Butterfly Blues

Chapter 4: Entertainment

I was walking back to class when I noticed a boy with red hair in my preview. I decided to ignore it for now since I have my own problems to deal with.

Once I stepped back in the classroom I made no eye contact with Nagisa, in fact I ignore him all together. If we have no need no talk to each other then we will do no such thing. I could see him glaring at me as I kept my focus on the window I was walking towards.

Soon our weird octopus of a teacher made a grand entrance and began teaching us. I wanted to listen, but I was too bored. The equations he was spitting about, I had heard more than a million times, it was, once again, already programmed in my brain. Hey, you know, I guess the saying, "if you say it enough, you'll remember it," is kind of true.

I glanced out the window and caught a certain cloud. It was shaped like a thought bubble, like in manga and comic books. My eyes lingered on it and I eventually fell into a daze. Well, it felt so real so I guess it would be considered a day dream.

I imagine myself killing the octopus, getting back on the main campus, putting my hard work into action, and finally being able to leave my family. I'm not aloud to have a job, due to the fact that it's against school policy and I have to—along with Gakushū— act as a role model for everyone else.

However, I do have money saved up from me doing extra tasks around the house and my old tutoring sessions. I'm saving it all up for college, so when I leave—I have no reason to come back. My parents won't be able to keep me on their leash any longer than necessary. I can't wait.

My thoughts then drifted over to marriage, what if my father really does have a plan, what if I'm already betrothed to someone I have no idea exists? How will I be able to do what I want, go to school and get my doctorate degree. I want to become a school teacher, for the lower grades. I don't want to be a stay at home mom, I don't want to have to depend on some guy for money and I certainly won't give up my dream for it either.

Again my thoughts drift from one to another, creating a whirl wind of opinions and answers to questions or reactions to statements I haven't gotten yet. I can only hope that Gakushū will agree and follow me or even better, come with. I don't want to leave him because I want to be there for him, when he gets like father it's out of hand and he usually can't control his temper. I've never met anyone who was able to detain him other than myself, and even though I say this—and mean it; I want to be able to live my life the way I want to. I won't leave my dream of going to college and becoming a school teacher for him. I won't do it.

I continue thinking in my head and with that, my rambles of reasons why I shouldn't get in an engagement relationship, at least before my last year, spun in my mind and left me way to vulnerable.

Snap Snap Snap

"Hey, hey L/n."

Clap Clap Clap

"Hey, HEY L/N?"

"Huh, huh? What? What's wrong?" I turn my head in several directions trying to figure out who the voice dragging me out of my thoughts is.

The person sighed, when I looked in front of me, I saw Nagisa pinch the bridge of his noise.

I tilted my head, was he the one who was trying to get my attention?

Nagisa looked up with a frown on his face, her stood and grabbed his bag. "L/n it's time for GYM." He cooley spat.

I can't really be mad at him though, he is the only one who noticed I wasn't paying attention.

"Right." I said grabbing my bag and standing up. "Then we better get going."

"If you were paying attention we wouldn't be late." Nagisa muttered as we rounded the hallway to the locker rooms.