The Difference Between Truths And Lies (Previously Love Yourself)

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*3 Years Later*

Nightmares still haunted Lex at night. Fred's death stayed with her, and leaving Draco didn't help. But she didn't regret any of her decisions. She always thought about what she did after the battle of Hogwarts.

She had apported to the Malfoy Manor after the war and looked for Draco. He was sitting in the kitchen, staring off.

She had sat across from him and said everything she had never said before.

"I love you, Draco, but I can't be with you. I never admitted to this before, not even to myself. We don't work out Draco. You were an asshole to me, and I know you've changed, but you can never take all of the shit you did back. I have to put myself first. I'll always love you, but not in the way you want me to. I'm so, so sorry."

She was crying by the end, but it had to be done. He was also crying, but he understood; he fucked up, and he lost her. She didn't want him anymore.

He let her walk away. He hid his pain and let her leave. Later he found out that she snapped her wand and went to live in the muggle world. He never heard from her again, and he didn't try. If she didn't want to be found, he wouldn't push it.

Draco kept loving Lex. His early 20's consisted of firewhiskey. After that the years blurred together with the drugs. Lucius was in azkaban and Draco never visited. Narcissa tried to help Draco at first but gave up.

Narcissa moved to an apartment and taught the dark arts at Hogwarts once the world recovered enough to build everything back up.

Narcissa divorced Lucius and was now called Ms. Black at the school. She mourned her sister, but wouldn't defend her actions. Bellatrix was a monster, Narcissa knew that, but she still lost a sister.

Lex got a muggle job in the city. She learnt how to drive and bought a car. She got a phone, practiced muggle ways, and never thought about going back to the wizardly world.

So much trauma and pain were reminders when she thought of Draco and everything else. Lex never fell in love again. She had options, but she closed herself off.

Now, 3 years later, she was driving home. She felt at peace now, she felt safe. Safe from magic, and emotional connections.

She didn't see the car heading towards her at 80 miles  per hour until it was too late.

***

Draco was lazily watching the news when her face was the majority of the screen. New pain rose and smothered him as he realized he never forgot a single detail about her face. His face slowly fell in horror as he saw the whole screen.

Lex, his Lex. His Lex that left him was dead.

Dead.

Narcissa came back to the Manor as soon as she heard. She took in the empty bottles, the coke lines on the tables. The messes and dishes and overall dirtiness of her once beautiful house. She went straight to her son and held him.

This time, he finally let her help him.

Lex's POV

I'm dead. I know that I've died. There's no white light. But I hear voices. Whispers.

Fred.

"Come on. Come to me, Lex. Just let go."

She lets her mind run free and she sees him; she sees Fred. Not in a nightmare, not in her memory while she cried for him, while she screamed at the world to give her her best friend back. She was really seeing him. She went to him and let herself feel again.

Lex was happy.