Hybristophilia | Kylo Ren x Reader.

Identical.

You slipped yourself into the Chanel dress that Rose had chosen for you, smoothing it down over your figure, your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at yourself in the mirror. You turned to Rose who was sat on the edge of your bed, trying to gauge her opinion.

"What do you think?" You said, giving her a small twirl.

"It's perfect. I don't want to blow my own horn, but...I think I could have a future in personal styling." Rose said, giving you a wink.

You laughed and looked back in the mirror. You felt beautiful, for the first time in such a long time. "Thank you Rose, I love it."

The dress was a deep turquoise colour, the fit hugged your shape perfectly and the hem stopped just above your knee, a small slit going up the side of your thigh. Classy and sexy at the same time. You stepped into some black stilettos and admired your reflection.

"Whoever this guy is, is a lucky guy indeed." She said, handing you a flute of prosecco.

"He sure is." You said, trying to ignore the overwhelming nausea in your stomach, you gulped down your drink, at least that would calm your nerves.

"Easy there...you don't want to be drunk before you get there." She chuckled. You rolled your eyes, filling your glass up again, sipping the bubbles slowly.

"I'll call the Uber now." Rose said before dialling the number.

You looked at yourself again and smiled. You hair was styled in loose waves, cascading down over your shoulders. You went for a smokey eye with flecks of green glitter and a ruby red lipstick. You hadn't worn this much make-up in months, it felt good. You finished your second glass of fizz and topped up your lipstick, rubbing the excess from your front teeth. 

The Uber arrived shortly after, you made sure you had your phone, purse and keys. You took your seat in the car, trying to stay calm. You'd never been on a blind date before, your mind was creating scenarios already, what if he was a total jerk...what if he didn't even show up. But what if it went well...you'd never so much as kissed a man since you lost Flip, you didn't know if you could remember how.

Your palms were clammy, your stomach was in knots, you were sure you were sweating from places you didn't even know could sweat from. Rose held your clammy hand and gave it a squeeze, you were so grateful for her, she was a wonderful friend. Ever since you met each other at Queen of Hearts you had been inseparable. She was also going on a date, but she had already met her guy before, he was called Finn. You hadn't met him yet because it was early days, but he made Rose smile and that was good enough for you.

The Uber pulled up outside Erso and you took a deep breath, thanked the driver and got out. Rose was heading further into the city so she gave you a brief hug before heading off.

"Call me when you get a chance, just so I know you're safe. Okay?" She asked.

"I will. Have a good time with Finn!" You said, trying to play it cool.

"I will, I'll see you soon. Go get em' tiger!" She yelped, giving you two thumbs up before driving away.

You chuckled nervously as the Uber drove away, leaving you stood alone outside of Erso. You ran your hands through your hair, telling yourself to be brave, before going inside. You were greeted by Josie again, thankful to see a familiar face.

"Hello again! You look beautiful tonight." She said sweetly. "Your date isn't here yet, so if you just take a seat at the bar, and I will send him over to you when he arrives."

"Okay...thank you Josie." You said, following her as she lead the way to the busy bar. 

You sat down on a leather barstool, crossing one leg over the other and tapped your foot on the footrest nervously. A bartender came over to you, complimenting your makeup, that made you feel good. 

"What can I get you to drink?" He asked politely.

"Um...just a glass of prosecco please." You said sheepishly. He nodded, turning around the make your drink. He placed it down on a small black napkin for you. You took the glass and drank it down, it tasted expensive, you were grateful the drinks were free tonight.

As you sat down at the bar, you watched the front door. A few men had walked in, they were attractive enough but you were silently happy none of them were here for you.

Almost twenty minutes went by as you sat alone, you were already feeling tipsy as you drank on an empty stomach. Your nerves were subsiding, but you had a horrible feeling you had been stood up. The friendly bartender gave you a small smile of encouragement, he noticed you twiddling your thumbs as you sat in silence. You looked around at some of the occupied tables, the other people on blind dates seemed to be happy, talking and drinking. Your head hung in disappointment, you began to think you should just go home, until you felt a large hand on you. You almost jumped out of your seat at the feeling of cold skin against your bare shoulder. 

You turned your head round, only to be faced with a wall of broad chest muscles, tucked into a crisp white shirt. As your gaze looked up slowly you noticed a black bow tie, perfectly knotted around a wide neck, then your eyes fell on his face. You felt your heart plummet to the bottom of your stomach. Clean shaven, dotted in freckles, a thin pink scar on his left cheek. A chiseled jaw, perfect plump lips, a prominent nose that was perfectly symmetrical on either side, like he was chiselled by the gods of ancient Greece. A pair sensual eyes that were the colour of maple syrup...and black, wavy hair that touched his shoulders. You felt your mouth gape open slightly, blinking rapidly. He was the spitting image of him...of your Flip. You felt your hand drop to your side, your champagne flute smashing on the marble floor beneath you. You didn't care, you couldn't look away from him.

Was this a dream?

The bartender ran around to the other side of the bar, sweeping up the broken glass as you stared at your date in total disbelief. You felt tears pricking in your eyes, trying to hold them back. Once the mess was cleared, he sat down at the bar beside you, ordering himself a whiskey on the rocks.

"Good evening." He said. His accent wasn't like Flips...but it was still a deep and baritone.

"H-Hello." You croaked. He took one of your small hands in his, planting a kiss upon it.

"Are you alright? You look a little, pale..." He asked. You felt sick, like you were in another nightmare, but you were awake, you felt him let go of your hand, sipping his whiskey as you gulped down your panic.

"Oh, yes...I'm sorry you just look...so familiar." You said as the bartender handed you another drink, you were eternally grateful. "What is your name?"

"Ben. And you are?" You sighed, you are falling apart you thought to yourself. You told him your name and he gave you a small smile. "Lovely name." 

You couldn't believe what you were seeing. A man, who was the spitting image of your lost love. The only differences were the clean shaven face, the scar and the fashion sense. You could have fallen down and cried right there, it was like Flip had been reborn, and found you again. You tried to ignore it, Ben wasn't Flip...Flip was gone. But Ben was very much here. You looked at his lips, you wanted to kiss him. Maybe it would be like kissing Flip again. Your mind was fighting a silent battle, you were aching for a total stranger. As the minutes past you let yourself relax, the alcohol calming you down. 

"So what do you do?" He asked, looking over at you.

"I'm an event planner...weddings." You mumbled. "What do you do Ben?"

"I'm a psychologist." He said, linking his hands together in front on him. Those hands...you wanted to hold them so badly. You breathed a small sigh of relief, at least he wasn't a detective, that would have been too freaky.

"That's really interesting. So...do you do this sort of thing often?"

"Not at all." He said, his expression was stoic now.

"Are you terribly disappointed that I'm your match?" You said, trying to gauge his interest.

"No." One of his large, masculine hands moved to your cheek, his thumb rubbing you slightly. You gulped at the feeling, it was eerily similar to how Flip would wake you up in the morning. "Why so nervous, hm?" He asked quietly, eyes never leaving yours.

"You're just...so...beautiful." You said, your mouth speaking before you could stop it. You felt your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. 

Ben smirked at you, tilting his head as he noticed your blushing cheeks. He pulled his hand away and stood up, towering over you.

"Let's find our table." He said. You stood up, unsteady on your feet, and followed him.

He pulled your chair out for you like a true gentleman, allowing you to sit, then he took his seat opposite you. You couldn't stop staring at him, puzzled by how similar he looked. You couldn't believe he was real...he was utter perfection. You noticed the way his muscular arms were almost bursting out of his expensive looking black suit jacket, making you gulp. You wanted to see every inch of his body. You cursed yourself for comparing him to Flip, you knew he would never be him, but he was the best chance you were going to get. It was like he was his long lost twin brother, the one who got away. You had to tell Rose.

"What do you want to order?" He asked, looking up from his menu. You almost forgot where you were for a minute.

"I, um...I'll just have the same as you. I need to use the bathroom." You said, making a hasty exit to the back of the room. 

Once you got into the bathroom stall you sat down and dialled Rose. She picked up straight away. 

"Hey babe. How's it going? What is he like? Tell me everything."

"You're not going to believe this Rose...but he looks just like Flip...like, his doppleganger." You choked. "I feel like I'm hallucinating." 

Rose was silent for a second, clearly as confused as you were. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, he looks just like him...apart from the clothes and the clean shave, it's like he's his twin." You said, you sounded like a crazy person.

"Okay...just breathe. I know this sounds impossible, but just try and forget about Flip for tonight. Enjoy this guys company, enjoy the free food, and stay calm. Okay?" She said.

"I'll try. God Rose, this is so fucking weird." You sighed.

"I know. And I know he isn't actually Flip, but maybe this is fate? Like...a second chance?" She muttered.

"Maybe. I'll speak to you later, thank you Rose." 

You hung up the call and took a deep breath in and out, Rose was right. He was never going to replace your lost fiancé, but maybe he could help heal you. Just looking at his face brought you comfort, like Flip was still there with you, but in a new form. If Flip could see you now he would be in fits of laughter, and he would definitely approve of your date. You smiled to yourself.

"Come on...get it together." You muttered under your breath, before making your way back to your table.

You sat back down opposite Ben, a fresh drink sat beside your cutlery. You happily sipped it, letting your worries fade away. You just wanted to enjoy your evening, you didn't want to think about Flip, or work, you just wanted to focus on this handsome stranger.

"So, Ben...What brought you here tonight?" You mused, taking small bites of your caprese salad.

"I was craving something...new." He said, a flirtatious tone lingered in his words. "Yourself?"

"I, well...I have been alone for a long time, I guess I'm craving something too." You admitted.

"Alone?" He quizzed, chewing his food slowly.

"My fiance...he, he was killed three years ago." You said quietly, sorrow filling the pit of your stomach. You didn't want to talk about it, but you felt strangely comfortable with this stranger.

"That's who I remind you of isn't it?" He asked, peering up into your sad eyes. You nodded yes. His hand moved and rested on top of your arm, holding your wrist gently. "I'm sorry for your loss." 

"It's okay, I have to move on." You said, looking down at his large hand. You felt a warmth run through you, one you hadn't felt in so long.

You sat and talked for the rest of the evening. Ben had ordered steak for the main course, cooked medium rare, accompanied by buttery vegetables and a rich red wine sauce. It was divine, he seemed to read your mind. Then for dessert you both had a coffee panna cotta, with fresh cherries and a hazelnut praline. He watched you as you sucked a single cherry in your mouth, smirking slightly as some juice trickled from your mouth. You wiped it away nervously, but he never lost his wicked grin.

"Do you smoke?" He asked, opening a silver cigarette holder.

"Yes." You said, taking one from him. They were tailor made, like Flip used to smoke...

'Stop comparing him to Flip.'  You muttered to yourself in your head.

You followed Ben outside to the smoking area, it was a beautiful garden, full of fairy lights and flowers, small tables and swinging chairs scattered around. It was empty, apart from one girl sat on her phone, her eyes landed on Ben and she stared. He was beautiful, you couldn't blame her for looking. But you still felt a small burst of jealousy hit you in the chest.

Ben took a seat on the swinging chair and you sat beside him, inhaling the smoke and watching it dance as you blew it out. His hand found your thigh, gently caressing you as you sat and smoked in silence, the night sky was clear, full of bright stars. You felt that warmth again, flooding your senses, creeping between your legs. He was turning you on. It had been such a long time since you were touched like this, since you were intimate with someone.

"Come here..." He purred, his hand tapping his thigh. You gulped, he wanted you to sit on his lap.

You slowly put out your cigarette in the ashtray and inched over to him, taking your seat on his strong thigh. His hand wrapped around your waist, holding you tightly. It felt so natural, being held by him, like you had known him for much longer than a few hours.

"Thank you so much for tonight...you made my nerves melt away." You said, taking his free hand in your own, interlocking your fingers with his. Your hand felt perfect in his, like it was made to fit there.

"I'm glad." He said as he blew his smoke out. "I booked a room here tonight, join me."

You nodded yes without questioning him. You couldn't deny how badly you wanted him. His hand moved your hair away from your neck and his lips kissed the delicate skin below your ear gently, flooding your whole body with electricity.

"Room 66." He said softly against your ear, handing you a plastic key card. "I'll be there soon."

You moved from his lap, clutching the key. You gave him a small grin and made your way to the room.

You wouldn't be alone tonight.