Let's Play

Now or Never

Damien

"I fell in love with you"... that's all that I could hear. Those lips mouthing the word "love"... that's all I could see. All my anger towards her faded and my thoughts scattered into oblivion.

Many women have told me they loved me. Normally hearing these words amused me. Just another women confessing their "love" as if they even knew what it was. But this time it was different. This time it was real. This time I wasn't feeling amused... I was scared.

I stood there in a stunned silence, unable to move as she whispered something I could not comprehend, her lips leaving a lasting impression on my cheek. Even then, as I let her walk away, my thoughts were one big fucked up mess.

I thought about the last time someone I truly cared about said they loved me. The last time the love was real was with Darla, but as I've come to learn, that must not have been real either. So then that left Elijah. My son that I still love so much but I can no longer see. That love was taken from me. So who the hell decided I was deserving of Jessika's love, too?

But Jessika loving me isn't the only scary part. No, what's scarier than that is that I love her, too. My love feels like a curse. What if something happens to Jess because of me? I don't know if I'll survive losing her, too. I've just gone through too much.

The endless negative "what-ifs" started playing in my head as I leaned against the railing on that Seattle rooftop. Eventually it started to rain which finally snapped me out of it. I was able to walk over to the elevator and head back down to my office. But just because I was able to move doesn't mean the thoughts going through my head made sense yet.

I stepped off the elevator to see Will leaning back in Jessika's chair, feet kicked up on the table. Normal Damien would have seen how pissed Will was, but I couldn't make sense of anything right now.

I was about to walk past Will and into my office when I felt something hit my foot. I looked down to see a badge with Jessika's name. I reached down to pick it up, and the fear struck me all over again as I realized what this meant. She was really gone.

"Don't forget this too."

I looked over at Will who waved Jessika's work phone in his hand for a moment before slamming it down on the desk.

"Oh, and let's not forget that sloppy letter of resignation she left on your desk. Now that was the icing on the cake" Will said, laughing bitterly.

I slowly walked into my office and stared at the letter that was typed up on my desk. It was clearly written in a rush, as if she really wanted to get out of here. My hand shook as I picked up the letter and read the words over and over again.

I sat down and read the letter until the regret really sunk in. I was horrible to her. I let my anger get the best of me and I hurt her, bad.

"Did you really have to fire her?" Will said, storming into my office. "What the hell man? That's low, even for you"

"I didn't fire her" I said quietly.

"Then what the hell happened?"

"Will, please-"

"No!" Will yelled, walking quickly across the room to my desk. He leaned on it with one hand, the other hand pointing at my face. "I am DONE watching you slowly kill yourself. You have been fucking around with lord knows who and who knows what for years and I let you because I can't imagine what it feels like to go through what you have. And then Jessika comes along and I see you starting to get better. You start smiling more. So whatever you did, you need to fix it."

"You don't know anything about what happened, Will" I growled, the anger from earlier starting to build up in my chest again.

"But I do! She told me everything. She was fucking heartbroken and you didn't give her any type of explanation. So I told her about Elijah and Darla, and she ran here to fix it. She cared that much, Damien."

"What gives you the fucking right to tell people about my son" I said slowly standing and leaning over so that I was eye level with Will, our faces inches apart.

"Thats not the fucking point. The point is that you love Jessika, and you let her leave. You couldn't have done anything to stop Darla from leaving, but you could have stopped Jessika and you didn't."

I couldn't stop the feeling of rage that coursed through my veins like fire. I saw nothing but red as I screamed, knocking everything from my desk. I started punching whatever I could see, and a part of me was glad to see Will backing away and out of my line of fire. I punched everything until the adrenalin passed and my body collapsed in the sofa off to the side of the room.

I sat there panting, my bloody knuckles clutched against my chest as they throbbed in pain. Will's back was turned to me, staring out the window when he finally spoke.

"I told Jessika about Elijah because I knew this time was different. Not a single woman, other than Mrs. Williams, has been in that house since Darla left. As soon as she told me you brought her there, everything changed." Will turned around to face me, his eyes holding nothing but concern for me. "Do you really love her?" He asked.

I nodded my head slowly. There was no point in denying it now.

"Then go get her. Fix this before it's too late. You can't deny yourself happiness because you're scared to lose it. Your happiness is already gone and it left with Jessika. So go get her. I can't watch you suffer anymore."

Will was right. He normally was. I didnt say anything further as I walked over to my desk. Everything was all over the floor, but I found a pair of car keys among the mess fairly quickly and I left.

I took the elevator down to the parking garage and found the car that I kept there. Normally I have Henry take me everywhere but I couldn't wait for him to come. I might not have time left anyway.

I sped quickly out of the garage and reached into my pocket, pulling out my cellphone. I dialed her driver Charles. When I first hired him, I told him to keep tabs on her at all times to make sure she was safe. He would definitely know where she was.

After only one ring, Charles answered. "Yes, Mr. Hart?"

"Where's Jessika?"

"Why, is everything alright, sir?"

"Please, just tell me where she's at."

"Shes at her parents house, sir. Sending you the location now."

A few seconds later my phone chimed with the location and I pulled it up in the car's GPS. It was only a 20 minute drive, but even that seemed like too long. With the way I drive I could cut that in half anyway.

I sped through traffic in the pouring down rain. All I could think about was Jessika, and I didn't care if any cops saw me. I only had one goal right now.

The closer I got, the more panicked I became. What if I was too late? What if she didn't want to see me?

Finally, I pulled up outside of the house. I couldn't tell if I was hyperventilating or if I was just breathing hard. But I got out of the car and forced myself to walk up the driveway. I was soaked in seconds and my legs felt shaky. Its a wonder I even made it to the door.

I knocked on the door frantically and leaned against the door frame to help hold myself up. Jessika's mom answered shortly and a smile broke out on her face as she realized who I was. "Now speak of the damn devil!" She shouted.

Time seemed to pass by even more slowly as my eyes locked on to Jessika's.

This was it. Now or never...