chapter 3 <3

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ameera

what the fuck. what is going on?

after booking my flight time through billie's management, it all became so real. i have almost 50,000 followers on my fan page and my dm's are completely broken. i have all my clothes packed up in my suitcase and i may or may not be skipping one whole day of classes for this.

look, billie is way more important.

i called my mom yesterday and she picked up the phone, excited to talk to me.

"hey sweetie!" she answered quickly. i smiled at the sound of my mom's voice. moving into college dorms became the glue for our relationship. we're so much better apart. the trauma in our house was too much for me to handle.

"hey ma, how are you?" i asked and caught up with her. i forgot to ask her before doing all of this and i needed her to be in a super good mood for this.

"sooo i did something..." i started off and heard her sigh. "what'd you do now meera? you're always doing something." she said and i laughed nervously. i mean... she's not wrong.

"so i may have applied for this contest to fly to los angeles and hang out with billie eilish for a week and i may have won and i may be leaving tomorrow. and i may have forgotten to ask you first." i rushed out, holding my breath.

there were a few moments of silence on the other line and i could feel my heart beating in my throat. "are you serious?" she asked and i couldn't gauge her tone. "yes mom but you know ive loved billie for years. she's everything to me." i said sincerely.

it's true.. she pretty much saved my life.

"yes i know, she's all you talk about. for years..." she said with a bored tone. "exactly so please let me go. i promise I'll text you and send you pictures whenever you ask. please trust me to go." i said.  she sighed before answering, " it wouldn't be fair if i didn't let you go ameera. i know you've told me that billie doesn't do drugs and things like that so don't be stupid. text before you takeoff when and you're with her." she said and i could've screamed in excitement.

actually i did a little. "mom you're the best. i love you so much. this is gonna be the time of my life. bye!" i said and we said our goodbyes.

i smile, thinking about the day ahead of me. i needed to get billie a gift. i cant just show up empty handed damn. i don't even know the details of the trip. are we going to be staying in a hotel? is she going to trust a random fan to stay in her childhood home? are we staying in the guest room at claudia's house? how often am i even going to see her? what if she hates me and sends me back home? what if shark barks everytime he sees me? what i get to california and she sees me and immediately changes her mind? what if the food is bad?

i sat on my bed and stared at my wall, overthinking myself into a hole. i really felt like crying. this is the moment i've waited for over three years. the fact that it was finally happening and for me? absolutely insane. i want to form a real bond with billie, not just fangirl the whole time. i hope i can do everything i want to and really be myself.

i sighed and decided to call ash to quiet my thoughts. "hey babe, whats up?" she answered with a pet name, stuffing a macaron in her mouth. "my thoughts are so loud right now. im terrified." i said with a frown. she wiped the corners of her mouth while swallowing, taking a huge breath through her nose. "you're going to be more than fine. we know billie. shes an angel and i know there's a lot of pressure from the fandom and well.... the world but at the end of the day you're just you and its going to be amazing." she said, looking at me before stuffing another cookie into her mouth.

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