Helpless (Book 1)

Chapter Twenty-Four

IT'S A LONG moment of complete silence until I'm able to find my voice again. I don't know how to react. I mean, I knew what the answer would be. I knew it! But...I just... 

 Laurens looks at me, a fond smile on his face and his blue eyes brim with unshed tears. His chin is wobbly and so is his smile. George leans back in his seat a little bit, letting us have some space. George sneaks a glance at Martha, who smiles wide, her eyes wide as well before glancing back at the two of us. Laurens scoots forward in his chair and stands up. I tilt my head up slightly, frowning with confusion. He extends his hand out for me which I gently take and helps me up to my feet swiftly yet slowly. He grips my hand in his tightly, looking down into my eyes while I look up into his. 

 "I love you, Alexander," Laurens confesses, blinking his eyes rapidly. He grips my hand tighter in his. "I love you. I love you. I love you, Alexander Hamilton. That's why I chose you."

 A pause. 

 "A-Alex...say something..." Laurens whispers, his blue eyes wide with fear.

 I open my mouth to say something but then clamp it shut. Laurens clenches his jaw tighter and swallows. I yank my hand away from his. Angelica was right. Laurens stares at me, confused. He reaches for my hand again but I pull it closer to my body. I furrow my brows together, my lips twisting into a scowl. Laurens's face pales. He inches closer but I involuntarily take a step back. 

 "You tricked me." I say it with a hiss, like a snake, but hotly and sharp. Anger squeezing my chest. This catches Laurens off-guard. He shakes his head. 

 "What?" he stutters. 

 "You lied to me...you...you...you...you were going to use me!" 

 "What?! No! No, I wasn't—" 

 "Really?" I snap, putting my hands on my hips. "Really?"

 "Alex—" 

 "No." 

 Silence.

 I spin around on around on my heel and jab my finger at his chest, causing Laurens to stumble back a little.

 "We're done."

 Laurens's eyes widen and he fearfully shakes his head. 

"No...no, no, no. Alex, please, just...just hear me out and that would be enough!" He clutches my wrist in his hands when he says the last part of his plead. 

I stop dead in my tracks, staring at the closed front door with my vision starting to fog up. I press my lips in a firm line, my chest squeezed tight, my throat burning, making it hard for me to breath. I feel as though someone just whacked my heart with a hammer and it's now shattered into pieces and it's falling into the pit of my stomach.

 He tricked me. 

 I swallow thickly, blinking my eyes and slowly turning around to meet his gaze. He's on his knees now, clutching at my wrist and a little bit of my dress that I still have on. Laurens looks up at me sharply, his blue eyes still brimming with unshed tears. I feel mine already escaping down my cheeks. 

I crouch down a little to Laurens's level, cradling his cheek and stroking his smooth cheek with the pad of my thumb. I smile fondly, tilting my head to one shoulder. Laurens closes his eyes gently, leaning into my touch and calming down. My fond smile however, immediately turns into a tight scowl and growl behind my closed lips. I lean into his ear.