We belong together

Chapter 100

Tessa's POV

I look at our doctor and I can't see what's wrong. I bet my heartrate is too big because this silence is killing me.

Dr. Robbins: "I'm really sorry, but I can't find the heartbeat... And I'm sorry to announce you that you are having a miscarriage. I have this doubt since I saw your HCG level... It's low and this is a sign of miscarriage. I'm so sorry for your loss." I try to not cry, I'm trying to hard to stay calm.

Hardin: "Miscarriage?" He says with a low voice.

Dr. Robbins: "Sadly, yes... I will give you a pill which will help you to take out everything. And I will keep you under observation until tomorrow afternoon. There will be a bleeding and I want to have it under control. I know it's hard, but this is the life."

Hardin: "And..." He makes a pause. "What are the causes?"

Dr. Robbins: "There are not some specific causes... It can be a natural cause, but as she has a short cervix, this can be one of the causes. But you are young and you have all life to have kids. I know it hurts, but we can do anything to stop this. It's a natural process of life." She gives me some tissues to wipe the gel. "I'm going to call the nurse to move you to a room and then I'm coming there, ok?"

I nod. We can't do anything... I lost the baby... I try to stay calm. A few moments later, a nurse comes with a wheelchair and she took me to a room and he let me and Hardin alone.

"I'm sorry." I manage to whisper before I start to cry.

"Shh, it's ok baby." He kisses my forehead. "It's not your fault." He wipes me tears. "It's not your fault, Tess. It was meant to me, ok? We are young and we still can have kids... Maybe it's a sign that now we are not prepared for this."

"But it's my fault, Hardin! I lost the baby because of my problems, because of stress..."

"No! It's not your fault! Stop blaming yourself, Tess. If you want a baby now, after we get married, we can try again." He looks deep into my eyes. I don't want this... And I can't lie him.

"I don't want a kid anymore... At least, not now." He wipes my tears. "But don't be mad... I'm not ready for this."

"Babe, I'm not mad. How I could be mad at you, love?"

"I want to do what I want in my career Hardin."

"I want the same. The baby can wait, then..."

"Thank you for being so understanding, Hardin." I kiss him. "Obviously it hurts, because I knew that there was a little human and now it's gone." I touch my abdomen and he put his hand over mine.

"And there will be another baby when we will be ready, ok?"

"Yeah. Can we keep this a secret, please?"

"Yes, of course."

"Thank you." He kisses me.

*

The next few days passed so hard, because it's a pain. Losing a baby, a part of you hurts so bad. In that day, I had the worst pain in my pelvis and it was awful. I cried a lot because of the pain from my heart and the pain caused by the medicine. But I am a very lucky woman because I have the best boyfriend ever. Hardin was there for me and he helped this to be easier. I am grateful for having him. He is my friend, my confident, my lover, my everything. He is my love and he will always have a special place in my heart.

It's been five days since that awful incident and I'm not still over it.

"Tess..."

"What?"