what if

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i sometimes wonder how different things would be
if my hair was cut shorter
if my nails were painted blue
if my voice was a little higher
if my eyes were a different color
if i received more praise
if my dad hugged me more
if my mom loved me less
if my brother stuck around
if my mind wasn't so anxious
if i didn't compare
if i tried a little harder
if i finally stopped crying

i sometimes wonder how different things would be
if my heart stopped beating

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