𝔻𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝔹𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕨 [5] || bellamy b. series

Chapter 11

Everything we've ever worked for was gone; our home, our food and our leader who we thought we could count on no matter what.

I always knew that what Octavia and I did was for Wonkru, we always wanted the best for our clan. Even the toughest time, we told each other it was for survival.

What I have done in the past six years will never be forgiven but I knew in my heart that I've done the things I've done for the better. I've killed to protect my best friend, we've rationed human meat to help Wonkru survive.

Burning down hydrofarm could not be helping Wonkru at all. I tried understanding Octavia's logic but I couldn't get it. Maybe she had lost her ways, maybe the issue was deeper than Abby and her blackmailing two teenagers.

Either way, I felt a sense of responsibility on my end too. The problem with Dark Year all started from me after all; I was the cause of all of this mess. It was some sort of chain reaction, a butterfly effect.

That one bullet changed everything and I've ruined every single lives that I was supposed to protect, including the ones that were in the Ring. Because of what I've done, they came back to Earth and got involved in the mess I've created.

With a backpack full of ration we probably can't keep for six days, we marched toward Shallow Valley to take the only livable land on Earth. As I caught up to Octavia who led us, I tugged on her arm. 'Why did you do it?'

'We need the Valley, it's the only way Wonkru can survive.' She didn't turn around to answer as she kept her head up. 'Thought you'd understand.'

'Did you really tell Bellamy to kill Indra in the fighting pit?' I couldn't keep this to myself, the thought of Octavia betraying her people circled my mind.

She stayed silent for a bit before she answered. 'Since when are you and Bellamy talking again?'

'I had to go see him before he was sent off. Why wouldn't I go?' I bit my lips, 'You would sacrifice your family if they weren't blood? Is that all I am to you?'

Octavia quickly turned her head, 'Of course I would never do that to you Y/N.'

'Indra was someone who cared for you this whole time since we've been sent down. If you betrayed her, then I'm sur-'

'Can we not speak of this? You're speaking nonsense.'

'Nonse-' I sighed, trying to wrap my head around all of this. 'I've killed innocent people because Abby threatened to hurt you. I did all the things I was against to protect you.'

Octavia rolled her eyes, continuing to look straight into the sands. 'I never asked you to protect me.'

My brows raised, not believing what came out of Octavia's mouth. Despite me doing things that were wrong, I convinced myself it was okay as long as Abby didn't hurt Octavia.

I threw all my beliefs and morals away just to have Octavia tell me that all the shit I've done was unappreciated. I felt as though I've been living a lie for four years.

'Are you fucking kidding me?' I huffed, not knowing what else to say in such situation.

I've sacrificed everything for someone I thought was my best friend. Octavia was the only person I've ever cared about these past few years and now I feel stupid that I've changed myself for someone like her.

'Wait, Y/N. I didn't-'

'I've done everything for you, stood by you this whole time because I thought that I meant that much to you.' I shook my head and turned back around.

Octavia grabbed onto my hand as she tried to pulled me back to the front. 'Y/N, I'm sorry.'

While tears dripped down my face, I angrily yanked my arm away from her. Looking at her dead in her eyes, I took a deep breath and walked away.