Black Plague

Chapter 23

The Dark Lord had been right, the patronus was impossible. I had been trying for weeks. My best result was a few thin wisps. Draco was getting close to having it down. I wanted to scream and have a meltdown, but that wasn't dignified for a budding Dark Lord.
"Does it have to be a real memory. Can it be a dream or something?" I asked exasperated
He scratched his stubbled chin. "Well Harry, you could try it." That just made me more angry. I had asked him time and again to call me Hadrian, but he refused to do it. I took some deep breathes and calmed back down. I scanned any dreams or daydreams I had, then it hit me. The mirror if Erised! I focused on the feeling of being loved. To have Snape hold me like he cherished me. To be wanted and appreciated. I focus on all the warmth I felt radiating off him and clung to all those feeling. "Expecto Patronum"
Suddenly a cloud of glowing white smoke came from my wand. Well, not really smoke, but it looked like it.
"There you go Harry, you almost have it. Try again!"
I did it again thinking about all the love and acceptance I felt while in Snape's arms. I pictures him telling me he loved me. "Expecto Patronum" then I watched as the smoke morphed into a panther and began prowling across the floor. I say panther because without color it was impossible to tell what kind. Probably either a jaguar or cheetah. I smiled at it. "Oh my god Hades! You did it! I knew you could! You can do anything!!" Draco exclaimed in excitement running to me and giving me an excited hug. I grinned as I watched my Patronus. "Thanks Draco. I was sure this was one spell I wouldn't be able to master."
"Nicely done Harry." Lupin said softly. "You know, when I was your age your father, and his friends learned to transform into their animagus. And they all matched their patronus, I wonder if your animagus would be a panther too?"
I looked up at him. "Really? Maybe I'll have to learn that as well" I said thoughtfully.
I had heard of animagus before, but never thought to try it. Maybe I should.  If it was a panther, it could come in handy. And part of me wanted to learn it, just so I wouldn't be outdone by my father and his friends.
Lupin went digging through his books until he found the one he wanted. "How to become an Animagus" I looked at it and then at Lupin. "Thank you"
I sat quietly reading through the book while Draco kept working on his patronus. I looked up from the book. "Draco. You have to take that memory and draw on all the love, and acceptance, and joy, and happiness and just bath yourself in it. Then say the spell."
Draco seemed to have a lightbulb moment. He closed his eyes and focused on the memory then opened them and yelled "expecto patronum" his wispy clouds turned into an animal, as I saw it I laughed, because of course. I expected a peacock. But no, it was a swan. Beautiful, like he was. But you get to close, and they bite. They're vicious little beasts. "You did awesome Draco.  Now let's learn our Animagus."
He nodded and we both thanked Lupin before walking away. I duplicated the book and handed it to him. He smiled and we went our separate ways.

I immediately sent a letter with a school owl asking for a handful of mandrake leaves, just in case I fuck up the first couple times, a silver teaspoon, a chrysalis of a Death’s-head Hawk Moth and a crystal phial. Then sent the money needed, and waited.

In the mean time, I continued on as normal. The mandrake leaves and all the other supplies came in the day before the full moon. I could start tomorrow. I wandered the school until I found Draco "hey Drake, do you need a mandrake leaf? I got some in the mail today."
He nodded. "Yes, I need one. My order hasn't come in yet." I handed him two. "Here. Are you nervous. It sounds like a million things could go wrong." He sighed. "Kinda, but if Wormtail was able to do it, anyone can" I laughed. "Isn't that the truth. And he was friends with my father, so he did it at our age."
He was shocked "Shit really!"
I nodded gravely. "Yep. He was the person who betrayed them to The Dark Lord. He was one of their closest friends. And they did everything together. Including this."
His eyes bugged. "You must hate him!" I shrugged. "Not really. You can't miss what you never had. But I am kinda annoyed that he's part of the reason I had to grow up with my "family". If he hadn't betrayed them, maybe at least one of them would have lived. But if it had been James, that would have brought in a whole bunch of new problems. Maybe I'm better off not knowing. He also framed my father. So I couldn't live with him. But they were all loyal to Dumbles, so who knows what my life would have been like. Basically, I'm just not sure it's worth getting angry over. Maybe my life would have sucked in different ways. Or they might have just handed me over to Dumbles to be his pawn. Especially if James realized I wasn't his son."
"Ya, I never thought of that."
I nodded. "I figure my life might not have been perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but it could be worse. I could die for a worthless cause."
Draco nodded. Probably uncomfortable with were this conversation lead.
"Anyway. Here's a couple leaves. I am sure you can do it. And if you are going to be a swan I expect a cool black one!". I winked and walked away.
"I can't control that!"  He yelled after me. I laughed. I turned around and walked backwards looking back at him. "Too bad, I expect you to try!" He laughed and we walked our separate ways.