Once Upon A Time, Time Stopped

T h e T h i n g s Y o u L e f t B e h i n d

The fear of saying something wrong

Is a learned anxiousness

From all the times you'd sigh and tut

At our childish mistakes

When you'd come home

The performance began

We all tried our best to be wary of your moods

To say all the right things

And to never drop a plate

I don't do well with numbers

All I can remember is your balled-up fist

Holding the clothing hanger above your head

All because I couldn't sum it up

With play money in my hand

I cried into her arms

"I want him to die"

For the first time

You are the first reason why

I can't be comfortable around men

You know you were never really there

And when you were

Everyone had to walk on their toes

I came even came to hate your mother tongue

You'd speak in such harsh tones

When you would call our names

We'd take deep breathes before pilling into the living room

Taking whatever test you had prepared for us

Why do I recall them being jittery?

As you asked the to translate the news you were watching

Your face contorting with impatience at their inability

I dreaded the day you'd test me

When we left

I learned a little about the kind of man you were

And when I met you again

You were slightly hunched over

Your Gucci shirt worn out

You looked broken down

And I knew you were

When you tried to take your own life

And for the first time

We had something in common

And for the first time

I felt I was daddy's little girl