SAVE ME || KTH

12

I felt empty. It had been a couple days since the whole situation with Nari and I wasn't handling the breakup well. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't bring myself to eat, I didn't want to do anything. I had a bunch of missed calls and texts from my friends and family and of course, Nari.

I hadn't answered any of them, especially Nari's. I wanted to block it but everytime I tried I couldn't bring myself to do it. I hated that she had this much of a hold on me but I loved her, and as much as I shouldn't, I did. I hated myself for that.

Over the past couple of days I had slept on the livng room floor, not being able to bring myself to sleep in the bed after what happened. I didn't even want to be in the room.

All I had done was cry. I couldn't stop and when I did I'd just stare blankly at the wall until my thoughts made me cry again. It was an endless cycle. All I felt was pain and then emptiness until the pain came back.

I didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve any of this and yet as much as It hurt, I knew this is what needed to be done. From the time the awfulness started to this very moment, Nari had always been hurting me. She broke me in ways I couldn't explain and I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to.

She hurt me so badly and I would never be able to forget that, no matter what. From the small moments where she would say one thing and go back on her word, to the bigger moments like her cheating on me, everything hurt just as bad. All she ever did was hurt me.

I sat up slowly, feeling the strong dark surge of sadness trying to pull me back down. As much as I was hurting, I was also relieved. I was finally free of Nari. I'd always have that pain and that heartache, but now she couldn't have that power of me staying any longer.

Nari and her awful ways, were finally gone.

I managed to stand up and walk myself to the bathroom. I took a look at myself in the mirror and cringed a bit. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy. (Not to mention insanely dry and burning) My hair was a mess, and overall I just looked awful.

I looked just as awful as I felt in all honesty. I was a wreck, mentally and physically. With one last glance at myself I dropped my head, not being able to look any longer. The longer I looked the worse I started to feel.

I walked back to the living room where my phone laid dead on the floor. I bent down to pick it up and then I let out a breath as I set it on the counter, plugging the charger into it. I looked around, taking in the emptiness of the house. Even when Nari was here it still felt this empty so it was no surprise that it felt the same.

I scoffed as I turned around, heading for my bedroom. I held my breath as I stared at the door, unable to move forward, unable to turn the knob. I didn't want to go in there. I didn't want to re live the moment I now hated.

As much as I dreaded it I knew I couldn't avoid it forever. I let out a breath as I turned the door handle. I pushed the door open and I felt as if I had the wind knocked out of me. Everything was just as she had left it.

I felt my eyes sting as tears threatened to spill yet again. Instead of letting them, I got angry. I began ripping the room apart. Throwing her things out the bedroom door, ripping the sheets off the bed and throwing them along with it.

I hate her. I hate her so much.

I was seeing red as I threw every last thing of hers out the room. Throwing every last piece of her away. Finally, I stopped. As I looked around, the tears fell. She was gone.

Nari was finally...gone.
-

The following day I re did my whole apartment. I rearranged my room so it looked completely different. I moved around the living room as well, getting rid of every single sign of Nari ever being here. Yesterday I had thrown her clothes outside into the yard, not caring whether she actually got them or not.

Finally, the place was mine again. There wasn't a single trace of what was and I was super grateful for that. I had needed this. Although my heart still hurt so bad and all I wanted to do was cry, I wouldn't let her have that power over me, not anymore.

I let out a breath as I reach for my phone. I had charged it yesterday then didn't touch it again after that; I couldn't bring myself to. I hit the side button and my heart sinks as I see a recent text message from Nari.

Nari~ I hate you. I hope you know that. I'm glad we're not together anymore you're a piece of shit and I hope you never find anyone who loves you because you deserve nothing.

Biting back my tears, I block her. I finally block her. Something I should have done a long time ago.

I scroll down the many texts from my friends and family and my finger stops on a certain name. Y/n.

Twenty-three missed texts. The most recent text said something that made my heart ache.

"Tae, please. I know you're hurting but I need to know that you're okay. Please just text me back. Please. If I lost you I don't know what I would do. Please just call me, text me back, something.

My eyes watered as I felt the urge to cry again. Through everything, Y/n has always been there for me no matter what. She cared about me more then I cared about myself and she was the one perosn I trusted with my whole life.

Hurting her was the last thing I'd ever want to do. I type out a long response, knowing exactly what I needed to say,

Then I hit send.

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