Lost Voice

Too Late

[][ OH MY GOD. I got a comment from one of my bbies that made me want to hurry with this chapter x3 oh and I can't promise anything~ ][]

It's been a week. Chris, Jason, Akira, and Mamoru have been taking care of me and I haven't seen Xacier since. Well, at least I can walk now.

A sigh escapes my lips as I lean against the crumbling main wall, peering around the corner to watch Akira and Mamoru. I cant hear what they are fighting about but Mamoru looks desperate with her arms extended and Akira looks distraught, her hands continuously running through her hair. I frown softly, they should just make up. I swear, those two are the best of friends and I hope that this argument doesn't end it.

Mamoru's hands collapsed over her eyes, obviously crying. Akira frowns softly, I can read the 'I'm so sorry,' that rolled off of her lips, she wrapped her arms around Mamoru. Her fingers gliding through her hair as her other hand rubbed Mamoru's back.

I let out a soft sigh, well, it kinda seems like they made up..
Akira pulled away, allowing Mamoru to turn back into their room before walking in the opposite direction. I let out a mental sigh, guess they didn't but it's not my problem.
I walk around for a bit before walking around another corner, finding Jason and Chris going at it. And when I say going at it, I mean they are practically stripped and ready to have sex on the goddamn wall.
I'm mortified.
I'm stuck and I feel rather disgusted.
Who the hell has sex in public, in winter, on a fucking broken wall?!
Jason notices me, he practically screams, "WAIT NO, ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE...!" He yells, and Chris moves away from Jason, glaring daggers at me.

Did I forget to mention that I'm genophobic?

Yeah well, I am. And it's so bad that I can't even watch it or even get a glimpse of it.

My feet pound against the ground, my heart pounds out of my chest as Jason (who's now fully clothed) chases after me.
He manages to catch up to me, his cheeks still a bright red.
Jason grabs my arm and slams me against the wall, "It's not what it looks like!"
His hands pin me against the wall before his lips crash against mine.
Fear pulses through my blood as my mind and heart is filled with disgust. I attempt to flee, but Jason has me pinned against the wall in a position where I can't even move. My eyes water with fear, I let out a muffled scream and I wriggle my knee free and I slam it into his gut. I wipe my tears, kicking Jason in the face before composing myself.
"Disgusting pervert!" I seethe, running away before slamming into someone else.
I swear, if this is Chris, I'm fucked.
I look up, a weight is placed on my heavy heart, oh fuck.
Xacier.
He only glances at me, his head hanging low and sadness was flooded in his eyes.
Did he see all of that? Then he'd know it's once sided right..?
Xacier turns his head back, walking away from me as I stand there, like an idiot.
Now I do wish it was Chris, I'd rather have the shut beaten out of me than have Xacier think that I'm infatuated with Jason.
.-.-.-.-.
Xacier's door is locked.
It's been locked since that incident. I shudder and shiver at the though, I feel disgusted. I can't believe Jason did that to me. He tried talking to me but I runaway before he can, Chris is furious with me and Akira and Mamoru are still fighting. Zander is gone, so the 'peace maker' is gone.
This place is turning even more hellish than before.

My fists slam against Xacier's door, I jiggle the knob and I even charged against his door.

Please open up, please Xacier. Please! You can't just take my heart and lock your goddamn door! Let me in, Im scared. I'm terrified. Please open the door, please don't hate me, please listen to me.

Loud hiccups and muffled sobs fill the air as tears roll down my cheeks and I curl up in the dark and cold in front of Xacier's door.
I'm not leaving until he comes.
I'm not leaving until he opens this door.
I'm not leaving with out my heart.
I'm absolutely ridiculous for falling in love with him, I shouldn't have and now I have to take my heart back before it's too late.

I hear footsteps coming in my direction slowly, before they stop in front of me. I look through my blurry eyes, seeing the silhouette of Xacier. He looks down at me, a frown clearly placed on his lips before opening the door, and walking in.

He left the door open for me, I wipe my tear stained cheeks before walking inside. I have to get my heart back and break what ever connection we have. I already know that if we get involved in any kind of way that it's not going to work. I'm too in love with him and he probably doesn't even swing that way... Then again, he did kiss me...
My face flushes at that thought, I shake my head no, not know. Not know is the time to remember that!
Xacier was in the kitchen making some tea, his head still hanging low and his eyes once again refused to meet mine.
My heart churns with pain, no! Not now! Get your damn heart back!

But how do I get my heart back...?

"Xacier..." I said, not even sounding like myself, it was almost as if I wasn't speaking, but some one else was, "I hate you, so leave me alone."

His head snaps in my direction, he doesn't even have to speak because his eyes say it all; How am I bothering you if you came to me?

"J-just give it back! You can't take it and fuck with me! You're an asshole! A monster!"

His eyes turn a stormy grey, I swear to god I thought I saw tears welling up in them. His head droops and his shoulders sag but his grip on the counter top was deathly. I see him gritting his teeth, I see a vein ready to pop in his neck and I feel the over welling amount of guilt filling my body and heart.

It pisses me off.

"It's like you've got control of me," I sob, "you make me feel bad or guilty just like you are now. It hurts and you always interrupt my goddamn thoughts. I can't think properly with you around- even without you around I can't. You're always in my goddamn head and It hurts, so I want it back! Give it back!"

My words were soft, and spewing out of my mouth with no control whatsoever. My eyes were buried in the palms of my hands,
"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I yelled, my shoulders trembled as I cry. I take a step back, lifting my head up before going to the door. He probably hates me now but, isn't that how I get my heart back?
Just as I was going to twist the knob, but Xacier's hands slammed on either side of me with incredible force that I though the front door was going to break. I twist my head around to look at Xacier, but his arms wrap around my waist tightly, pulling me further into his house before he actually let me see his eyes.

They were angry, frustrated, and possessive towards me. A shiver traveled down my spine before he threw me on his bed, walking out of his bedroom and the mechanics in the door knob move.
He locked me in.

It's too late.

It's too late to get my heart back because Xacier's got a strong hold on it. And I don't think he's going to let go anytime soon.
.-.-.
I don't even try to escape, I just cry and curl up with the lavender smelling blankets that comfort me with their scent but not their warmth. I cry harder, why? Because it's dark and I'm scared. I'm cold and I'm lonely. And Xacier isn't here with me.

After another three hours, I hear the door being unlocked and I hear the soft yet heavy footsteps of Xacier's.
I act as if I'm asleep, and I feel him sit on the bed, his fingers running through my hair as I feel the warmth drip off his fingers and onto my cold being. I feel the covers move as Xacier slides in, his arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me close so we're spooning. His lips press against the back of my neck as he kisses it softly, one of his hands travels down my side and I shiver in both delight and disgust.
"Please... don't.." I whimper softly, grabbing Xacier's hand to stop it. His hand just wraps around my body once more, holding me tightly as his lips continue to move on the base of my neck.
That I can handle, but not his rough hands.

I let out a soft sigh, relaxing slightly as Xacier's hand covers my eyes. We both know that that somehow helps me sleep. I don't know how but it does, it's almost as his hand is blocking the darkness with its own.

It takes me a matter of seconds for me to fall asleep, with a heavy heart that's in someone else's hands.