Light As A Feather..Diego Hargreeves

forty four.

You're The Only Family I Really Need

present !

Klaus, Allison, Vanya and Maria had all gone out to get tacos. When they bought them they brought them back to the hair salon that Allison works at and they all got a little drunk, well except Maria.

Allison was doing Klaus's hair while they were ranting about relationships. Vanya was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room and Maria was sitting at a little table. "The nerve of that man. I mean, one thing goes wrong, and he's on a warpath. I mean, doesn't he know who I am?! No, no, no Ray. You know exactly who I am. You just can't handle it."

Maria rolled her eyes at how naive and stupid Allison was being. I mean her poor husband just found out that she has a superpower for crying out loud. Vanya was making finger guns and was 'shooting' hair products. "Pew, pew."

"I'm protecting him."

"Pew, pew." Allison slapped Klaus on the cheek a little bit and of course, Klaus being Klaus, he had to over react. "Ow! From what?"

"The end of the world for one." Vanya looked up and was very slouched over. "Is the world really gonna end in six days?"

Maria looked up at her with an 'are you serious' look on her face. "No, Santa Claus is coming in six days, yes, the world is ending!"

"Yeah, it did last time and we did everything Five could think of to stop it." Klaus then stood up out of his chair and started walking to the middle of the salon. "Hey, wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?"

"Oh my god!" Maria fake gagged, well, it might have been real and Allison cringed. "Ew!"

"Oh ew! Ew! Please, Miss Luther was my lover!" Maria started making kissing sounds to annoy Allison. "We have never even kissed."

"Yeah, but you guys were making little sick moon dog eyes at each other all through puberty and breakfasts and all that."

"Oh yeah! Well what about Maria and Diego hmm?" Maria looked at her with that 'are you serious' look again. "Okay number one: we aren't related. Number two: I was never adopted therefore he isn't my brother and number three: me and Diego would be way to hot of a couple for this earth to handle."

"Amen!" Maria pointed at Klaus after he said that. Vanya was a bit confused on the subject. "Aren't we all brothers and sisters?"

"Well technically, it-" Klaus then interrupted Allison with logic that actually made sense. "Technically? If you have to use the word technically you're already in trouble."

Allison giggled a little bit seeing as how Klaus was actually right. "Okay can-can we focus? I mean clearly we're not saving the world tonight but maybe, maybe we could at least try to save my marriage."

"No! No, because that's like-that's like asking a nun how to hump someone's leg." Maria let out a little laugh.

"I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships?" Klaus then pointed at Vanya. "This one? In secret love with some farm frau."

"Her name's Sissy!"

"Which is an improvement on her previous love interest, the serial killer."

"What?" She looked directly at Allison and she mouthed, "later."

"Meanwhile, I'm carrying a torch for a soldier I haven't technically met yet. Flower over here, is best friends with a hot straight guy who fights crime with her and she's totally ignoring it!" Maria raised her hand a bit. "We're actually the crime, but never mind continue."