Lost in Glorious Mischief

Falling

"Loki, you are worrying me," you say. Loki hasn't said anything else, he remains standing by your bed, unable to say what he needs to say.
You walk over to him and take his hand.
"What is it," you ask, in a softer tone; looking up and meeting his eyes.
He looks at you. His body relaxes when you touch his hand. Something about you makes him vulnerable. You make him feel as though he is more than a monster. Your very presence next to him makes him feel at home. As though he has known you for his entire life. As though you have been connected through the stars. You standing there with him, holding his hand feels as though it is where you are meant to be.
He can't take it anymore. Not knowing how you feel, hating seeing another man touch what he longs to have. The unknown is killing him, the act he puts on to hide his feelings. He has had enough.
He lets go of your hand and starts pacing the floor.
"Claire, I can't keep doing this," he says.
"Doing what?" you ask, concerned.
"This! Behaving as though I don't care for you. Acting as though Steve touching you doesn't bother me. Pretending that I only care about your training to unlock your bloody powers," He says, becoming agitated. "They, " he points to the door and stops walking, "all believe I am only helping you so I can stay out of that cell."
"Loki, what are you talking about?" you ask, confused.
Loki stops pacing and walks up to you. He is only inches away from your face.
"Claire, I want you. All of you. I told you that this was the most selfish thing I would ever do. You don't belong with me. You belong with someone like him. Someone who won't hurt you, someone who can love you the way you deserve. You don't deserve to be with a monster like me. Yet, I can't let you be with anyone else."
He cups your face and leans in and kisses you before you can speak.
You are taken by surprise but don't pull away. You let go and kiss him back. The kiss is heavy, passionate. It makes you feel as though everything in your life has fallen into place. That one kiss has made you forget about your troubles and allows your walls to crumble. You surrender yourself to him.
His fingers run through your hair, kissing you harder. Turning you around and laying you on the bed. Loki leans over you. He continues to kiss you. Moving to your neck. You softly moan as he kisses down your neck. He moves back up to your lips. Placing his hand behind your head and pulling you up into him. As the heat between the two of you intensified, you get a vision.
It begins with 6 colored stones. You then see death and feel unimaginable pain. You hear a man's voice but cannot make out who it is. You can hear screaming. The last piece of the vision you see is Loki. He is laying on the ground. His green eyes staring blankly, his body not moving, a small amount of blood coming from his mouth. Pain shoots through your head.
"Are you alright?" Loki asked. Unaware that you had pushed him away and in your attempts to stand you had fallen to the ground.
You try to catch your breath. Looking around to remind yourself you're still in your room. Your eyes meet with Loki.
"Claire, what did you see," he asked. Concerned with your sudden panic.
You stand, Loki stands with you, holding you up in case you were to fall again.
You try to hide the tears, but one escapes. You quickly wipe it away.
"It's nothing, just a bad memory," you say, not wanting to tell him what you saw. Not until you had a chance to talk to Tony.
"Claire, what did you see?" Loki asked again, not satisfied with your answer.
You are unable to find the words to tell him.
Before you could answer there is a knock on the door.
You look at the door then back at Loki. You begin to walk to the door. Loki grabs your arm,
"Claire, talk to me," he says meeting your eyes.
"Loki, I will but please let me get the door," you say taking his hand off your arm.
You walk to the door and open it only to find Steve on the other side.
"Steve," you say, not opening the door all the way.
"Hey Claire, I was just checking to see if you made it in alright," he says, glancing at the door then back at you.
"Yeah, I got in about an hour ago," you say, trying to hide your impatience; waiting for him to get to the reasoning behind his unexpected visit to your room.
You feel unsettled with Loki listening to every word knowing how he feels about Steve and you.
"Would you perhaps want to take an evening stroll, or sit on the balcony, with me?" He asks nervously.
You shift your weight and glance behind you.
Loki is standing almost directly behind you.
"Actually, tonight isn't the best night. I am wiped out. I was going to call in early. How about another rain check?" you ask, smiling, trying to hide what is lurking behind your door.
"Of course, I will let you get some sleep," Steve says, disappointed, "Good-night Claire."
"Night Steve," you say, waiting until he has left to shut your door.
You turn to find Loki behind you.
"So when will this rain check be," Loki asked with a smirk, masking his anger.
You roll your eyes and walk past him and sit on your bed.
Loki walks over and sits next to you. He takes your hand.
"I am sorry love, I sprang this on you," he says intertwining his fingers with you. "It was never my intention to complicate your life more than it already is."
"It's not that. I was going to spring something similar on you," you say, smiling.
"I am slightly upset I rushed in when I did," he says, jokingly; "I would have loved to hear what you were going to say."
You both laugh. It fades into silence as your thoughts trail off to your vision. Loki can tell it is bothering you.
"Claire, may I see what you saw?" Loki asked.
"I don't know, I'm not even sure what I saw," you say, reluctantly.
"Maybe I can help," Loki says.
You nod your head. Loki places his fingers on your temple. You allow him to see your vision.
When finished he is at a loss for words.
"Told you it was not pleasant," you say, looking down at your hands, fumbling with your fingers.
Loki takes your hand.
"It was a vision of an outcome that could happen in the future," he says, trying to ease your mind.
You don't say a word for a few moments,
"Loki, you died. You were dead! It felt so real!"  you say, standing, becoming anxious.
"I cannot deal with more death in my life. I feel the pain of every person I have killed. I feel the pain of my parent's death. I can feel it every day. My brother died, my parents died, my fiancé died, parts of me have died I just can't do it. I cannot physically lose anybody else. I cannot lose you," you say, stumbling over your words, becoming more and more anxious and inconsolable with every word.
Loki stands and takes your hands,
"Claire, I am alive. I am breathing, I am here with you, right now. As I said, it was a possible outcome of what could happen in the future. The future is constantly changing. Nothing is definite or set in place. Please stop worrying," Loki says, calming you down.
You take a deep breath and force a smile,
"Okay. You know I'm probably just tired and need to sleep," you say hiding your anxiety.
"I will let you do that," Loki says, kissing your forehead.
He heads to the door
"Please stay," you say, stopping him before he reaches the door. "I don't want to be alone,"
Loki turns back toward you.
"Of course love," he says walking back over to the bed, getting into it.
You get in on the other side sliding close to Loki.
You both lay face to face, playing with each other's fingers. You remain like this until Loki falls asleep.
It is late. Loki is asleep. You quietly get out of bed and change into leggings and a jacket. You quietly leave your bedroom making sure not to wake Loki.
The compound is quiet.
You head outside. It is chilly. You zip your jacket up and take off running.
You run around the compound, eventually, you lose count of the laps. Lost in your thoughts about your vision. About what had happened between Loki and you. 
You lose track of time. The sun is now up. On your last lap, you notice Tony's car at the compound. You finish your lap eager to get inside to talk to him.