When the Girl Gives Up

She realizes that she deserves better

She will give up on trying to make you love her because she finally realizes that she deserves better. 😊
-------
I can't deny the fact that I'm still waiting for him to really show up and prove to me that he still is into me.

But that thing never happened.

He doesn't know what efforts mean.

And unfortunately, he lacks that.

Effort.

Just a five letter-word that means so much to me. Girls, don't deny that. 😊

In this part of my moving forward, I finally stopped.

I stopped waiting for that to come.

I stopped remembering all the happy memories we shared before.

I stopped telling myself that everything will come out to be better just like before.

I stopped fooling myself that I'll be better.

I wasn't even good. How come I'll be better?

I kept on pretending. That's what I know.

And now, I wanna make it a try.

To make everything works out.

I wanna try to make myself happy. The real and pure happiness. And I think I'm on that way. I'm going that way.

Justine calling....

I didn't answer his call.
I need to do the thinking.
I need to know if he's really into me.
I need to know the truth.

I'm afraid I'll fall to the wrong person again.

I'm afraid to be played by love games again.

I'm over it. I'm done with it.

Enough is just enough.

I need to be myself again. I need me to feel everything.

I don't wanna rush things. But I'm not also closing the door of opportunities for him.

Now, I just wanna be me. I, myself, alone.

I went to my favorite place in the world.
Church.

I prayed. I did it with a sincere heart.
I asked for a sign.
I asked for forgiveness.
I asked for guidance.
I asked for that acceptance on my heart.

Acceptance that things between John and I need to come to an end.

Acceptance that there will never be us again.

Acceptance that even I sacrificed a lot for him and our relationship, I'll still find forgiveness in my heart.

Acceptance that God is done with our story.

Acceptance that God is offering another chapter of my life.

All I wanted is a heart without any hard feelings.
I wanted acceptance.

That's the key to happiness, I guess.

After kneeling and praying to Him that time, I went out and I decided to enjoy myself on seeing beautiful creations of God.

I missed looking at the absolutely amazing part of my everyday living, this life that God gave me. My family, my friends, my very own life.

I watched movie all by myself.

I dragged my feet to things I didn't do before.

It's not that I'm doing this because I'm dying. It's just that I want to be free from all the hatred.