Lucilfer's lover (chrolloX fem reader)

ch:20

"I suppose it is true. You thought you could attone for your sins to this world by getting rid of us. By God your weak, worthless, useless, stupid child,when will you learn.

"I see you've gained strength and someone who loves you gave you that strengt, I wonder if we crush his head, would it all go away would you fall back on you knees like the worthless object you are.!" The voice of my mother whispers
"I can see his head on the wall his lifeless eyes staring at you as you say your final words." Her voice continues to surround me as she slowly walks around me stopping behind me and turning the chair covering my eyes.

"Oh goodness me. Looks like we can't crush his head or cut him up, because we already did." My mother turns my head showing my a wall from my child hood home, the wall was drooling blood and in the center of it was Chrollo's head lifeless as she had said he would look. I look away my eyes widened in our shock. They killed him all because I couldn't fight for him.

"Look what you did child. All because you couldn't save him,because your too weak to fight. All because you were to afraid, still worthless as ever even when using nen. Worthless, unless, idiotic child. Did you really think you could save him?" My mother's voice stays calm as she says these things to me before forcefully gripping my chin and making me look back at the wall at my Chrollo, who's dripping in the blood that was oozing from the wall every part of his beautiful face lifeless, left in a jaw open expression. All because I couldn't save him.

"This is your fault and it's all because you were to weak to save him."
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I wake up gasping for air. Sprouting myself up and re running what had just happened to me. The dream registered in my mind vividly. Everything that was said and everything I saw replaying in my mind.

"Chrollo." I whisper remembering what the dream had done to him as I look to my side seeing him there calmly resting. His arms now holding the air instead of me after I jolted awake His body positioned sideways and his hair coving bits of his face,but he was still alive. I stare at him as a small smile spreads across my face before I leave the bed. Leaving to the kitchen to make myslef some tea that would hopefully let me rest again from these horrible dreams.

As I made the tea nothing crossed my mind except the fact that I had been found,and not in a good way. The way I had been found was not by Chrollo it was by my family. They had found me after years or me running,it wasn't a good way to be found, but all I'm happy for is that they didn't know exactly where I was. But it seemed apparent that I had never run from them that they were always what hung from a safe distance, I had a gut wrenching feeling that they knew about Chrollo, and they certainly knew that he was weak currently. I felt my finger tips heat up almost burn before looking down at my hands.

"Ahh! Shit!" I queitly screamed realizing that I had touched the teapot with my fingers while pondering leaving me to burn my fingers on it.

Was I really so lost in thought I couldn't feel the pain till I was aware again ?

It was the obvious answer of yes. Yes I was to lost in my own thoughts and my own plan process to realize that I was injuring myslef. Looking down at my finger they're bright red nothing to severe, just something slightly painful. As I laced my fingers tofther on the counter trying to not feel the burn or the pain from the burns,and yes it may just be a slight pain,but it was a slight pain that turned into something that felt like needles being pushed through skin. As I sat all I could do was merely think again getting lost in thought.