Alive for you (YumiKuri)

Chapter 3

Historia's POV

I woke up by the sound of the birds chirping and the sun's light coming through my face.

Ah.. i went and sleep here in my tiny office again...

I heard a knock in the door and as it opened i saw a little blonde enter the room.

"Mommy, you went and sleep here again. Why won't you sleep with me and daddy?"

"Ah.. sorry dear, mommy's just tired thats all" i said

"Historia"

I heard a voice calling my name from the door, as i then faced the door i see the man i was forced to be married and bare a child with.
"Breakfast is ready now why dont we all eat together again?" He said
"Maybe.. I'll pass for today, i still have some papers to check" i lied.
The truth is, ever since i got married i never wanted to eat together with anyone. I just want to be alone and have peace, the only times i eat together with my "family" is when there is ocations like my daughters birthday yesterday.

"Aww, alright mommy! Me and daddy will now go and eat" my little girl said and went out of my office.

"I'll follow you there sweetie, i just have something to talk with mommy" my husband said. I then looked at him with the same emotionless and empty look i always do ever since 3 years ago.

"Historia.. you went and wrote a useless letter for that 'ymir' girl again.."he said

I looked down at my desk and saw a slightly wet paper with a quite poetic and full of love letter .

Seems like i cried all night again..

"Its been 3 years since we got married historia! Come to your senses you're married with me now, and that girl you've been in love with is dead! You can't start a family with royal-blooded children with her because the both of you are girls! Can't you see that?!" He started to risen his voice.
Luckily our maid Elizabeth is the one feeding our child right now

(Alright so the maid is just a made up OC of mine)

"Henceforth, im still a woman with feelings. Until the day i die i will still love her because she's my one and only true love! Try to know your place will you?.. i only decided to talk to you and agreed to get married and bare a child with you because we all thought it was the only way for the future of Paradis to be safe. However, we did not see Eren's true goal and that was to free all of us from this world of titans...all you think about is politics and governments... Even if you think writing some letters that will never reach her seems useless, well its not actually. These letters are for when i die, all will know about the woman i love. I don't care if it causes a scandal to my reputation as queen because at that time i am dead already!" I said

"Then what about me? Don't you even love me?" He said

"Honestly? No, i never ever developed feelings for you for the past 3 years. I only show affection to where we're in public or in front of the child. And to be clearly honest, for you to know some of my past. Ymir, my first love.. we both sworn to each other that we will both get married after the war, But it never happened..
So as you see...the night we maked out was one-sided, even our relationship as a married couple. You're the only one who felt affection.. i dont want to be rude to you but this is truly how i felt for 3 years. To me we were never a couple because I couldn't bring myself to betray my feelings to the woman i loved."

Silence filled the room..

"Remember our contract.. the contract we made secretly.. you are only to pretend king of Paradis for my own people.. not yours" i added

"...understood.. your feelings for that woman are strong...and its hard to defeat... I shall take my leave.. your majesty.." he replied before leaving my office.

Early in the morning damn it... sigh..ymir.. oh ymir...i wish for you to be alive and be right by my side right now.. i can't handle this hell anymore... I thought to myself before heading towards the balcony to feel the warmth of the sun and the fresh air.

Ymir's POV

"Ymir, wake up" i heard mikasa's voice calling my name, telling me to wake up.
I opened my eyes slowly as only mikasa and jean is here, i then sat up looking at them.

"Breakfast is ready mikasa, ymir" jean said as he places the food he cooked for breakfast.

Ah fuck it.. this two can't probably going out together.. Eren will go crazy if he founds out, oh wait. Eren's a goddamn ghost now

"Umm.. mikasa? Can i ask a question?" I asked
"Sure, go ahead ymir" mikasa replied
"Are you and jean going out?"
"Yea-"
"No"

Jean was cutted off by mikasa as his eyes widen
"Wait we aren't going out???" He asked
"No, because i dont intend to betray my feelings for eren.. even if he is already gone in this world but he will always stay in my heart" mikasa stated

Woww.. wish eren could hear what Mikasa is saying right now

"Even if he's dead mikasa, you'll still love him?" I asked again
"Why yes of course, because one day in another life.. i would surely be his girl..and he'll be my one and only man.."

"I understand, even if your comment was a pain, I'll just go to Pieck" jean said
"Jean you're a fucking try hard on getting laid" i spoke
"What did you say?! Goddamn you ymir! You're so lucky that historia still has goddamn feelings for you"

My eyes widen..
"What?"
"You heard me, freckles. Historia still goddamn loves you and needs you even after 7 years."
"....."
"Every night she writes letters that she hoped reaches you, the one you read yesterday was last week's letter. Today I'll be secretly getting and keeping another one just as we settled"

I went silent.. i thought historia wouldn't want me anymore but here she is.. writing some letters that she hopes will reach me..

"Jean.. do me a favor.."

"Sure what is it?"

"Let me meet up with historia.. tell her everything... And when i say everything... I. MEAN. EVERYTHING.."