𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐒 | 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐒

⑥ SPINNIN: ⑥

A few weeks later...

ONCE WE GET BACK TO the abandoned library, I, for what feels like the hundredth time, take out the newspaper from April 1st, 2019.

At this point, I've basically memorized the entire paper. It mostly talks about the details of my father's death a little, how Vanya was supposed to have a concert that day, and other average everyday news.

I lost a page from it about two years ago so now, we only have the Sunday comics, advertisements, and local news.

At this point, I don't know how Five and I haven't gone insane yet. Mabey it's because Delores has been like a therapist for us. I'm glad she's handling our divorce well.

The fires have taken out almost everything. There are only a few buildings left standing now. We move around a lot. About a year after being here, we found the remains of an old mansion which, for the most part, was still standing. We stayed there for almost a year before that started breaking down as well.

Our food supply is starting to decrease. It won't be long until we will have to start surviving off of cockroaches. Five and I found an old twinkie a few days ago... I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say that neither of us will be craving sweets anytime soon.

After Five and I's sparring session a few weeks ago, I've been really in my head. It doesn't help that I've developed really bad ADHD from being in the apocalypse for so long. Whenever I'm stressed or just need to be alone, I go for a walk.

Five understands but I can tell he worries about me. I worry about him too though. He has barely spoken to Delores and I, trying to focus on solving equations. Every clear surface we can find, we start using for notes. The only space we haven't gotten to is the ground.

"I'm going to take a walk," I mutter to Five before leaving, not waiting for a response. I pull the scarf I'm wearing over my mouth to protect my lungs from the unhealthy fumes in the air.

I cross my arms as I pace down what was once a street full of stores but is now just piles of stacked bricks and broken-down signs as small areas are decorated with fires. It's depressing seeing the world you grew up with, in shambles.

My father, may he rot in hell, trained us to save the world... look at me now. A failure. I wonder what he would think of me now. Nothing good, I would expect.

Even with the company of Delores and Five, I feel myself feeling more alone than ever lately. I still get nightmares of how my life would be if I was the only one here.  It makes me question why I'm still even trying to live.

No, I'm here for Five. The first few years of being here, sure, I only wanted to get back to stop the apocalypse, but now... I don't know. I've given up. Honestly, Five is the only reason I haven't given up completely.

I stop walking as soon as I reach my destination. The Academy. I haven't been here since Five and I scavenged it to see if there were anything we could save from the fires when we first got here.

I take two slow steps to the broken front gate and carefully open it. It makes a creeky sound due to not having been opened in years. I press my lips together as I step onto the property. Everything was deconstructed. Nothing looked the same.

I look around with an empty expression on my face. I kept walking forward, looking for something specific. I walk down what used to be a hallway, past what used to be Pogo's room, the kitchen, and finally enter what once was the dining room.

The room where I last saw my family alive and healthy. The room where we made a life-changing decision we can't take back. The room where I remember playing with my siblings growing up. The room which is now nothing but building remains.