Bad Reputation - Shawn Mendes

25 - Frozen Still

Author's Note!

PLEASE READ ITS VERY IMPORTANT. I know I usually put this at the end of a chapter but i want to give a heads up that there will be a sensitive topic written in this chapter. So if you're uncomfortable you can read till the TW sign that i have placed in the middle of the chapter but please note that it was still be discussed in the next few chapters but in less details.

Eleanor.

"Can you drive tonight? I want to drink." I say while putting on my shoes. "Finally, my girl is letting loose!" She teases as she grabs the car keys. We head towards her car and drive towards the party. "Is everything okay?" She asks, noticing my frown. "Yeah." I show her a fake smile and she doesn't ask any further. We arrive at the party and it's even more crowded than the first one which I didn't even think it was possible. We get out of the car and head inside. Aaliyah immediately spots a couple of friends while i head to the kitchen to get drinks.

I really needed to drink and forget about everything. As much as it hurts me that Shawn didn't defend my reputation, I couldn't hate or blame him. He must have his reasons for not saying anything and i should give him a chance to explain himself. Anyways, I shouldn't have been listening in the first place. But now that i have, I can't stop thinking about it and drinking would be the only way for me to forget about it.

I down a shot that was on the table and i feel the burn at the back of my throat. I shrug if off before grabbing 2 cups and filling them up with cherry vodka, something i remember enjoying last time. I walk towards the group of them and they all greet me. Everyone is genuinely sweet like how i met them previously and i could tell neither of them judged me from what they overheard. We talked as we drank and it was loads of fun being able to actually be myself around people. I'm not sure if its the booze that's making me so comfortable about being so open but i kinda like not having to always give a fuck about what others think of me.

A remix of Shawn's song Stitches plays and i immediately stand up. "That's my jam!" I exclaim and move to the dance floor. Aaliyah laughs and follows me. Everyone ends up dancing on the dance floor and I'm shouting the lyrics at the top of my lungs and doing moves I've never done before. After the song ends, I shout "woo" but no one seemed to care at this party. "That was awesome!" Emily complimented and i blush from the rush of adrenaline that i just had. I have never done anything like that before and Aaliyah was right, it feels nice to finally let loose.

As the night progresses, people started leaving the dance floor either to make out with people or simply because they just got tired. I on the other hand, feeling a whole new wave of confidence from my fourteenth cup of drink.  "Turn it up DJ!" I yell and i see Aaliyah rolling her eyes in the corner of my eyes but a smile still plastered on her face. Most of the group had already left the party and it was just the three of us left. While dancing and feeling myself on the dance floor, i hear a loud thud and look down on the floor to realise that my phone had dropped out of my pocket. I pick up my phone and see a huge crack on the screen which made me gasp. I try to turn my phone on but it wouldn't. Although I'm pretty sure my phone had just broke, I didn't want to bring down my spirit so i put it back in my pocket and continued dancing.

TW: Sexual Harassment (If you're not comfortable reading please skip till the next chapter!)

"We're going to go to the bathroom, okay?" Aaliyah tells me and i nod as i groove to the rhythm of the music. The DJ must have been using my playlist because every single song he played was a song that i loved, making me want to dance more. "Hey baby." A guy comes up to me as I'm dancing. I turn around to see a random guy dancing along with me and sipping on his drink. I ignore him and shift further away because I didn't want to deal with shit. But it seemed like the further i moved, the closer he got. "What do you want?" I spit. "I noticed you've been dancing for quite awhile now and thought you'd might like some company." He says and i shake my head. "I'm good, thanks." I reject yet he places his hands on my hips. I try to move his hands off my hips but his grip was too strong on me.

I fake a smile due to my nervousness and not knowing how to react. I've done things with many guys back in high school before but they were always consented and whatever I didn't want to do, they would at least respectfully back away. But this time this guy was heavily intoxicated and i can tell from his breath because of how close he is to me. "I have a boyfriend." I say, hoping that he would back away. "I don't see him." He replies as he looks around. I stop dancing and froze, my body suddenly being unable to move. He grins and leans in to kiss me on the lips. As much as i wanted to defend myself and push him away, I couldn't. It was like my body stopped functioning and my brain didn't know what to do.

He finally pulled away from the kiss and walked away still grinning, i assume after getting what he wanted. I stood there in the middle of the dance floor, still not being able to move an inch and tears start rolling down my face uncontrollably. It felt like everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Ever since i started dating Shawn, i had never once thought of kissing another guy but here i am at this crazy party having a random guy kiss me forcefully.

Aaliyah and her friend finally comes back after what had seemed like a million years even though everything happened so quickly. "Are you okay?" Aaliyah rushes to me and hugs me. I'm still not able to respond as i process everything that had just happened. "Let's get out of here." She says, holding onto my hand and dragging me back into the car. Once i was settled in the car, i start crying into my hands even harder, being mad at myself for letting the man get what he wanted and not defending myself.

"What the hell happened?" Aaliyah asks in a concerning tone. "A-a guy kis-kissed me." I cry. She hugs me and i cry into her chest, feeling even more broken than the painting in the art gallery. She pats me on the head, and i slowly stopped crying. "I'm sorry, I never should've left you." She mutter. I pull away from the hug and buckle my seatbelt. "Let's just go home, please." I request and she nods, turning on the engine and driving off. I take my phone out of my pocket and try to turn it on but it was still dead. I lay back into the seat, feeling frustrated that there was nothing i could do. I close my eyes to erase all the shit from my memory, the only way i know of how to cope.