kalopsia [harry styles]

32

FALLON COLLINS 

I liked Harry. 

I really liked him. 

If I hadn't known it before, I knew it now. It was so painfully clear to me that I did, and I hated myself for it. 

He wasn't right for me. In fact, he was the opposite of everything I wanted. His life was a whirlwind of concerts and drugs and girls. He never seemed to stay put in one place. He was violent and mean and an asshole sometimes. 

He was someone who didn't care for anyone other than himself. 

Yet, if there was something that this 3-hour trip had made clear, it was that. 

Of course, I'd been in denial for a while. The signs had been there; like a big neon poster hung up on a street sign. 

"I like you, Harry! Please kiss me until I can't breathe!!!!" 

God, it was embarrassing. 

But I liked him. 

I liked the way that his eyes glimmered when he was happy, and the way that the line in between his eyebrows showed when he was angry. I liked how he seemed to be protective of me, and how even if he was in a bad mood, he was never angry at me. 

I could count with one of my hands the number of men I'd liked this way.

Harry, and Liam. 

Of course, there were only two. I'd never been like Faith, who always seemed to have a man hanging off her arm. She tossed them away like used makeup wipes– one after the other. I wasn't one to judge though. Every time she brought home another boyfriend I was always supportive. 

She'd walk into my room, a big smile on her face as she sat on my bed. Then she'd gush and squeal and tell me about her recent adventure with her current boyfriend. 

It didn't matter if the man she wanted to have had a girlfriend. It didn't matter if they were married or had kids or taught the class she was attending. If she wanted them, she got them. 

She always did. 

Including Liam. 

I guess I should have seen it coming. She always wanted what she couldn't have–which wasn't much, but Liam was the one thing really off-limits. 

He was my boyfriend. Of course she couldn't have him. 

I'd sensed the jealous looks from her two months into dating him. Every time Liam and I would argue she would always encourage that I broke up with him. I never did though. Not until I found out about everything. 

Even then Faith didn't really care, and I had to admit I didn't really either. I was done with things, and I wasn't going to be dealing with more drama. 

It had hurt like a motherfucker. Still did. 

If that had broken my heart, I didn't even want to start to think about how it would hurt when Harry and I didn't get along anymore. 

I was sure this wouldn't last long. Nothing this good ever lasts anyways. 

"You alright there?" Harry's voice snaps me out of my train of thought. 

I nod, taking in a deep breath and running a hand through my hair. 

"Yeah, why?" I ask, turning back to look at him. 

He shrugs, not looking away from the road. 

"You sighed... it sounded like you were thinking about something sad" He points out. He was being weirdly kind. He normally treated me right... but always with a tinge of annoyance; it was like he thrived off being annoyed at everything.