Family, Love, And Friendship

Grief & Moving On

It’s been 2 months since Kei lost his big brother Al, and he’s still highly emotional to everything.  Which is understandable, everyone grieves differently, and for different periods of time. We already  had the funeral. Kei was and still is an emotional wreck. Because he is considered an orphan after  losing Al, my parents stepped up and adopted him, so now we are officially brothers. The judge said it was an easy decision since Kei had already been living with us for so long, and after hearing about what he’s been through, the judge said it would just be cruel to remove him from us, and place him in the system. As for me, and legal stuff, I got the 2 week school suspension, and got off with 3 weeks community service for beating the kid, since I did it to protect Kei from the older student, who has and was repeating the committing of crimes. His parents weren’t happy though, they actually tried to attack me, when we left the courtroom. They screamed insults and disgusting words at me, while trying to grab and beat me. But the security protected me from them, and they were arrested. Me and my parents were escorted out to our car. When we got home I  headed to the guest room, now formally known as Kei’s room, and check on him. “can I come in?”  “yeah” “how are you doing? you want to go out riding?” I’m alright, and yes” “alright let’s go” we head to the stables together and prep Lighting and Stardust. Once we finish we guide them out of the stables by the reins, then mount and take off. I’ve been trying to do this kind of stuff together more, in an attempt to help Kei grieve, in a healthy and safe way. The longer he stays in his room, the more depressed he gets, and I don’t want him to spiral downhill because of that, and hurt himself. So I’m trying to get him out with me doing things he enjoys as much as I possibly can. If he chooses to open up and talk, I simply listen and support. If I’m worried or unsure about what to do when something comes up I talk to my Parents and Ezrin. As much as I love my big sister Maiko, we just aren’t very close, and she’s always out with friends anyway. Ezrin, as outgoing as he is, prefers to stay at home and help out, rather than go out with friends. For as long as I can remember, he’s never been one to go and hangout with others, he’s always chosen to stay home and help out around our home, be that looking after me and my siblings, or helping mother and father with the chores. When we had financial issues a few years back, which were resolved only weeks before Kei and Al showed up. He got a job and gave every penny to our parents to help out. He’s the picture perfect son, clean and good looking, kind and respectful, willing to do anything to help care for the family, and others, perfect behavior and excellent grades. He even helped out Kei and his family when Kei’s mother fell ill. He helped do the house chores, and volunteered to look after Kei so their father could work. Al was constantly working as well, to help pay for the treatments, keep food on the table, and clothes on their backs. That’s just the way things are, the Eldest son is responsible for helping with everything, and caring for his parents and siblings when needed, family and school are the only things that matter, once all of those responsibilities are met then, and only then, can the Eldest son allow himself the time for friends, and a social life. Al and Ezrin were very close as they were both the Eldest sons of their families, so it wasn’t at all surprising when Ezrin decided to help out. It is because of his kind heart, which makes him easy to talk to, and go to for help, if I need advice or support for me or Kei. He’s only 16 and yet he’s perfect in the eyes of others. Maiko is 15 and Al was 21, while I do miss Al, I never knew him well, so it doesn't hurt me as much directly, it’s more through Kei and Ezrin that I feel the loss. For Kei he lost his only brother, but for Ezrin he lost his best friend and role model. Al had a huge impact on Ezrin growing up, whenever Ezrin was struggling or needing help, Al was there to keep him on track and out of trouble, he even tutored him in martial arts, and in school when Ezrin was struggling. So Al was here a lot, when I was little Al was so much older than Ezrin so he felt like a giant scary stranger, which is why I avoided him as much as possible, aside from when necessary for Kei, but now I wish I’d gotten to know him better, for Kei’s sake. As we ride out to the meadow I glance over at Kei to see a small smile on his face, I smile in response, but while I was enjoying this moment, I had no idea of the suffering and destruction to come, in the next few days, weeks, and months and not for Kei, but for myself and Ezrin.