mental state

18. Here

As we stood in that alley hugging and both shedding the most confusing tears he wiped the tears from his face and sayd:" Lets go... I have something to show you." He held my hand and leaded me into one of the tallest buildings in the city. It was a business building so I didnt know what to expect. "I rented a place here. I cant lice at home anymore. Im not wanted there and I dont want to be there." We walked into a lift and he pressed the highest button. Floor12. As the doors opend we walked into a corridor with two doors on both sides and one in the end. He opened the door in the end of the corridor. We walked in "Well?" He asked while i layed my eyes on this huge room fully furniced and with a beautiful view. There were glass walls letting in the light.

I turned around "How did you afford this place?" I asked as I walked up to him. "I have my ways." He smiled gently. "I just hope you wont get into trouble for whatever you did to get this." I turned to look at the modern apartment with a dark interior. "Dont worry, Ill be gone before they get me haha." he sayd jokingly as he opend another door leading into the bedroom. "Wow, that looks comfy." He jumped onto the bed and I followed. I jumped into his arms. 

I cant believe we have a place, so far away from everything yet right in the middle of it all. I hugged him oh so tightly. His chin resting on my head he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. "Im sorry for all the shit I sayd before." He sayd while I pressed my cheek against his warm chest. "I forgive you. Im sorry too...." I looked up at him "For taking away your choice." He looked at me with those beautiful grey eyes. "You havent taken anything away from me." He smiled and kissed me passionatly. 

I ran my fingers thru his hair. We rolled over, him now under me. I sat up and looked down. He smirked and placed his hands on my hips. "Lets do it together."  he sayd with a suggestive tone. My eyes lit up and I nodded. 

-time skip- 

I woke up and felt weirdly alone. I turned around and Tay wasnt next to me. I got up and wrapped myself in the blanket. I walked out of the bedroom, the size of the apartment still felt strange. Suddenly the deliciouse smell of pizza made my eyes widen. "Hey.." a calm voice from behind sayd as his arms turned me around by the hips. He kissed me. "Hey, I answered. "I ordered pizza. Thought youd be hungry." He pointed to the marbel kitchen table. "Wheres the bathroom? I need a shower." I asked and smiled. He led me to the bathroom "Be quick im STARVING." He sayd and laughed a little as he closed the door.

The bathroom as well as the rest of the apartment looked amazing. There was a big shower with a built in bath and a beautiful big  square mirror with a black wooden frame. I let the blanket fall onto the floor. I admired the marks left behind. Half of them made by me thru hatered and other half made by Tay from love. I ran my hand over my scars and felt the tears of happyness fall. "Soon, well both be free." I smiled and looked into the mirror. Im so happy.....

I showerd and as I was drying myself Tay knocked on the door. "I brought some clean clothes." I let him in and he handed me the clothes. "Thank you Taylor." I looked up at him and kissed his cheek. He smiled and looked like he was about to cry. "Oh cmon now. I just sayd thank you. Go and idk, put plates onto the table." I pushed him out and giggled a little. He must have been suprised by that response. "You better act nice when you come out of there, baby." I heard a demanding pissed off voice thru the door. Just watch me, I thought.

I got out and he immediately grabbed me and lifted me into his arms. "Gotcha!" he gout out of the apartment and climbed up some metal stairs. "Hey! What do you think youre doing?" I yelled at him while messing up his hair. He kicked open a metal door and put me down. The whole city, you could see it all from here. He had layn down a big blanket and a few pillows with the pizza in the middle and two beer bottles. I looked back at him and I saw how proud he felt. Hes so pretty. 

We sat there and watched the sunset as we ate and drank beer. Mostly we talked about our past and traumas. But we werent sad about them, this felt normal. The two of us, we could talk about those things without feeling like it was wrong. Were both so broken that it felt like we were just talking about everyday things. Its nice to talk about stuff like that without worrying about how the other persone reacts or what they might think about you. Just talk, eat and drink. 

There was a moment of silence as we watched the last light fall behind the horizon. "Here?" He turned his head towards me and asked. I looked at him and nodded. "Here..." I answered. The decision was final.