Come find me > lrh

↠ Mixtape (2015)

Chapter 3:

I've been forgetting to put chapter numbers on every chapter I'm very sorry lol

Get ready for feels

I snap awake and sigh, letting my knees rise to my chest and burying my head in between them. I need something to make these dreams stop.

My head snaps towards the direction of the door when I heard it squeak open. A blue haired Michael, was warily looking at me as if he was expecting me to be dead, or explode. Then he ran to me, arms open as he hugs me close to his chest.

"Michael?" I ask, confused.

"Fuck I'm so sorry Angel. I feel like I've failed you so fucking much to make you wanna kill yourself like that." He says, still hugging me to his chest.

"I- it's been a week Michael, I'm fine" I said to him, wrapping my arms around him anyway "plus, y- you didn't fail me. It was my decision, .i just- I can't keep living like this with Luke's blood in my hands"

"Angel, look at me," my green eyes met his "Luke's blood isn't in your hands. You didn't kill him. Ou- our father did, okay? Painful as it may, but you have to move on"

"It's not easy, fuck why can't you people get that?!" I scream and bury my head on the pillow "do you even know what it's like, to have the one person you let in your life after all the bullshit, to let him in and let him make you happy and just like that, just that quick, he's ripped away from you again?!" Tears began to stream down my face "I feel so hollow, Mike. There's this space in my heart that was reserved for him and now that he's gone he's left a gaping hole in the middle of my chest and I can't, no matter how hard I try, fill that goddamn hole and make myself feel complete again."

I heard him sigh. He hugs me tight one last time and retracts. "This um," he clears his throat "this came in the mail today,"

I peek from the blankets and see a cd in his hands "it's addressed to you. We respected your privacy and didn't play it. So, uh, you can play it once I'm out of the room, ok?"

"What, you won't tie my hands so I won't kill myself again?" I say bitterly.

He smiles weakly and kisses the top of my head "no, I trust that you won't make anymore rash decisions, anyway, it's your choice if you wanna do it. It'll hurt like a bitch but if that's what'll make you happy I won't stop you. It's your life after all" he smiles at me with his glassy eyes and I felt guilty. He hands me the cd and rises from the bed to leave me.

"Wait," I said and Michael stops in the middle of the room. I stand from the bed and ran to him, barefoot as I open my arms and hug his torso "I won't kill myself. For you, for Cal, for Ash. I love you" I whisper and I hear Michael sigh in relief. He hugs me back and kisses the top of my head again.

He smiles and leaves.

I walk back to the bed and eye the cd carefully.

To: Angel Sinclair-Clifford
Fr: anonymous

I grew suspicious with the anonymity, but I took my cd player anyway and put the cd in. I cuddle myself in the blankets as I wait, with much suspense, for the cd to play.

Static

Static

"Hey baby,"

My eyes widen as tears began to fill my eyes again. Luke's voice was emitted from the cd player. How?

"So, uh, hi." I let out a laugh at his awkwardness "I miss you, like a lot. And I've been watching over you, from wherever I am right now. So, yeah, I've been writing some songs in my free time, and by the time you're listening to this, I'm dead. Sucks huh? Let's just hope you won"t have to listen to this, ok, um, back to the point.