All I Ever Wanted: Bokuto X Black Chubby Reader

ch.16:take me back to the night we meet

"Ko smile for the camera, give the people what they want." She was perfect, her smile so bright ,her eyes so soft I could get lost in them. *beep beep beep. I hear the sounds of my alarm going off. I quickly turn it off not wanting to wake y/n. I carefully get up walking to the bathroom. That dream again, the dream of us in high school. Her smile was so warm back then. I always have the same dream,an old memory of me and y/n in high school her smiling and laughing , and then everything goes dark. The next thing I see is her bloody body laying there. While tears run down her face. Today was better tho , I didn't finish the dream so it was just full of her happy again. That being said last light was a nightmare itself. She kept waking up having panic attacks, crying and sweating. It took her around 10 mins to go back to sleep, half of that time was spent with her in my arms sobbing and shaking. I hated it. I hated seeing her like this. It was 6 am I had practice in an hour. I showered and got ready quietly so she could finally sleep. I didn't want to leave her alone. I was worried that she would have another nightmare. I just had to hope for the best. I left her a note and left for practice. " damn bokuto you look like shit "atsumu said . " not today sumu." Omi said hitting the back of his head. "You didn't have to come in today bokuto." The coach looked at me concerned. " no its fine I needed to get out the house anyways. "

Y/n pov
I groan as I get out of bed , my head was pounding. I turn over to see bokutos gone. I look at the clock seeing its already 2pm, he must have left for practice. I see a note on the dresser. As I read it , tears flow down my cheeks.

To y/n:
I hope you slept well and didn't have anymore nightmares. And if you did I'm sorry I couldn't be there to hold you. I miss you so much. Even tho your back , I'm glad your awake but it wasn't exactly the Reunion I planned. I wish I could Hold you again as the women who loved me back. Even though a months seems like a short time. It feels like I haven't felt your loving touch in years , and I miss it. So I've decided even if you don't remember me, or all our memories in a month. I'll wait for you. Whether it's 10 years or 50 I'll wait. I promise I won't love another women besides you. As long as it takes. And if you don't remember, I'll make you fall in love with me again and we'll make new memories. Whatever it takes. But for now I'll love you from a distance. Don't stay in the house all day I texted kenma and akaashi they should be over around 3. Be safe my love.

I felt like my heart had been shattered,but i couldn't understand why. Of course i loved bokuto , I have since my first year. From what akaashi told me he confessed at the end of our second year. But everything after my second year is a blur. I just remember graduating. I felt a tear hit my cheek. My heart remembered so why couldn't my brain. The way he held me last night, the way I melted in his touch. He was the only male I have ever been so comfortable with. I feel so safe when I'm in his arms. Every part of my body wants him. So why won't my mind let me have what I want. I sat at the edge of the bed sobbing, wanting the life the everyone said I had.

3rd pov
"Y/N" you heard akaashi scream as he ran up the stairs. "Y/n what's wrong." He sitting across from me on the bed. "I don't know what to do akaashi. I love him. I've always loved him. I can't remember. Why don't I remember." He reached over embracing you in his arms as you sobbed. " yea I know you do. And I know it hurts. Both of you are hurting so much. And I hate it. But you just have to give it time. Bokuto-san would never go anywhere. Or leave you." Kenma walked it the room with his hands full of snacks. He sits on the bed hugging you on the opposite side of akaashi. Kenma wasn't one to give physical affection , so when he did you knew you needed it. " I'm not good with words but if kurro suddenly forgot about us I would be upset. I would cry too. Your like bokutos your kurro, and you lost him. So im not gonna tell you it's gonna be Ok because we don't know if it will. All you can do is wait and hope for the best. Even if you don't remember I think you guys will be alright. I've never seen bokuto be more excited about anything not even volleyball. The was he talks about marrying you makes me feel like I'm around shoyo talking about volleyball. He speaks with pure joy. That won't go away just because a few memories were lost." He said what you needed to hear , but Quite frankly it was the truth. He didn't sugar coat anything for your sake. "Tell me about us.... please." You wanted to know everything your mind wouldn't let you understand. "When he proposed to you , he took you to Inazari carsala." Akaashi said grabbing a bag of chips. "Really that place is so hard to get reservations."
"He even got a private room." Kenma said with a mouth full of pocky. "One time he took you on a carnival date during our 3rd year. And you wanted this big owl plushie and he tried all night until he got for you. And then he got sad because he was too tall to ride the kiddie ride he wanted to go on." You burst into laughter."that does sound like ko." "He also fucked you in the Gucci store." "WEVE HAD SEX" akaashi almost spit out his drink. "Yup, you've had shower sex, sex on the bed, sex in the Gucci store, a threesome with sakusa." "Hold up . We're not gonna roll past that like you didn't just say that. " "if you don't belive us check the group chat . You do tell us everything." Akaashi laughed as kenma talked about your sex life so nonchalantly. The night was full of laughter. Akaashi and kenma did always know how to cheer you up. When they finally had to leave. You were alone again. But you decide not to dwell on it and shower.

Bokutos pov
Practice was long and hard , but it helped me take my mind off things. When I got home I didn't see kenma and akaashis car. So I assumed they left , I hope y/n was Ok by herself for awhile. When I walked in the house I didn't see her or hear her. "Y/n" I called through the house. I ran up stairs. "Ko?" I heard her call from the bathroom. "I'm sorry i took so long Practice ran over today. How was your day with akaashi and ken-" I stopped talking as she walked out the bathroom with just a bra and panties on. I felt terrible for getting turned on by her right now. I mean technically she doesn't remember all the things we did , it felt wrong to look at her. "Ko?" She questioned snapping me out of my thoughts." Sorry I'll wait in the hall " I turn away as I apologized. " it's fine apparently you've seen me before so." She laughed as she put on a shirt. " yea but I don't want to do anything to you like that while your like this." I felt tension in my pants. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I got hard already and she had just came home yesterday. I hadn't been touched for two months. I didn't even masterbate. " I'm not a child kotaro."
"I didn't mean it like that I'm sorry." "It's fine..... I got your note from earlier. And I'm on the same page even if I don't remember. I know I'll still want you. I mean I love you kotaro. I don't remember our carnival dates or our sex life. But I know I've loved you since that day at akaashis house during our first year. A few lost memories won't change that. " I looked up my eyes wide briming with tears. It had been so long since I heard her say she loved me. She walked over hugging me as I embraced her back. " I'm not there yet but give me some time ." " Of course my love . I'll wait as long as it takes."

✌🏾 hey guys hope you enjoyed. I feel like this is poorly written so love that for me 🥲🔫