Black Plague

Chapter 35

That next weekend Snape, Draco, and I left for Malfoy Manor. I dressed nicely in all black. But I decided to wear my slacks and a nice black robe. I knew after sparring with Voldemort there would be a death eater meeting. I stood against the wall where I always stood while everyone else kneeled. After everyone rised, Voldemort called me to stand by his thrown. As he always did. He now had the meetings in Malfoy's large ballroom. And he had a gold thrown on top of a dias. People were used to seeing me stand by him.
"Welcome my loyal follows. We have a number of new recruited who would like to join today". A long line formed as everyone took turns being marked. You would see a grimace on there faces as they braved taking the mark. From my understanding it was painful. It took quite a while but they all bowed proudly in front of us once they finished. One guy spent waves of anger through me for a moment until I reminded myself I didn't care. He had been the one to lay with Voldemort last weekend. I shrugged it off and relaxed into the coldness that had settled into my chest. If he wanted to move on and love someone else, more power to him. I refused to care anymore. I saw Voldemort look at me, but I remained steel faced and indifferent. I wouldn't show any frustration, and I definitely wouldn't allow hurt or pain. He had proven his point quite thoroughly. He didn't love me. And I wouldn't wallow in self pity over it. You live and learn.
Voldemort seeing my lack of reaction tried to goad me into reacting. "That's my new lover." I shrugged. "I know."
He raised an eyebrow at me. "You don't care?" I shook my head. "No, do what you want. You're a grown adult." I said emotionlessly.
He squeezed my hand tighter. "You don't love me anymore. I can feel it." I turned and looked at him. My face as hard as stone. "No. You made it clear you cared nothing for me. I will not love someone who cares so little about my wellbeing.  You knew how hurt I was by the last lover, and decided to mock my pain by having another one. I may not be as smart as you. But I am a quick learner. Clearly, you never loved me, or you would have done anything to make sure I was ok. You didn't care. You probably never did. And I won't allow myself to be hurt by you or anyone else again. Love is pain. You show me that. And I will never love again. I've had enough pain in my life, I won't actively leave myself open for more." My voice mirroring with the ice that filled my heart.
"Fuck" he whispered. I turned from him and watched the people in front of us again. Pulling my hand away from him.
There were hundreds of follows now. In the last month we had probably quadrupled in size. There had to be almost a thousand people here.
Voldemort made another nice speech about his vision for our world and people swooned over him. Finally someone grew enough confidence to asked about me. This happened every couple weeks. "Hades will become my equal and co-rule by the end of the years. He has entered the tournament as a test made by me to prove he is worthy and ready to rule by my side. I have no doubt in his success. When that happens he will also be your Lord. Dark Lord Hades. If you do not trust my judgement come by any weekend while we train and see for yourself his power and knowledge. If any of you want to challenge him. Feel free, but be warned he is merciless and you may not live to see another day. He is much colder than even I am, and he will happily destroy you."  This was the first time he had said such a thing. And while it may have not been true a few weeks ago. For I had loved deeply once you got past my defenses, it was no doubt true now. I was just waiting for a change to kill someone. My rage burning barely below the surface.
I raised an eyebrow and waited for anyone to challenge me.
Eventually some poor arrogant soul stepped forward wanting to test my power. I smirked evilly looking forward to killing him. People scurried our of the way as I stepped forward and got into a dueling stance. I bowed and started silently throwing spells at him. Never once did he even have a chance to send one spell at me. It only took five deadly spells to bring him to his knees, then I threw fiendfyre at him and watched emotionlessly as he became nothing more than ash. I scorgified the floor, leaving it spotless and silently walked back up next to Voldemort. Not showing a ounce of emotion or remorse.
"As I said, Hades is ruthless. It would be wise never to cross him. He doesn't even bow to me. He serves nobody. But he is a great asset to our side and he will be your Lord by the end of the year. After he completes his test to prove he's worthy of the title. Which I am sure you now see, he will pass without any struggle."
"If your so powerful why don't you just kill Dumbledore?" I stepped forward. "I could kill him tomorrow if it was desired. I even have a plan set. But if word got out that I killed him, he would become a martyr, and it would likely unify the light." I tilted my head. "Though his followers are blind sheep only doing what he tells them. Never thinking for themselves. So maybe they would dissapate and go there separate ways. Really, it's up to The Dark Lord what he wants to do, not me and definitely not you." I said giving the guy a stern look then stepping back. He shivered at the look and shrunk back into the crowd.

After that, the air was thick. I wouldn't say fear, but healthy caution. Voldemort dismissed them soon after and he turned to me. "You have planned Dumbledore's death". I nodded. "Of course."
H scratched his chin. "And you could have it done by the end of the week. "I nodded again. "Yes."
"If you do so, I will name you Lord and you can rule along side me. As long as nobody sees you." I shrugged. "okay" he furrowed his brow. "You don't want to be Lord." It wasn't a question. He could feel my indifference.I shrugged. "I loved the idea of ruling along side you, when I saw you as a potential lover. My soulmate. My other half. Now I look at you and only feel pain. I see no point in ruling with you. You will do just fine without me." I said emotionlessly.  "I would be just as happy, maybe happier if I just left this place. Leaving all my pain and suffering behind. No more Dumbledore, no more light or dark, no more family, no more you. I dream of nothing but leaving you all behind. You are wise. I am sure you can manage without me." My voice cold with unshed fury. "As soon as this competition is over, I'd very much like to leave.."
Voldemort groaned in frustration. "Fuck Hades come here." I just looked at him, not moving a muscle. "Please" he said softly. I walked to him and he pulled me on his lap. I stiffened and he released me. But I reluctantly stayed put. He turned my face to him. "I'm sorry" I shrugged. "It's what people do." I said evenly. His eye were pleading for me to forgive him but I felt nothing. My heart had frozen over and I refused to melt at a couple nice words.
"You're right. I did know how hurt you were." I nodded. "But I thought after a few times you would get used to it. I waited at the house hoping you would come by and grab him or confront me. Fight for us." I shrugged. And looked at him.
"Why would I fight for you, when the love is one side. Oh, I know you love me. I feel it. But I loved you with a depths beyond the ocean. I loved you more than the expanse of the stars. I loved you with everything I had. I would have sacrificed everything to have you. But your love is the depth of a puddle. There is no substance to your love. When you fucked Christina you never once thought of me. You didn't care how my heart broke. You never hesitated despite my shattered soul. I know you could feel it, because I felt it so strongly that I was sure I would die. Yet you never paused. I can read you thoughts and emotions as though they are my own. And you didn't care. All week I hoped you would love me enough to come to me, call to me. Yet, you only cared about yourself. Your love is meaningless. Even though I am your very soul, you care not about me. Only your own pleasure, your own power, your own life. I am not even an afterthought. Why would I ever love you again, when you can so easily sacrifice my happiness for momentary pleasure. No. I will never love you again. I will never trust you again. And I have no desire to stand by your side ruling the world with you. You can keep the world, I want nothing to do with you or it. You've made it abundantly clear how much you value me. And I can say with certainty, it's not at all. I would have done anything for you. But I also have too much dignity to settle for nothing in return. So I am walk away." I said. My voice hard and unyielding. "I will kill Dumbledore, give you the Wizarding world, and I will win this tournament. Then I am leaving. There is nothing left for me here."

Voldemort clung to me. "Please. Reconsider!" I shook my head. "No. You only want me when I'm in front of you. You're attracted to shiny things. And lose interest when you no longer see them. You love me while I'm here. But forget about me when I'm gone. You and I both know you barely spared me a thought in the last two weeks. I'm not going to ever open my heart up to you again. You can't be trusted with it. Your treated my heart carelessly. And I won't put my life in your hands again, knowing I'm an afterthought. Don't deny it, you know it's true. As soon as I leave Sunday, you will find some other pretty thing interesting and completely forget you ever loved me. When I leave, you will think of me at best as a passing thought. You'll be just fine."

"That's not true!" He denied but his words lacked conviction. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he sighed.
"Maybe your right. I want you mostly when I'm standing with you. I think it's because I am attracted to your power. And it radiates off you. And when you're near, our souls call to each other. But I do want you to stay." I shook my head. "I can't. Looking at you makes me feel sick. Mostly, at myself for ever loving you." I spit venomously. "I should have known you could never truly love me. But I felt your emotions and let myself become careless and hope for love. Never again." I stood to stalked off.
He grabbed me and pulled me back.
"Hades" he said quietly.
"I know I hurt you. I know I took your love for granted. Please. Give me a second chance. And if you can't do that. At least reconsider leaving entirely." I fought to keep my heart hard. I would not bend. I could feel the sincerity in his heart. But I knew where this lead. And I couldn't go down this path again. I just couldn't. He kissed the talk of my head and I got up and left.