mental state

15.

I can finally go home. Today was a nice day. Sam has a place to work at now and seemd in a good mood when he left. The owner always leaves early to catch the last bus and go home.  I checked my phone for messages. None, not even from Tay. Weird, he usually always send me a message or calls. Not today. I hope hes ok, Ill just call him just incase. It rung and rung, but noone picked up. I called one more time. Still no answer, maby hes already asleep. Ill walk to his house maby hes there.

When i got there the front door was open and I saw his mom and dad sitting on the couch. Did they leave the door open for a reason? I knocked on the doorframe and asked :"Hello, is Tay home?" His mom came to the door. She looked bad, shes definintely been drinking. She had scratches on her arms and some on her face. I was too scared to ask abt them. "Little shit ran away...." She sayd and closed the door right infront of me. What was that? Where could he be? The first place that came to mind while walking away from his house was the hill. So I started running towards it, the only thing that I was thinking about was his embrace. I want to hug him.

I got to the hill, ran up and there he was. But something is wrong, hes laying down. "Tay!" I yelled and ran over to him. Was he asleep? I grabbed his hand to wake him. I looked down and all I could see was blood. The excited smile swept from my face. What? No, no way! I fell onto my knees. He had slit his wrists. I quickly put my head onto his chest to see if he was breathing. I heard a slow beat, beating softer and softer. I grabbed my phone and called the ambulance. The slow beat was stuck in my ears as i waited for someone to pick up. "Hello, 911. What is your emergency?" A calm voice asked. I paused while looking at Tay, my panic came over me :"Please help! My friend h-h-he, hes hurt please! He slit his wrists..." I sayd with a shaky voice, while tears were flowing down my face. 

"Ok, try to stay calm. I need your location." the voice sayd. I kept my eyes on him, I was scared that if Id look away hed leave. "We, uhm we are on this hill. Near rout five uhm, you can see the city from here. Please I dont know what to do..." I held onto Tays hand the whole time while I was talking to the lady. I couldnt make out the words I heard anymore. All I could think about was Tay. Every hug he hage me, every kiss, every smile..... "Miss, can you hear? The ambulance is on rout five headed out of the city. If you could go to the side of the road, so we could find you quicker. Miss?" 

I couldnt see clear either, my head was spinning. The slow beat in my ears stopped. "Tay?" Is he gone? "TAY!" i yelled, my voice breaking. I was sobbing, my head was spinning and my eyes were foggy. I want to hold him! He can not be..... I grabbed onto him, pulling him up from the ground. My face was numb, my tears were heavy and big, running down my face like a river. "Tay, youre ok...your fine." I wisperd to him, while hugging him. I closed my eyes, holding him close to me. Swinging forth and back, I held his limp body in my arms. "Youll be fine....." I wisperd. 

I heard sirens from a far, while my vision darkend. Its quiet, dark, cold.