Letters // larry a.u.

thirteen

jeSUs thank you so fucking much for 800 reads ????!!! 

Dedicated to all of you !! :') have a nice weekend lovelies ! 

***** 

December 5th, 2022 
3:32am// 

I hope after you find out everything about me, you won't leave like others. I hope for the love that you give me. I hope for the wings that lightly hang from your sides to stay, because I swear to god, you are an angel. I'm sorry if what you're about to find out will make you doubt me, or leave me. I am sorry. I know you won't but still, don't? 

Stay? 

Please? 

Yours, 

Harry x

Louis didn't know what harry meant, and louis was internally freaking out. He was smiling and laughing with harry while he was screaming inside. 

"Are you alright lou?" Broke louis from his thoughts. 

"Uh yes?" He doubtingly said.

"Louis?" Harry questioned again. 

"Okay fine, all I want to do is get to know you better. Like the deep stuff, your secrets." Louis said, and he felt as if he already hit a spot he shouldn't have. 

"Oh alright. But if I share a secret, you have to share one too." 

"Okay." Louis replied. And so they put some blankets on the floor, and grabbed some alcohol which stayed still in the middle of the two of them. They both sat across from each other but wrapped up in blankets and the only sense of lighting being the candles. 

"You go first." Harry said, and louis decided to start off with the small secrets. 

"I once walked in on my parents doing... you know." Louis grimaced and harry laughed loudly, screaming out a 'oh my god.'

"I slept in the same bed as my mum until I was 12." Harry said, with his head down, groaning at the laughs from louis. 

"I was so drunk once, that I poured alcohol in a toilet bowl and drank from it." Louis squealed out and shivered at the thought, while harry let out a string of 'ew.' 

"You were my first kiss." Harry breathlessly said, turning absolutely beat red. 

"What?" Louis blurts out. 

"Yeah." Harry ashamed, puts his head down. 

"Wow." Louis smiles a little. 

"Wow?" Harry questioned, looking down sadly. Louis saw and scooched closer to harry practically falling into his lap.

"In a good way harry, in a beautiful way. You- I can't explain it. It's like you ignited my lungs." Louis whispered, pecking harry's lips slowly. 

"Let's, um let's open the bottle. I think I need something to drink." Harry exclaimed and opened the bottle and drowned it down his throat immediately. Louis looked at him with wide eyes. 

"Harry! Slow down." 

"Louis, there's something I've been wanting to tell you." And louis' heart stopped for a second, and he began sweating hoping it wasn't something horrible, but deep down louis knew it was going to be horrible. 

"It's about, my parents. The reason why I left or well they kicked me out." Harry breathed out, and louis could see harry tensing because his jaw was practically sharp as a knife, and his fingers were clutching the blanket so hard, it looked like it could break. His eyes were showing such pain and louis didn't like this harry, because he knows exactly how he feels. 

"It wasn't until I came out that they started treating me differently. My mum started becoming so cold towards me, it's like she never even met me. My father though, my father is total different story. He kept beating me, as I already told you but, one night something even worse," Harry absolutely couldn't finish that sentence, he broke. He was breaking and louis wanted to glue all of the pieces back together, because fuck this boy doesn't deserve all this shit. 

He struggled to get the sentence out but he managed, and in a way he was relieved. Harry has never told anyone, it was in his gut, buried in his heart and scarred across his body. He finally said it and it was along the lines of, "He raped me." Well, which was exactly what harry had said. 

Harry was too out of focus to even see that louis was hugging the life out of him, he didn't even know he was crying until louis started kissing away the tears. 

"I love you." He repeated so many times for harry to hear. 

"I was a bruiser." Louis says. 

"Oh." And harry realized that people, that everyone, has problems. And that harry couldn't have ever pictured louis going through anything of that sort. But now he has learnt not to judge a book by its cover, harry learnt that everyone goes through something, and to not compare your chapter one to someones chapter 25. 

Now he knows. 

And now he feels better, and freer because there is somebody who understands at the end of the day, and like that they fall asleep on the floor with blankets askew from them. With alcohol everywhere but their hearts because, now, now their hearts have each other. 

---------

To make it clear, a bruiser is a person who self harms but, not cutting or burning. It is giving themselves bruises by punching a certain part of their body. 

In no way am I romantacizing self harm, and if you're struggling through something like that, feel free to contact me I am always here for you. 

Lots of love xx