Altogether unusual

Safe place

'Hannibal Lecter: I've no plans to call on you, Clarice. The world is more interesting with you in it.'

THEN

My parents met while they were backpacking through Europe. Yeah, I know. Before Sunrise made it a cliché. But that's the way it happened. My mother was 18, my father 24. Both passionate about traveling the world. They wanted to see everything. My mother was a computer programming lunatic, fan of the new thing that internet was at that time. My father was to take a job in the diplomatic Corps. They found each other by the Hannibal Lecter / Sir Anthony Hopkins wax figure, in Amsterdam. Romantic creeps! And yes, of course Jonathan is right about the lambs. I was named after Clarice Sterling, just that my parents chose another literal form of the name.

So my father was all charming, my mother was all willing be charmed and they finished by continuing that "backpacking" together. They fell in love like it is close to impossible to do these days, and the next thing they did when they reached Ireland was to get married. My mother is from New Zeeland, so they had to do two weddings, for their parents' sake. They left immediately to Africa, where they spent year after year in a different country. I was born in South Africa. We travelled in America when I was four. I don't remember any of this of course, but I have a lot of photo albums to document my first years. I saw a lot of the world. I went to different types of schools. I even had private teachers when it was clear we were not to stay long in one place.

Even now, when he passed over his forties, you should hear my father talking about my mother. "She had thick blond hair. And the most amazing blue eyes. She was looking at the Hannibal Lecter wax figure, and I wanted to get married to her right there. On the spot. I was happy I didn't only when I saw her in the wedding dress. Such a princess. I wouldn't have wanted to lose that view. I still wonder how could that woman even look at little old me."

My mother, on the other hand, is keener on details, like women are usually. "I loved, from the first moment, the way he looked at everything like it was the most interesting thing in world. I could see knowledge pass through his eyes. I think I felt he turned his eyes on me before I actually saw it. I heard a little buzzing in my ears, and I was so happy all of the sudden, that I got scared a little. When I gathered the courage to look at him, our eyes just locked and I don't think we ever let go. He came near me and while we were standing in front of Lecter he said: "I love you." Just like that. As if it was a natural thing, an undeniable truth. We never split from that moment. We finished out tour though Europe. Then we went home and got married."

For Halloween last year, my mother and father dressed as John Travolta and Olivia Newton John in Grease. I presume they looked funny, but at a deeper level...Oh God! They could have chosen any other outfit, maybe not a teenage couple, but, believe it or not, there was no false note in them. They looked younger than me. I barely knew Jonathan at the time, but he had invited me to the school's Halloween party. So, while my mother looked hot in her black tights and my father was all muscly and vintage, I picked a Morticia long black dress (already worn a couple of times before). Jonathan said he would have expected something more innovative, but I didn't really bother about these things. He had his entire face painted as the Heath Ledger's Joker. Hot you say? You should have seen the women at the party. They all talked to him, ignoring me of course. It's true though he ignored them all. At a certain point I just had to make myself gone because the things they were saying to him were simply repulsive: "Oh, nice biceps" and" I can always smile for you if you promise to always make me scream!". I spent most of my night with Eve, because he was swamped. In women. Not even his obnoxious behaviour couldn't stop some of the girls, who clearly had a bottle of something in their little handbags. I remember asking Eve why isn't Jonathan just picking one of them. She told me then that he doesn't want anything to do with the girls in our school. Or any girl, for that matter. That he is a total weirdo about it, and that she never saw him dating. She suspected him to be a virgin, only interested in his career. That he couldn't be bothered with cheap things like relationships. His mind was too important to lose any precious time with the interminable requests of a girlfriend.

As you probably imagine my parents are kind of perfect. They orbit around each other. Never off beat, never off track. And they fit together too. She is all blond, blue eyed, slim and fit like those models you only see on television. In such a degree that some of my most courageous colleagues told me over the years that she is the ultimate MILF. My father is the dream guy, tall and GI looking, a real gentleman. Yeah! The type who brings flowers "just because". He can turn our sad, desperate housewives neighbours into pudding, but his green grass coloured eyes are only for mother. I swear I never saw him looking towards another woman, leave aside making any comment, of any sort, about them.

My mother is in fact this geek trapped in a hot woman's body. She spends most of her time at home, creating software for companies all over the world, which sell quite expensive. She is professionally searched and hunted for this because she is some kind of a genius. My father's job is more of a secret, since he is a diplomat. But as far as I can tell he is good at what he does, wanted in many places, which made us move so often over the years.

I am aware that all of this seems a fairy-tale, but what can I say? It is hard even for me to believe it, and I live with them. I see that every day. Rest assured, they have their little fights, small insignificant misunderstandings, but they never go to bed upset. And it's never something of big consequence.

Having such gentle and sweet parents makes it hard for people to understand where I come from. To be fair, I always suspected to be adopted. Or mistakenly exchanged at the hospital. Not that my parents were not wild, listening to the best of the best live: Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Eagles. Really, the great ones. Kind of all my sound Gods. So my choice of music was not such a big surprise. Of course I listen to hard things too, less melodious maybe, but still rock'n'roll. And the resemblance ends there. You can see my parents in some of the lines on my face, but seriously now, such dark hair and horror movies eyes? That's right down unfit. And they are such pleasant people. Popular and sociable and....I guess you get the drift. Also my parents were never into this powerful visual thing I've got going on. I am not sure they understand the tattoos, but they sure support me in everything I do. Even if I wanted my first tattoo at 14, and kept going from there, they never tried to push me in a different direction.

They always say they did everything in their powers to be able to make their own choices when they were young. There were a lot of people just advising them not to get married so young, not to live this scattered life, to go on and study more because they might be sorry later and similar stuff, but somehow they managed to get passed through everything. They trust me to make my own decisions.

My home is my quiet place. My safe place.