SAVE ME || KTH

19

My mind and heart was racing. I had no idea what I was feeling and I couldn't stop this pain in my chest. It felt like with Nari all over again and that's what confused me the most.

I hear a knock on my door and look up to see Namjoon standing there, a confused look on his face. "You okay?" Namjoon asked and I couldn't seem to speak. All I felt right now was anger as the image of Namjoon's tongue down Y/n's throat stayed burned in my head.

"What the hell was that?" I ask before I think and I instantly regret it. Namjoon looked just as taken back as I felt. "What is your problem? I thought you didn't care if Y/n and I got together." Namjoon says, his voice slightly offended.

"I don't." Lie. "Then why are you acting like it's a huge problem?" Namjoon asks, more confused then anything. "I don't know, I'm sorry. I was just taken back I guess." I say, not sure how to explain anything I'm feeling.

"Good, because I think I'm gonna ask her to be my girlfriend." Namjoon says and those words make my stomach do a flip. "You want to ask her out?" I ask, my throat closing. "Yeah, I think so." He says, a slight smile pulling on his lips.

"When?" I felt sick.

"Well I was going to before you came in. I came to check on you because Y/n was concerned you'd be upset or whatever." Hearing that just made me feel worse. Why did she care how I felt about her and Namjoon being together? I guess that meant back when y/n said she liked someone she meant Namjoon...

I don't know why that dissapointed me so much but it did.

"Wish me luck." Namjoon says as he heads for the door. Every part of me wanted to stop him but I didn't. I didn't because I had no idea why I was feeling this way and I didn't want this random feeling to get in the way of two people who like each other. I'm just not that type of person.

---

Around an hour had passed before I heard the front door open and close. I had been feeling on edge all hour and I wanted to know what had happened. I walk out to the living room where I find Y/n standing by the front door, her head in her hands.

"Is everything okay?" I ask and she quickly moves her head up and smiles but it seems forced. "Yeah, I'm great." She says and I instantly could tell she was lying. "Want to talk about it? What happened?"

I wasn't sure why she was so upset when surely she should be happy now that she was dating Namjoon.

"Namjoon just asked me out." Y/n says, still not smiling. "Okay...then why do you look so sad?" I ask, genuinely confused.

"I said no."

Her words shock me. "Why? I thought you liked him? Why did you say no?" I ask in a state of confusion and shock. I wasn't expecting what came out of her mouth next.

"I said no because I like someone else..."

So she wasn't talking about Namjoon. So who? "Was he upset?" I ask, unsure of how to handle everything that was going on. "Yeah that's why I feel so awful. It's all my fault. I continued to kiss him and lead him on even though I have feelings for someone else. I'm horrible." Y/n says, her shoulders beginning to shake.

"He knew you didn't feel the same way and he still continued to try to get with you so It's not completely on you." I say, feeling awful as she began crying. "It's still my fault. I shouldn't have lead him on like that. I feel so shitty. I've just tried so hard to push away my feelings for someone else that I hurt one of my closest friends in the process." Y/n sobs.

I wasn't sure what to say. I didn't want to ask who the other person was and quite frankly, I didn't want to know.

"He probably hates me now." She sighs, still crying. "He doesn't hate you. He's probably upset, yes, but he doesn't hate you. I promise you that." I say, stepping closer to her with open arms.

She falls into my chest and continues to cry. "I feel so bad." Her tears begin to wet my shirt. "It's gonna be okay." I say as I rub her back reassuringly.

I hated seeing her upset like this. She couldn't help who she had feelings for. Yeah it was a bit wrong for her to do those things with Namjoon if she liked someone else but at the same time, she isn't a monster for it.

"Do you think I'm a horrible person?" Y/n asked, pulling back and staring up at me with glossy eyes.

"Of course not."

Y/n let out a breath as she wiped her eyes. "I hope he still wants to be friends with me.." she says, her voice sad.

"I'm sure he will. We've all been friends for so long. I know he wouldn't just stop being friends with you because of that." I say and she stares at me for a moment before she nods.

"Can we please go out or something? I want to get my mind off of all of this." She says and of course I agree. Anything to see her smile again and not be upset.

So we went out.

We ended up seeing a movie then going out to dinner. Now we were just sitting at an empty park near the swing sets.

"Push me?" Y/n grinned as she hopped onto the swing and began to move her feet and body forward and back, giving herself a bit of momentum.

I grin as I walk behind her and begin to push her on the swing. She seemed to be much happier now and that made me happy too.

After I got her going high enough I backed up and simply watched her swing, a smile from ear to ear.

"Do you want to know something?" She asks, slightly yelling as she swung back and forth. "Huh?" Now her eyes drifted off so she wasn't making eye contact with me.

"About earlier, when I said I liked someone else..." she trailed off, her swing slowing down. "Yeah?" I ask, curious as to what she was going to say next.

Her swing can to a complete halt as she abruptly used her feet to stop. Her demeanor seemed to become serious.

"I just wanted to ask you if you thought I should just go for it and tell him how I feel or if I shouldn't. I know he needs t- I know I need to wait." She says. "Wait for what?" She still wasn't looking at me.

She went silent. "Nothing, never mind." She says, her cheeks flushed as she stood up from the swing. "We should go back." She says as her eyes flicker to mine for a second then disappear from my gaze again.

I don't press it. I don't say anything as I start to walk beside her. Neither of us said a single word the whole way home.

I was lost in my head as I thought about what she had said. She sounded as if she was going to say he needs time but time from what? Why did she have to wait? None of it made sense.

I was stuck between wanting to know everything about this mystery guy, to wanting to know nothing at all.

—
A/n: ((: helllllo <3