A War On Her World | TWD: D. Dixon

Ch. 32

"Look, Merle's stayin' here,'' Daryl informed everyone tersely, not leaving any room for objections. "He's with us now. Get used to it."

The minute the man made his point, he stomped up the stairs, completely ending the conversation. I didn't know entirely what transpired between Merle and the others, so I felt I had no right to have an opinion on whether he was to stay or not, but I liked to think the group cherished Daryl's contributions enough to respect his wants and move past the issue at hand.

From where I sat, situated up against the wall, facing the cells on the small platform extending from the stairs, I heard everything that had been said below- from them talking about clearing the field to the lack of resources, and lastly, to the displeasure they felt with having Merle stay. It was clear as to why Daryl sounded so visibly frustrated.

As he made it to the second floor, he only briefly glanced at me in passing. During the quick look, we made eye contact for the first time since our kiss. I wanted to say something or talk to him just to know where we stood after what occurred between us. I wanted to know if I made a mistake by testing our boundaries, but he just kept walking without knowing the thoughts cluttering my mind, disappearing into a cell he recently claimed as his own.

The only semi-comforting fact of the matter was that his cell was neighbouring mine. It had to mean something, surely he wouldn't move next door to someone who made you uncomfortable.

I remained seated as I contemplated the best choice of action. I thought about following the man to check on him- to check on us, but I thought otherwise as I figured from the way the conversation ended, he wanted to be alone. I didn't want to push him any further past his limits than I already had by kissing him- who knew how he'd react. Even still, I believed he needed to know someone was on his side.

Since our moment on my bed, we hadn't really spoken. At first, I thought it was his way of rejecting me, however, after a while I realised it wasn't. I remembered he was never one to show emotions that made him 'weak', and it was clear, until now, Daryl never had so many people care about him. The fact that he didn't push me away the second my lips touched his or yell at me for not knowing my place told me he wasn't angry. Thinking of it that way was all the answer I needed for now.

Focusing back down on the now hushed voices of my fellow group members, I heard Glenn suggest handing Merle over to the governor to use as a 'bargaining chip'. I could certainly see where he was coming from, but it disgusted me to know he was trying to go behind Daryl's back like that. Did his feelings not mean more to them than a bit of bad blood?

Rick refused, of course, though, not for such a noble reason as accepting the man as one of our own. The only one who was being rational was Hershel who pointed out the advantages of keeping Merle around rather than tossing him back out for the governor to collect. In saying that, while what the man said was correct, he also left out the most important part.

"You do that and you lose Daryl," I called out over the railing, getting to my feet to show I was joining the discussion.

"What?" Glenn looked up at me as if to say my point was invalid even though it was obvious to everyone else who listened that what I said held the truth. It was too bad the man had no intentions of acknowledging the facts. He clearly wanted nothing to do with Merle and, in turn, was blind to just how much the situation was related to, and affected, Daryl.

"You don't know what Merle's done, the sort of person he is. You weren't there for any of it," The Asian male defended harshly, impulsively pointing out that I was an outsider -at least to the memories he brought up. I knew he didn't mean what he said, but knowing that didn't stop me from being offended by his uncalled-for remark. Sure, I wasn't with them from the very beginning, however, I have been with them long enough to have earned my place by their side.