Like Father Like Daughter

It's all in the past now

There was no point in thinking about it. It doesn't matter if he was my ally back then. As soon as I marked my leaf village headband, I was ultimate cutting ties with everyone and everything in it. My feeling are futile and I must come to know that. I'm sure he won't think twice about killing me so I must do the same.

In terms of strength, I know I was 10x stronger then he was but that's when we were genin. Who knows what training he did with Orochimaru? He's probably killed hundreds no thousands just like me.

I'm deciding wether or not to go to Itachi, even if he doesn't care I think he should have the right to know. I got to his room and remember to knock this time.

"Come in"

I turn the handle and allow myself to enter.

"Oh it's you May, need something" he said with his signature closed smile. 

He already knew it was me but still asks.

"Umm", how could I explain this it's not everyday someone comes up to you and says I'm going to assassinate your younger brother. I look down at my feet and quickly say it.

"I wanted to tell you that I  just got a mission...to kill Sasuke Uchiha"

He chuckles.

I look up at him. Well this was certainly not what I was expecting.

"May, you surprise me"

"W-what do you mean by that"

"Exactly what I said"

"Stop these mind tricks or whatever just tell me"

I don't know what on earth is going on, but I think I'm looking like a complete idiot right now. I should have just got onwith the mission he probably thinks I still care.

He stops smiling and states:

"You know I couldn't care less if he was dead or alive. I killed my whole clan with my own hands and I still don't feel any sorrow or regret. If I had a choice I would do it again gladly. So do you still think I'm concerned for him".

"Listen Itachi, I'm not so naive to think that you killled your whole clan without a good reason. The fact that you spared Sasukes life is enough to believe that you still care".

He gives off a light sigh, as if he's telling a story he's already told 100 times.

"It's hard for you to understand because unlike you, I am not kind-hearted and generous. I killed my clan simply because I had enough of being ordered around by them. As for Sasuke, I left him so he could grow his hatred towards me, the only way of awaking the true potential of the sharingan is to kill a loved one. Knowing all this do you still stand by your story May"

I stood there in shock. Everything he said made complete sense. I'm now thinking how foolish I was to think this man gives a damn.

"We're the complete opposite, I'd like to think that I have no relation to the past but then I would be lying because I still do and cannot cut ties with them. I wish, I wish I could do what you did. Forget everything about your past"

"Your wrong about that, I haven't forgotten anything, I still clearly recall the look on my parents faces when I killed them. For me, it was the matter of no longer having the will to love. There was simply none in me. However we're all different for you it's the matter of not being able to hate someone who you have memories with, because that's simply how you think.

I look him in the eyes. Itachi just read me like a book.

"Then tell me how do I stop caring. I don't want  my emotions to control me. I don't love no one or anything. So why, why me?

I sounded angry now.

"I can't control your feeling and neither can you. Your feelings are the true you, not your actions. You came here to alert me on the mission you were assigned to, about killing Sasuke, correct"

I nod. 

"Well I'll say the person who is truly concerned is you"

I don't think twice about what I am saying anymore I just blurt out what I've been bottling inside me.

"I know, I just came here for some sort of reassurance, but now I'm even more confused. I thought life in the Akatsuki would be easy, all I have to do is kill people which for me is not hard. So why am I hurting so much?"

"That's for you to grasp. One cannot explain another's emotion"

I sigh. Deep down I knew he would say that.

"Itachi thank you. I feel so confused but so complete".

Talking to Itachi made you think all your worries we're irrelevant because he reacts to them so casually. I bet Itachi would be a really good therapist in another life.

"Don't mention it, anytime you feel anxious we can talk".

Itachi was probably the most solemn, mysterious person in the Akatsuki but at times like this I'm really glad he's there for me.

I smile, one that actually felt genuine and turned around and left. All the worries I had were gone for now at least. Maybe I am getting closer to find myself.

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