Family, Love, And Friendship

Painful Secrets

The next 3 weeks I did as I promised and walked Kei to and from the classes we didn’t share.  Which as a result constantly caused me to be late. My teachers were very upset, which was  understandable. They decided to have a meeting with me and my parents. “Mr and Mrs. Luno, what is going on at home? your son has been consistently late for 3 weeks now, and only to our classes?” “I’m very sorry, but everything is fine at home, and even we don’t know the reason for this new behavior” “well why don’t we find out now shall we?” “Sion?” I wanted so badly to just tell them everything, but I’d promised Kei I’d keep it secret, what do I do? if I lie they will catch it no matter what I say, Kei has already lost so much, and he even said he was scared to lose  me, not just because of the accident, but because of what that older kid did to him. “I.. I can’t say  the reason why, because it will badly hurt someone close to me, someone who even told me they  were scared to lose me, if I say why, they... they will get seriously hurt, and we’ll lose each other”  “who son? tell us and we can protect them”, “NO YOU CAN’T!!!, they got hurt where they were  supposed to be safe and protected in the 1st place”. I stood up and turned my back to them, as I  said that I hugged myself, trying to keep calm, tears forming in my eyes as Kei’s face when he told me came to mind, he’s suffering so much in silence, and I can’t help him more than I already have.  Now I’m in trouble, and we might be separated, he’ll get hurt again by that older kid if I’m not there, I can’t risk that. I just can’t, not Kei. My father comes over and places his hand on  my shoulder, before pulling me into his arms “who Sion? who is this other person?” “I TOLD  YOU I CAN’T SAY!!!”. The tears overflowed from my eyes, as I pushed my own father away, and ran out of the room. I ran to where Kei was supposed to be, but when he wasn’t there I started to panic. My gut screamed that he was hurt, but where? That's when him telling me about what happened, and where came to mind. I rushed to that bathroom as fast as my feet would carry me. When I got to the door I heard Kei scream “NO!!!, STOP!!! I SAID STOP,!!! STOP IT!!!, YOU’RE HURTING ME!!!,  STOP!!!!!” He sounded so terrified. I rushed in to find that very older student on top of Kei, his pants down, then I snapped, I lost control of myself and I charged at him, and leaped from the ground, full force my whole body into him knocking him off Kei and into the brick wall. He hit his head and was heavily dazed, but I couldn’t stop. I started beating on him punch after punch until his face was so bloody you couldn’t see any skin not covered in blood. I only stopped because Kei screams for me to stop finally got through, “SION STOP! SION!, SION!, SION!!, STOP!!! he got up and tried to pull me off at 1st, but I pushed him away into the side of the stall, he tried again this time he wrapped his arms around me, and begged me to stop while in tears, “Sion stop, please Sion, stop” that’s when I came back to my senses and stopped, realizing what I’d done “Kei I.. I’m sorry” he just looked at me with pain in his eyes, my hands were covered in blood from beating the older student. When I looked back at him he was out cold, I looked down at my hands which were trembling from the adrenaline and from fear. Why did I do that? How could I go so crazy? Kei just cried when I looked at him, his eyes had gone from pain to terror. He was scared of me, of what I’d done. A teacher who heard the screaming finally came in, and seen me standing there looking at my bloody hands then at the student I’d just brutally beaten, then at Kei, who was in tears, the only blood on him was from when I’d pushed him away. The teacher left and brought more help, 2 other teachers carried the older student away. I just stood there in shock at what I'd just done. “Kei leave!!” “but” “LEAVE!!!”. So he did, once he was gone I fell to my knees, hugged myself, and cried. Why was I reacting like this when it was Kei who’d been hurt, not me? The teacher who 1st found us came over as I cried, and put her hand on my shoulder. I guess she could tell there was more going on, than me beating a student in front of another who left crying. She later escorted me out and to the office with 3 other teachers. I felt numb at that point, and so very confused, Why did I snap like that? Why did I react that way when Kei was the one who’d been hurt? So many questions circled in my mind as I was escorted to the office, then to the principal in a separate conference room, my parents were already there, along with the other teachers, and 2 police officers. Kei wasn’t there though, he was likely to scared to be, what with the student attacking him, then the way I reacted and hurt him. I can’t blame him for not wanting to be here, my parents cried when I walked in, still covered in blood, I couldn’t make eye contact or even look at them after that, I felt so ashamed, they were clearly disappointed in me. I wanted to just scream it all out but I couldn’t. The lump in  my throat was far too big for me to speak. The cops took pictures of me, blood and all, I was then  escorted by 2 teachers to the nearby locker room, and to the shower, “wash up” “yes sir” I do as told, they give me some privacy, 1 of the teachers comes back with a towel and my clean set of  gym clothes, “Put these on” “yes sir” they then give me privacy again to get changed, when I finish I rejoin them, and as I’m escorted back. “um?” “what?” “where’s Kei is he ok?” “he’s fine, and with the nurse icing his injury that you inflicted” “I, oh ok” my bloody clothes had been put in a special bag the teachers had been given, they then handed that to the police officers when we got back to the room that felt like an interrogation room. “Sit down!” “yes sir” I do as told then the  police officers take over “why did you attack the older student?” I screamed at myself in my mind to speak, but nothing came out, my lips didn’t even move, “WHY DID YOU ATTACK THE  OLDER STUDENT?!!!!” my body jumped when I was yelled at, I tried to speak but it was if my lips were sealed with super glue. I clenched my pants with my hands, I kept trying to speak, but eventually it only came out as tears. That’s when there was a knock on the door, and then Kei came in holding an ice pack to his shoulder. I looked at him for a second, then looked away, he came over and whispered in my ear, “it’s ok you can tell them don’t sacrifice yourself anymore then you already have to protect me, it’s how we ended up in this situation in the 1st place, I don’t want to lose you, and unless the truth comes out now that’s what the reality will be” “are.. are you  sure? I don’t want to cause you more pain because you’re trying to protect me” “I’m sure, tell them... tell them everything” “ok” he then walked away and sat in a chair in the corner, after hearing him give me permission to finally let go of these painful secrets, the lump in my throat and the feeling of glue over my mouth went away, and I finally felt lighter, now that I could get  this weight off my shoulders, and not be trapped between hurting him and my own morals, I took a few deep breaths and looked at Kei once more, we made eye contact, and he nodded signaling that it was ok, and that he was ready for it to come out in the open, he gave me a gentle smile before breaking the eye contact, I took a few more deep breaths with my hand on my heart before starting.