Lost in Glorious Mischief

Sparks

You and Loki walk inside. You walk up the stairs to the common room.
"Shall I walk you to your room?" Loki asks, breaking the silence.
You pause and contemplate for a moment,
"Actually, no I'm going to grab a bite to eat and sit on the balcony," you say to him.
He looks as though he was disappointed, he nods his head and begins to walk to the rooms. Before he reaches the hallway you step forward,
"You can join me," you say nervously.
He stops walking and turns back to you,
"If you don't mind the company," he says.
"I prefer the presence of another person," you say jokingly. Walking over to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water out of the refrigerator. You grab one more and hand it to Loki.
"So, is there anything good to eat around here?" you ask Loki.
"Hmm, I'm not too certain, let's look," He says, walking into the kitchen. You smile and join him at the pantry.
You both look through the shelves trying to find something decent to eat.
"Looks as though Pepper and Natasha haven't gone to the grocer yet. We have granola bars or some stale biscuits," Loki says holding up one of each.
"Hmm, granola bar," you say, taking it from his hand.
He grinned and placed the biscuits back on the shelf.
You both walk out to the balcony. You take a seat in one of the chairs. Loki decides to stand. He leans against the railing and faces you.
You both sit in silence for a moment not sure what to say.
"I never thanked you," you say breaking the silence.
Loki looks up and meets your eyes.
"Thanked me for what?" he asked, slightly confused.
"For last night," you say.
"I'm sure that was not how you wanted to spend your evening but I appreciate it. So, thank you," you say as you break eye contact and fumbling with your fingers.
Loki sits in the chair next to.
"Claire, if you don't mind me asking what were you dreaming about," he asked, taking your hand.
His touch feels soft, gentle, more inviting than anticipated.
Nervously you stand, releasing his hand from yours.
"Umm, I don't know," you say leaning against the rail, facing Loki, and running your hand down your ponytail.
"I never know what they are about. I just feel pain and see faces, so many faces. Everything happens so fast it's all hard to make out. I know they are memories but it all comes out a mess," you try to explain.
You look up and notice Loki staring at you. You meet his eyes and quickly look back down. You start to fumble with the zipper on your jacket.
"And you think I am crazy," you say, upset that you allowed yourself to be so vulnerable.
Loki's gaze softens he stands and starts to walk to you.
"Love, you are talking to God of Mischief; I am the definition of crazy," he says trying to lighten the mood. Lifting your chin so you're facing him.
You sink into his green eyes as he dives into the blue pools that are yours.
He drops his hand and takes a step back.
"You know, I think you have been hurt, in every possible way someone could hurt a person. You try so hard to conceal it but your walls fall when you are asleep. Allowing the memories to invade and damage you." He says. "If you allow yourself to give in you may receive a more understandable picture, " he explains.
"How do I do that? The pain," you pause "it's unbearable," you say looking at Loki. "I may be able to kick Bucky through a wall but giving in to that pain, I don't think I could do this."
Loki paces for a moment. He stops to turn and face you.
"What if I were there?" he asked. "I can help ease the pain, I can take some of it away if you allow me to see your dream."
"Well, what if it doesn't work? Loki I don't know. I don't even want to sleep. The fear of feeling the pain, it's too much," you say getting aggravated.
Loki steps forward and takes your hands,
"If you allow me, I will not leave. If it doesn't work I will wake you and we will find another way, " he says softly trying to reassure you. You fade back into his eyes. You give in.
"Okay, okay fine we can try," you say.
Loki looks at you relieved. You both look down and notice he still has your hands. He drops them and steps back from you.
"Then we shall meet again, tonight?" he asked.
"Yeah, tonight," you say, not meeting his eyes.
Loki walks backward, he turns around and walks into the compound.
Once he has gone you let out a breath. Unaware that you were even holding it in.
You stay on the balcony for some time. You try to comprehend what was happening. Asking yourself why he has been so charming with you. You sit and pounder until the sun begins to set.
"You've been out here for a while," you hear someone say from behind you.
You are startled, you turn to see Steve standing in the balcony doorway.
"Oh, yeah, lost in thought," you say, standing to face Steve.
"Anything interesting?" he asks, walking toward you.
"Uhh, not really. I've only been thawed for a week. Most of which I have spent in a cell sleeping. So not a lot to think about," you say.
Steve leans against the railing.
"I suppose that is true. It's odd being frozen, isn't it? Your body froze in time." Steve says looking off over the balcony.
"You've been frozen?" you ask, walking over to him, leaning on the railing.
"Yeah. Not like you and Bucky were but I know how it feels, "
You turn to face him, "Every day I wake up it takes me a few moments to remember this isn't the 1940s anymore. That I'm not 80 years old and bedridden. I can't help but feel as though I missed out on everything. My friends, falling in love, having children. It was all taken away from me," you say.
Steve turns his attention to you.
"Well, it's not too late. You can still have that. Think of it as your second chance," he says to you smiling.
"I guess you're right," you say, looking back to the horizon, smiling.

The rest of the evening Steve and you spend talking on the balcony. Both reminiscing the past or what you remembered of it. How different a time it was. Your childhood, the hardships, the heartbreaks, and the good times. You talk about your families, brothers, and sisters. Steve doing most of the talking.
The sun fades. Neither of you notices and continue talking long into the evening.

As it got colder you began to shiver.
"Here, " Steve says standing and taking off his jacket.
He walks behind you and drapes it on your shoulders.
"Thanks, " you say, bringing the jacket further around your shoulders.
"Well, Claire I believe Tony should be back by now. I should go. It has been a pleasure being with you this evening. I hope we can do it again," he says, taking your hand and kissing it.
"Thank you for keeping me company," you say standing up.
"I should probably get to bed myself here soon,"  you reach around to grab his jacket off your shoulders.
"Keep it. You can give it back to me tomorrow." Steve says as he gives you a big smile.
"Thank you, " you smile back to him.

Steve leaves you on the balcony. After a few moments of gazing at the stars, thinking about your conversation with both Loki and Steve you head back to your room with a smile on your face.
It is just past midnight and your body is aching.
Once in your room, you take Steves's jacket off and lay it on the bed. You head to your dresser and grab some pajamas. You take them into the bathroom so you can take a shower and change.
You allow the hot water to run over your aching muscles. When you're finished you get out and get dressed. You wipe the steam off the mirror. You notice the bags under your eyes seemed to have gotten bigger. You try to ignore it and leave the bathroom. Taking a towel with you to continue drying your hair.
In your room, it's dark. The glow of the utility light outside illuminates parts of your room.
" I thought you had forgotten about me." a voice says from the dark corner.
You jump, startled.
Loki turns on the lamp next to the bed. He was sitting in the chair in the corner waiting for you.
"For fuck sake, Loki!" you say, a tad angry.
"You have got to stop doing that!"
Loki laughs,
"Sorry love, I like the element of surprise. However, I did knock before entering. I may be evil but I am a gentleman, " he says standing and chuckling.
"Yeah? well, I'm gonna surprise you one of these days with a major ass-kicking if you keep doing that," you say hanging your towel on the hook next to your dresser.
"I look forward to it, " Loki says with a grin.
He looks over to the bed and sees Steve's jacket lying there. He tries his hardest to hide his jealousy.
"I see you had a pleasant evening with the Cap, " he says, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice.
You look to the bed and see what he was gesturing at.
"Uhh yeah," you say grabbing the jacket from your bed and hanging it in the closet., "Steve and I were talking on the balcony for most of the evening and I got chilly," you say nervously.
"You have been on the balcony all day?" he asked, concerned.
Looking at him confused,
"Yeah. I was out there most of the day by myself. Steve found me when it started getting dark and joined me. Why do you ask?"
Loki is puzzled,
"Well I did not care for the way we ended our conversation earlier, It felt awkward. I went to check on you but you weren't there. I had thought you went down to the training room." he says stepping toward you.
You look at him confused.
"Claire, you weren't on that balcony," he says, with even more concern in his voice.
"Loki, I was on that balcony all afternoon," you say stepping toward him. "
Maybe you looked on the wrong area of the balcony," you say, trying to reassure him.
"Yes, perhaps," he says, still puzzled, knowing he looked on the right balcony and was certain you weren't there. He decides not to press it any further, yet.
Changing the subject,
"So should we watch a movie?" you ask.
Loki still lost in his thoughts finally looks up at you.
"If we must, " he says looking at you grinning.
You grin back and grab the remote. You put a movie on and crawl into bed. Loki goes back to the corner and sits in the chair.
You look over.
"Loki, you can sit on the bed with me. I do not mind."
Loki looks at you, hesitant to get up. After a few moments, he does. He walks to the other side of the bed and joins you.
You both sit in silence watching the movie. Even though you aren't talking, his very presence gives you the uttermost feeling of comfort. You remain that way until you both fall asleep.