selene // thor odinson

VI

new asgard

one year later

Thor was being distant.

And that was something I wasn't exactly sure how to handle.

We had been together for many years at this point, three years to be exact. Even before our relationship blossomed in the cave holding the water of sight, we had known each other many years prior.

Our friendship alone was special, it brought together two realms that were once fuelled by nothing but resentment and vengeance. Naturally, it wasn't easy to have that trust within one another, especially with our history, but the familial problems we both shared tied us together with a trust that we both needed down in New Mexico.

Once our friendship became more, we flirted with the fates, holding onto as much time as much borrowed time as we could. Hephaestus' ship is a moment in time I will forever cherish dearly, despite the mission that we knew we had, which only proved to fail us in the future, our bond grew greater than we could have believed and our love for one another soon became apparent.

However for the majority of those three years, we were starkly apart. And yet, in that time I never felt as far away from him as I did now.

During the time when I spent my days in Olympus, protecting my country of Greece, he was out scouring the galaxies in an attempt to prevent Ragnarok. That was the time when we were physically apart, though, never did I feel a gap so wide than the one I felt so strongly between us now.

I had him right here, right beside me, right in my arms and yet it felt like he was galaxies away.

I knew the reason, it was clear because it was something I too felt so strongly within me. The guilt, the fault, the errors that we made that were not ones that should have been made. The small phrase, 'If only,' was the one that rang throughout my head in the thicket of the nights. If only I had been stronger, if only I acted a different way. But that's all they were, thoughts and regrets...nothing more...nothing that would change what happened in Wakanda.

Acceptance came eerily quick for me, I must admit. Perhaps it was because of the overwhelming loss I felt with my father, all this pain and sorrow just felt so familiar that I knew I could pull myself out of it, to not let myself drown.

Thor was not in the same position as I was. He was depressed. He was in a completely different state of mind that I was in and it strained me so much but still, I stood by him and was there for him but that didn't mean it was easy. Any moment, even the smallest times when I saw hope flash through those electric eyes, it was quickly blinked away.

Thor's indulgence was the problem. Sure, we're all a little hedonistic at times, especially Asgardians and Olympians, but Thor's alcoholic tenancies were far larger than little. Day after day I had found him ridden with empty bottles around him at the kitchen table, in the living room and even in the bedroom.

His guilt was never ending and thus, so was his drinking. His weight gain was exponential, not that it would ever matter to me, but it wasn't healthy, nothing about his behaviour was healthy.

The fact that I understood what he was feeling and why he was feeling the way he did made the situation more difficult than it already was.

Every time I tried to get him to open up, to talk about what he was feeling and how to work through it, he covers it up with a joke or just completely waves me off. He didn't want to lean on me for support, he didn't want to confide in me, nothing that I did was enough for Thor and it was honestly beginning to crush me on the inside.

My love for him was immense but these days, it didn't feel like those feelings were reciprocated.

One early afternoon, I got back to the house after making my early morning rounds to check up on the villagers.