Fireworks

44

"Do you have a minute?"

I pause the painting roller's movement to look over my shoulder at Montserrat.

She's standing a few feet away in her paint-splattered shirt and shorts. She somehow still makes the ensemble glamorous with a full face of makeup and flawless hair.

"Sure, Monse," I reply warily, putting the roller down.

Today is the three-week anniversary of my and Arlo's 'relationship', and we'd had cookies today at lunch to celebrate. Ever since the first day with our kiss, I'd kept coming to his job sites to have lunch with him. It was the highlight of my day, sitting in the cab of his truck with him as he talks about his job and how he can't wait to become an engineer so he can contract and design jobs like this but in a more environmentally friendly way. He never complains that the food I pack is all vegetarian, and always thanks me both verbally and in other ways. Let's just say my kiss count has gone from 1 to 14 and it's only been ten days.

It's around 7:00, and a bunch of us are trying to finish painting the media center before we leave today so it can dry overnight.

"Let's go out here," she suggests, leading me towards a lounge area outside the media center.

I'm extremely nervous about whatever this is. Monse hadn't given me many problems ever since we had stopped working at the fireworks stand. Even then, she'd been tolerable for the last week or so of work, almost like she was going out of her way to ignore me. I definitely wasn't complaining.

She plops on a chair and I follow her lead. "So, um, what's up?"

She sighs and says, "I know you're probably really weirded out right now, this shouldn't take long."

I nod, and when I don't say anything she sighs again, looking away. At the ground, out the window, anywhere but me.

"I've been a bitch to you," she states simply.

I open my mouth to protest, but she interrupts before I can say anything. "Don't bother trying to defend me, we both know I've been terrible. I acted like a child all summer, and I need to apologize."

Oh. Wow. That's so... admirable of her.  Decent, at the least.  I stay silent, letting her unleash what she's clearly been thinking about for a while now.

"I know we didn't really know each other before you started working at the tent, but I knew about you. I already disliked you. You and your brother were the life of every party. You're friends with everyone, or you were at least, and you're so... likable. You're at the top of our class, student council president, always winning music awards and everything. Your parents are rich, you're pretty without realizing it, and you don't even have to do anything to be everyone's favorite." she pauses, looking at me now.

"I was jealous of you. And then you got a job at the tent, which was supposed to be my thing. I've been working there since my freshman year, and it's the one place I ever felt useful. I could help pay bills for my family, I was good at dealing with customers, all my friends were there... The guy I liked was there."

I gulp.

"The day you came to the cookout to play trivia, from the moment Arlo sat in that chair between us, I knew I had no chance. I was so angry every time I saw you together. Especially after that party. You didn't see it, but when that drunk girl came and ripped into you, he was ready to murder her for you. I think he was waiting to see how you'd handle it, but I'm pretty sure he was only sitting there because I was holding his arm."

I had no clue. I wonder what else I hadn't noticed this summer.

She lets out a long breath. "I hated the way that everyone was always so concerned about you, as bitchy as it was. Harriet likes you better and you've only been here one summer. I could hear the guys talking about you when they thought no one was listening. You have everything I want, and I hated you for it." she admits.

She glares at me and says, "You couldn't even make it easy for me to hate you, either. That's the worst part. Maybe I wouldn't have been so angry if you weren't actually so smart or nice or good-looking. When I confronted Arlo a few weeks ago, the night before the start of Hell Week, I told him that I've had feelings for him since my first summer working at the tent." she says, mouth twisting downwards. "Do you have any idea how much courage that took?"

The night before Hell Week? That was the night that Arlo and I initially agreed to give a relationship a shot...

My heartbeat quickens, I latch onto her every word.

"When he let me down, I got mad and asked if it was because of you. He told me that you'd defended me. He's obviously a man of few words, but he said that you told him to give me a chance." She looks me dead in the eyes. "I hated you even more than I ever had before. Because even the girl he was in love with told him that I was a better option, and I still wasn't enough."

Her eyes hold a pain I can't help but feel responsible for, even though I had no reason to feel this way. I decide to take a chance and hesitantly put my hand on top of hers in silent encouragement to keep going. She seems startled, but doesn't pull away. A small, sad smile creeps onto her face.

"I just wanted to apologize, I guess. I didn't realize how awful I'd been to you until a couple nights ago while we were leaving the library and I saw his truck in the parking lot. I watched when you got in. You kissed, and when you pulled away he looked at you like... like you were a star and he'd been living in darkness for forever." she whispers. "I realized that I deserved that kind of love, too. And you, of all people, shouldn't have been put off from being with someone that likes you that much. I'm sorry if I got in the way of your relationship starting sooner."

I shake my head and do my best to be reassuring. "No, Monse. Not at all. We were both taking things really slow, we still are, and only recently decided to get to know each other better." I say truthfully. "I appreciate your apology. You're definitely forgiven." I add. She smiles a little gratefully, but before she can say anything, I say, "And just so you know, this summer has been really hard for me. I guess it looks like I have it together on the outside, but there were definitely days I felt... bad." I think back on all the days I'd barely spoken a word if I didn't go to work. "I was supposed to spend this summer with Colton before he left for college. My parents took his death really hard, and I'm pretty sure they're separating. I know I have insane privilege, and maybe it seems like everything comes easy from the outside looking in, but I promise I'm ugly on the inside sometimes, too. Don't beat yourself up over it."

She nods and squeezes my hand a little. "Thanks for being so understanding. And for telling me all of that. I'm kind of trying to become a better person and all, so. I think that really helps put things in perspective for me."

We smile and both stand a little awkwardly. I start to walk back to the media center, but she stays in the lounge. Right as I'm about to go through the doors, she says, "Hey Hadlee?"

I look back expectantly.

Monse looks surprisingly serious when she says, "I know all about disappointing relationships. Don't let anyone get hurt at the end of this summer, yeah? Including yourself."

I feel myself frown, but nod before wordlessly slipping back into the media center.

What the hell did she mean? Get hurt? No one was getting hurt. Right?

I shake it off for now and go back to painting until I'm allowed to leave and go back to Arlo's place to surprise him with the anniversary gift I'd found.

So much for tonight being simple.