Soundtrack Series

FOUR - Stockholm Syndrome

Harry: She can’t tell your mind is somewhere else, can she? She probably doesn’t care either way. You hover over her, thrusting in and out, but you couldn’t be further from the intimacy. Your mind is wondering away from the girl underneath you and over to the one a thousand miles away, wondering how she is. You were so stupid to let her just walk out of the house like that. She didn’t deserve to feel that way. You had lost her now; she was gone. One of the only people that had actually been there for you, and you had just let her walk away. A strong tug in your hair brings you back, and you focus in on the girl below you. She had put you through so much hell, and despite the face you put on for everyone else, you were well aware of that. Of course you had gone back to her, you always did. She was a constant in your life, a chaotic constant, but one nonetheless. She runs her hands through your hair, her moans growing louder, and you push yourself to quicken the pace. “Yeah, that’s it baby,” she breathlessly urges. You want to tell her not to talk to you like that. You want no part of this. But if that’s the case then why did you bring her on the road with you? You were sure (y/n) knew about her traveling with you by now. You hated yourself for doing this to her. Why couldn’t you just let this relationship go? There is nothing here for you. How many times has that been made clear? A sharp pain trails along your back and you shoot a glare below you. She was marking what she thought was hers. You had repeatedly told her to stop leaving marks along your back. She smirks, knowing exactly what she had done. “You just feel so good baby,” she moans, lifting up to kiss you. You kiss her back and push to finish faster. Her moans turn to screams as she lets everyone in the surrounding rooms know the hold she has on you. You immediately get out of the bed. Now that that is over you need to get out. Despite her protests to lay back down with her, you redress and exit the hotel room. She isn’t going to follow you, you know that much. You take the lift down to the lobby of the hotel. You smile at the hotel staff behind the front desk as you walk through the brightly lit space only to step straight into the darkness of the night. The city police had cleared the fans from the hotel so you were fine to sit on the steps to think, exactly what you need to do. You pull your phone out of your jacket pocket, the light from the screen illuminating your face. Your thumb unlocks it and immediately open your contacts. You should call her. Have a conversation with her, any kind of conversation with her. You need to know she’s alright. You understand her feelings are hurt, you had done a terrible thing by not fighting for her, not standing up for her. She should have never been the one to leave and go back home. She should still be in London waiting on you to get back to her. You don’t treat your friends like this. Yet this is what she puts up with from you on the regular. You put her through so much, yet she’s the one who always apologizes because she can never stand to see you hurt. Why can’t you be like that? You stare at her name. Will she even answer? How angry will she be when she sees your name come up on her phone? There’s only one way to find out. You select her name and hold the phone up to your ear. “Come on,” you say softly as the rings begin. As more rings come your heart begins to sink, she isn’t going to answer. You pull the phone away from your ear but the rings stop. “Hello?” A sleepy voice answers on the other end. Relief washes over you. She did answer.

Liam: It’s official, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Or is there? Word had gotten back to you about her and Mark making things official only a day ago, and you were already driving yourself mad with ways to stop it. You hadn’t gone back home on your break for a reason. You didn’t want to be around him. You didn’t want to create any sort of situation where you would have to be introduced to him. He was nothing to you, and that’s the way you wanted things to stay. You had tried over and over to get her to see how much things between you and her were changing, but she wasn’t having any of it. She had professed on so many occasions that the two of you would still have the same relationship you have always had. Well that is bullshit. Things have already changed, and you weren’t liking any of it. You sit in the hotel room, alone. Not how you usually spend a day off in a new city, but you couldn’t find any reason to leave. The boys had asked you numerous times to come out with them but you refused. You just wanted to be left here to think. Think about how you were going to go about finally getting Mark out of the picture. You were sure a lot of people would think you were being way too overdramatic and over analyzing the situation way too much. You could care less. They don’t know what the two of you had and now what you don’t have since Mark stepped in the picture. It was time for him to go. Yes, of course, you are jealous. Is it your fault that she hasn’t caught onto that? No. You have been very vocal about your thoughts towards her choices, yet she still continues to make them. The two of you have been in each other’s lives for as long as you can remember, but not once did anything like this ever come up. This is on you, and you know it. You’re just protecting her. No one else knows her like you do, no one else deserves to. You’re sure if anyone could hear your thoughts right now they would be rolling their eyes and calling you pitiful. Let them do it, you don’t care. You weren’t ever going to give Mark a chance. Or maybe you were. She keeps saying that you haven’t even given him a chance yet. Maybe that is your way in. If she sees that you’ve lightened up and decided to actually see what Mark is made of, you will have more say when it comes time to tell her that things aren’t working out. It makes perfect sense to you. A smile spreads across your face as you think of the outcome of your plan. There was no way Mark would be staying around longer than needed. But right now you need to play nice. You grab your phone from the bedside table and call her, only one question in mind. “Hello,” she answers, you can feel the slight confusion in her tone. “Hey, can you give me Mark’s number?” “What?” Now she was really confused. “Yeah, I know. I don’t know why I’m asking either. You keeping saying I’m not giving him a chance, so I guess now is as good of a time as ever.” More confusion comes as silence falls on her end. Your smile grows. “So you want his number?” “Yeah, to talk and to get to know him. I’m not exactly going to be around to meet him for a while so I might as well get my foot in the door, even if that’s just through a phone call.” Your tone was genuine and you were pleased with yourself. “Okay, yeah, I’ll text it to you.” “Thanks love, I hope you’re doing alright. I’m sorry about all of this drama. I’ve been a real twat.” “No, no. It’s fine.” Was it really? Had she forgiven you that easily? “Well I just wanted to say sorry anyways.” “Yeah, it’s alright. Shit happens, you know. We’re always going to be friends no matter what.” “Agreed.” Now, to see if she will actually stand by those words.