When the Girl Gives Up

She won't reply your message as quickly anymore

3. She won't reply your message as quickly anymore.

I actually saved my money now that I'm not loading. I always got the load before. I even am the one who'll call him at night if he doesn't have extra load for calling. I loved him that much ha! I valued the relationship we had. But now? Never mind.

I received 15 messages. All from one person. All from John. All from my ex-boyfriend. Oh sweet!

John: 1. Baby? 😢
2. Please? Let's talk.
3. I'm begging. Please. I miss you so much.
4. I won't do the same thing again. I promise.
5. Babe, please. 😥😢😥😢
6-15. (Just the same text from messages 1-5.)

I deleted all the messages. Then he tried to call me. I didn't answer. Let's see what will happen. Tsk. He should have sent those messages to Mich the witch! Haha. Sounds cool.

1 message received
John

Babe, if you'll not come back to me, I think I should end my life now. I can't take the pain anymore. I only wanted you. I wanted you to understand why I'm like this. It's hard that we are in a long distance relationship. I just can't take to text you and long for you. I better be dead than not having you. Thanks for everything. For showing me my real side. For being there when I needed you. I know this is my fault. I'm so sorry. Please remember that I love you. ILoveYou up until my last breath.

I wanted to reply with that. I wanted to scream. I wanted to slap him. That's always his way. I'm done with that. Ugh! But because my conscience is killing me, I replied. At least not that quick, right?

Me: Hey John! WTF are you doing? You're insane, aren't you? Face the problem! Not that you'll leave it like that. You can actually be happy with Mitch. I understand if you're together now and I don't care.

John: No. We're not together. It's just her drama. I called her that night to make you jealous. I thought you'll fight for me. I thought that she could help me.

Me: Ok then. I don't need some explaining, you know. First of, we're off. I want you to deal with that. Second, I want you to grow up. Don't be so silly. You're such an immature man. You're in your 20's. If you want to die, let God decide when. Not that you're killing yourself.

John: What's the point of living if my life sucks? You're my happiness. I love you. You know that. Please be back and I promise that I'll be yours forever.

Me: John, there's no forever in us. Besides, I wanna lose up. You too need it. Live a life now. Let's not let ourselves stuck on this. Think of your family. Just think about them. Don't give up your life to Satan. Gosh, you're a very religious man. How come you're thinking of suicide?

John: Because I want you to love me again. I want to win you back.

Me: There's no us anymore John. Face that fact. If you're not thinking of yourself, at least think of your family. Thanks. I'll sleep now.

*end*

I had enough emotions used today. Gosh! I'm angry at him. I don't know what he has eaten to think like that. I just hate guys who are suicidal type. He did that before and I got scared. I even gave him chances because he'll do the thing. Well, that's what he said. I don't want him to ruin his life just because of me. It felt pathetic.

The day after that night, he said he'll go to his friend's house. As if I care. Haha
He asked for my permission. I didn't reply. What has gotten into him? He's acting as if nothing happens between us. As if we're still on. And I so hate it. I hate it because of the fact that I might not stand my ground. That I might give him another chance. That I can be weak again. I so hate that! I won't let that ever happen again. Not now. Not ever.

At night he said, he'll drink with his friends.

Still, I didn't reply.

1message
John

Babe, I'll call. Please answer.

A minute after that, he called.

John: baby. Please forgive me.

Me: You're forgiven already.

John: Really? gosh, thanks -----

Me: (I didn't let him finish his sentence) yes, you are forgiven already. We can still be friends, you know. I'm just here. So, stop drinking. Go home. Your parents were asking me where the heck you are.

John: Please no. Don't do this.

Me: Stop it! It's final. Bye.

*end*

After that call, I received another call from his mom.

I just told them that i don't know where he is. Just that I don't wanna talk about him for now. It's tiring and irritating at the same time.

1message received
John

Xufgskndihgxjsnckjcsvkndc

Ok. So how would I understand that???? Ugh!

John. Calling....

Me: WTF! What do you want?

Sean: Hey, it's Sean. Can you come here?

Me: Wow. In the middle of the night? I'm a girl for Pete's sake.

Sean: Sorry. It's just that we can't handle him anymore. He cried a lot. He kept on talking about you and him. I think you'll help him with this.

Me: We talked about this already. Tell him to go to hell. I told him already to stop drinking and go home!

Sean: Please. Just now. He's really drank.

Me: Don't care. Bye.

*end*

I have this strong feeling that they're tricking on me. What? To prove that I'm still into him. Go fuck themselves! I just so hate it! I won't be affected. Not now. Maybe if this happens before, I'll go directly there, give him a big hug, kiss him even in front of his friends and tell him to stop it and we'll go home together. But it's different now. Big difference.

I received text messages from him that morning when he woke up. I still didn't give it a fuck. I just ignored it. I have to do this for myself. That's what I'm thinking.