on the desk, logged out of everything, and walked out for the last time.

Charles was already waiting for me when I exited the building. Since I was no longer employed by Damien, I assumed these rides with Charles would be no more. I would miss him like crazy. He had listened to all of my gossip and was always there to pick me up off the side of the street. Literally.

"Looks like this will be our last ride together, Charles" I said through tears.

"What are you talking about, Ms. Blake?" he asked, making eye contact with me through the rearview mirror.

"I quit." I said.

"Why on earth would you quit? You love it here!"

"You know what they say, Charles. If you love them, let them go."

"I believe that saying applies to people, Ms. Blake."

"Yep." I said, staring out the window.

Charles staid quiet for a few moments before responding. "Well until I hear word from Mr. Hart, you can still count on me for anything, Ms. Blake".

I smiled softly. "Thank you, Charles."

"Where to now, Ms. Blake?'"

I thought it over for a moment. "I think it's time I visit my mom," I said.