I think about what it means to be alive, and to live for one's self - completely and entirely just for the sake of one's own contentedness - don't be mistaken, I do not mean for it to be confused with selfishness or the political ideals of individualism. I hope to ask you, when was the last time you stood opposite yourself? what would you even see if it weren't for the mirror on the wall.
Listless days followed, but I got up out of the blue bedsheets, feeling bluer than the linen and God's sky. A golden rimmed mirror, perfectly hung at my head's height on the wall like an empty frame. Needing a face to lock into place its own self portrait because, well, mirrors don't have faces otherwise. They reflect ours, or anything else placed in their sight.
I take Neptune's blue, 75ml of a colour tester, and a sponge. Painting the wall around my golden mirror, locking a sky into place like the one that blankets my view of the outside from the window. Having finished I hold my hands to the mirror, turning them to look at my palms, repeating this motion of turning my hands. To look at how the drying paint shows off their winkled surface - not wrinkled by age but simply by it being skin, having its own crevices and nooks.
Before long I have an Elf green paired with an ocean blue to paint a Blumenstrauß, following this with a yellow mesh of flowers and a cherry blossom branch, lavender and all kinds of made-up flower shapes to make up the spaces in between. No roses, those aren't what I like to see. I hope that when I look into the mirror now, that I can smile at what surrounds it without needing to fully take in the sight of myself. I'll be distracted enough to not pay any mind to whether my smile is pretty enough, or how the look of my teeth poking out bothers me. For once, I might smile without thinking about my own lack of beauty, I'll be able to see the otherworldly flower shapes and smile to myself. At how I brought pieces of the outside into my own universe.
YOU ARE READING
Once Upon A Time, Time Stopped
PuisiDon't let your mind wander too far, for it will lose its selves - soul, thought and body. A soul that has lost its body is like a cat straying until it cannot pick up the familar scent of home anymore. It never returns, falling slave to a human God...
