Draw Your Swords - a wolfstar fanfiction

Chapter twelve

Remus was so confused about his feelings. They had been best friends for years now, but he had never felt anything like this before. Every time Sirius entered the room, his knees got weaker. His heartbeat rose into his chest only at the sight of him.

Ever since the day he surrendered to his empty thoughts, Remus had been distant. He didn't have anyone to talk to about this. Normally, when something was bothering him, he went to Sirius, but he was the last person he could talk to now. Though, Sirius wasn't the only thing on his mind.

'Remus.' Sirius snapped his fingers in front of Remus' face, 'Are you there?'

'Er- yes, sorry, what?'

'Tomorrow is the full moon again.' Said James.

'Yeah, I know.' Remus always got anxious around the time of the full moon. He had massive headaches and was constantly tired. He was extra nervous for his next episode. Every time his emotions took over his body, his transformation would be infected by that. And since his feelings were now stronger than ever, he was petrified of tomorrow's night.

He felt like he could punch anything that bothered him. He wanted to smash in the windows of the common room. Kick some first years who were overly loud. Just anything to relief his frustration.

'Are we gonna do it the same way as last month?' James asked, to which Remus nodded. He looked at the other's to hint if they were okay with it. They all agreed to proceed the same steps as last time.

'Are you okay, Moony?' Sirius asked with those big, bright, puppy eyes of him, he looked genuinely concerned. Remus had been avoiding him a little lately.

'Yeah... Just tired.' He said while faking him a reassuring smile.

'Alright, just... talk to me if you need it, okay?'

'Okay, thank you, Sirius.' Remus' heartbeat was raising, he had never been nervous around him before. But now, he couldn't even keep eye contact with him.

He felt things he'd never felt before around him, or perhaps he did feel them before. He recalled some memories of theirs, in most of those memories he had felt an unfamiliar feeling down his spine, but that feeling wasn't as unfamiliar anymore.

After their conversation about the upcoming night, Sirius got up and left. Remus followed his movements with admiration. His hair moved all different ways, while he slowly disappeared from his sight. 

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Remus had been waiting in the Shrieking Shack for hours now, he got crazier the more isolated he was. He didn't understand why his friends took so long to get there.

Remus' transformation was starting, and indeed more intense than normally. He growled and screamed more than ever. Releasing his frustration to himself, to his feelings. His eyes turned yellow as fast as hair appeared on his arms. He turned the back of his hand face wise and notice the dark brown hairs peel out of his skin. His nails getting longer and sharper.

He wanted it to stop, he needed it to stop. The pain was killing him. He hadn't screamed like this in a very long time. Since he couldn't go anywhere and needed to release his pain and anger, he started scratching and biting himself, which made him growl even more.

The sound of voices outside the old building distracted him from harming himself any more. But he couldn't hold back. He sprinted to the door and jumped against it, he was about to smash it, before the voices started to sound familiar.

'Remus.' One of the voices from the other side of the door sounded. His voice made him even more aggressive, he was the one who did this to him.

When Remus let out another groan, he heard their voices shiver and backing away from the door.