Fireworks

41

Arlo calls me before I can call him.

I've just stepped out of the shower when my phone starts buzzing, my music cutting off.

I hurry to answer it, wrapping a towel around my body and heading back towards my new room... my new room. So weird.

"Hello?" I answer, unsure of how this conversation is going to go.

Arlo's voice is warm and sarcastic when he says, "Well, you're not here and it's almost midnight, so I'm assuming you won't be coming over."

I mock-whisper, "I'm actually outside of your apartment now, didn't you know?"

"Ha-ha," he deadpans. "So how did it go? Get any answers?"

I try to withhold my sigh.

In all honesty, it had actually gone pretty well. Dad had gotten me veggie lo mein and we sat in his nicely furnished living room while he calmly and apologetically explained some stuff to me. Apparently, the plan is for me to stay here indefinitely. Mom was pissed at Dad, but said she'd rather me stay here for now anyways. Dad had spent a long time emphasizing that her actions were no reflection of my character or how good of a daughter I've been, which was sweet but equally disappointing that he had to do it in the first place. Overall, I'm a little confused and upset and embarrassed, but I'm okay at the same time. Dad is doing well, and he seemed to not mind having me here.

"It was alright. I'm staying with my dad now," I say simply.

He must sense that I'm pretty tired of talking about it, so he says, "That's good." and that's all. We're silent for a second, and I can't tell if he feels awkward or not, so I search for something to say.

Before I can, he says, "Gabe won't shut up about you after this morning."

I groan. "I feel so dumb. I bet Hoffman hates me." I mean to keep that last part inside my head, but oh well.

"No one hates you, I think they're just confused," he admits. "I've never really... I don't know. We don't really have girls in our group very often, especially not because of me. They're trying to figure us out."

"They aren't the only ones," I say before I can stop it. Wow, my mouth will just not shut tonight, huh?

Arlo laughs, though, and says, "About that, we should probably talk."

I hold the phone away from my mouth and give a silent scream before bringing it to my face again. "If you want," I say as pleasantly as possible.

"So," he starts, seeming just as lost as me. He stops there. He lets out a grunt of some kind and says, "Hold on."

Then the line goes dead.

I blink in confusion, looking down at my screen. My phone isn't dead... did he just hang up on me?

Before I can figure out what the heck just happened, his name appears on my screen again, but this time he's face timing me.

I curse and hurriedly grab a shirt. I manage to change without strangling myself and run a brush through my hair a couple of times, no doubt tearing my scalp, and then answer the call.

When his face appears on my screen, I frown. "What's this for?"

Having his smile on my phone is pretty nice, I decide while he says, "It'll be easier to talk about this if I can see you. You make a face when you start to overthink things and I want to prevent that as much as possible."

I choke on a laugh and say, "I don't make a face."

He levels me with a look, and I just shut up, rolling my eyes.

"Okay," he starts, blowing out a breath. "I feel like I may have scared you off a little this morning, and I'm sorry. I just... I don't know if you can tell, but I'm pretty into you, and I don't want to mess this up, you know?"

I do know exactly how that feels. I nod.

He continues, "I want to be transparent with you about this because I can tell that you're a really good girl, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. I've never been in a serious relationship before, and if we do this, that's kind of what I would want us to be. Serious, I mean." It could just be the lighting or the angle, but it seems like he's embarrassed to say the words. "I'm a private person, and I really don't have that much free time. I know you don't either, with your senior year coming up and your parents and all. As soon as the fireworks stand closes, I'm going back to work at my construction job and then working in the mechanic shop on the weekends until I have to leave for college. And then I'll be at Princeton for the next four years."

Yeah... that's kind of a problem.

I've also never really been in a real relationship before. I've gone on dates and had stupid crushes before, but nothing meaningful. Everything he's saying is true. Neither of us really know what we're doing, and considering his circumstances with work and school... it's not looking too good.

We're both quiet for a second and I say, "I get it. In a few months, we'll both be in school and across the country from one another. I don't expect anything of you."

He flinches almost imperceptibly, and after a small moment of silence, he says, "Well... if I'm being honest I like you a little bit more than what I said. I almost like you enough to make the insane suggestion that we try anyway."

I feel both my hopes and my eyebrows raise, and I say, "Try-try a relationship?"

He nods slowly. "I know it makes zero sense, but would it be miserable for you if we at least spent the summer getting to know each other with the little time we can find? We don't have to, but this morning you said you liked me too, and for the first time in a long time it made me feel something. I don't want to lose that because of something stupid like distance or time."

Wow. Wow, okay.

I try not to let my rush of emotions and endorphins cloud my judgment. Is this smart? Do I really want to do this?

While I stare at his face on my phone, my brain keeps replaying the way his fingers skimmed my temple while he brushed my hair back earlier tonight, and the way his calluses felt against my own hand while we sat together listening to stories. It all felt so easy in that moment.

"Can I make the insane decision to support your suggestion that we try?" I whisper

A huge grin breaks out on his face, and I'm unable to fight my own smile off. He laughs and asks, "We're insane, aren't we?"

"I don't mind insanity if it normally feels like this." I shrug, resisting the urge to screenshot the moment and keep it forever.

We talk for a while after that, trying to act like composed adults even though we're screaming on the inside. What will we tell our friends? (We're just spending more time with each other, no big deal.) What should we call each other? (Just the other's name in front of people, whatever we want when we're alone.) Should we have limits on how much time we spend with each other? (No, might as well make it last while we can.) Should we have a mandatory amount of time we spend with each other each week, even if it's just phone calls? (No, let things come naturally.)

On and on we talk, and eventually, it's too late and I'm too tired to keep going. We're both working early tomorrow, so we say goodnight and hang up around 2:00 in the morning.

It's easy to fall asleep that night.