Fireworks

54

It's been a full 48 hours since Arlo implied he regretted ever getting to know me, and neither one of us has reached out.

Part of me is glad. We're moving on. This will make it so much easier to never see him again, leaving it this way. All of my reasons were valid, and I'm getting what I asked for.

Another part of me hates myself. Are you happy? Is this what you wanted? To be just as sad and alone and pathetic as you were at the beginning of the summer? You destroyed the only good thing in your life, and you lost the only person to ever understand and love you.

That part of me never shuts up.

The largest part of my consciousness, though, spends its time missing Arlo.

On the 30th, everyone that worked at the stand this summer was supposed to go back to the field and tear down the tent together, but a summer storm rolls in and Harriet sends out a group text saying we could do it next week.

I go to the trailer anyways to visit her.

When I pulled up, the thunder clouds were just starting to roll over the field, a crazy wind whipping the grass and trees around. The tent is drooping and flapping in the wind, and the entire place is deserted. A drastic change from the beginning of this month when it was packed for the fourth of July.

Harriet and I sit in the trailer listening to the storm. Mom and Dad are out at Walmart, I guess, so we just sit together. It's nice. She's still disorganized and hectic, but it's a lot calmer now that she isn't running a business.

"I'm moving in with Liam." she blurts after a while.

I laugh, some semblance of happiness spreading through me for the first time in days. "Fire-boy Liam? The one whose bones you would never jump?"

She snorts and says, "Yeah, same guy. We're kind of... together?"

I nod encouragingly and say, "That's great, Harriet. I'm happy for you."

She flops on the bench across from me and says, "Thanks. I took what you said to heart, you know. 'Can't find peace by avoiding life' and all that. I kind of realized that that's exactly what I was doing, running around everywhere all year doing odd jobs and then living out of a camper with my parents in the summer. What kind of life is that?" her mouth quirks wistfully. "Every summer I've come here, Liam's begged me to stay with him," she admits softly. "It's not even like we've hooked up or anything, he just... likes me, I guess." It seems unfathomable to her. "I never realized how much I'd been suppressing my feelings for him until this year. I like him too. He asked me to move in with him this month."

"Wow," I whisper. "That's huge. And you said yes?"

She nods. "Yeah, I said yes. I'm a damn 34-year-old woman that's been harboring a freaking middle school crush on this guy for years, now, and... Liam's a good man. He wants a domestic life. One with kids and a golden retriever and a house full of love and patience." she says.

That doesn't seem very Harriet's style. "You want the same things?" I prompt.

She scoffs. "No, not at all." I feel myself smile. "In fact, I'm fully anticipating to break up with him at least four times and run away to South Carolina once before I come to terms with the fact that he actually wants me and wants what's best for me."

I laugh too, and shake my head. "If you don't want to be tied down, don't feel obligated to accept the offer just because of the fact that you're 34 and have an uncommon lifestyle. Be free more, if you need it. You've been through a lot."

She sighs and fiddles with a thread coming off the upholstered bench. "Yeah... The thing is, though, I kind of want to be tied down to him, if that makes any sense?" she scrunches her nose. "It may not end up working out and I'll be living in a van again soon, but Liam is different. He grounds me. I've known him for so long, and even though the majority of the year I'm away from him, he's always here waiting for me. It's not like he's bad-looking, I'm sure he could have whoever he wants. But he likes me. And if I like him, and he likes me, and we both want to be together, then what's stopping us?"