Back To Darkness

Chapter 2: Repercussions

Yuki could not remember much of the journey to the Sohma main house. The first coherent thought he had was to curse to own stupidity in defying Akito by not attending the New Years' dinner. He later remembered that as the driver pulled into the impressive Sohma complex, Akito had gently traced his fingers down his cheek, causing his breath to hitch. Saying goodbye to the others was a blur to Yuki now. He thought he must have managed alright, as usual; disguising the cracking of his interior with his carefully mastered mask. Some excuse to Tohru and Kyo about wanting to visit his friends at the main house for a time...

Yuki shivered. He sat alone in his special room. The darkness and stillness seemed to press in on him. It was cold, it had always been cold here. Since arriving back for the first time in a year, Yuki had been having trouble breathing. His hands trembled and his chest was tight. His whole being was reacting to this change, anticipating danger.

Akito had walked Yuki to the room without speaking. Slowly he had turned the ornate key in the lock, before almost silently sliding the door open. Yuki had hesitated then, his instinct to flee, but Akito's sharp angry exhale had been enough for him to take the first, most difficult step, back into his personal hell. Akito remained in the doorway for an immeasurable amount of time, seeming to watch Yuki thoughtfully. Finally he had taken a small step away.

"I'll be back Yuki" he promised, before locking the door and leaving.

Since then Yuki had been alone.

He shivered, whether from the cold or fear he could not tell. Drawing his knees close to his chest, Yuki huddled in a corner, waiting. Perhaps the waiting was worse, he considered. Knowing what was coming but still being powerless to stop it. Knowing Akito intimately, as Yuki did from their childhood spent together, he understood the prolonging of his suffering would appeal to Akito. Yuki remained huddled in the dark for what felt like a horribly long time, thinking of Shigure and Tohru, but most of all Akito, when finally the God himself returned.

Akito carefully closed the door behind him and smiled as he walked towards Yuki.

"Ahh Yuki, your old corner, you always did love to hide away there," he simpered. "Unfortunately, there is nothing that can help you now."

Yuki could not help but whimper at that. Being back with Akito and especially being back in this room made him feel like a child again. He was instantly ashamed of his display of weakness; he was usually so composed. Akito, however, was the only one who could see under Yuki's mask, who always seemed to understand exactly what he was thinking, sometimes before even he knew himself. As Akito approached Yuki's whole body tensed, his nerves coiled like springs ready to burst forth. Despite this, when Akito reached out a slender hand and touched Yuki's cheek, he froze.

"Oh my dear Yuki, I do so wish you had come to New Years'. If you had you wouldn't need to be punished. I wouldn't have to. Did you mean to inconvenience me as such, or were you just being an evil little rat?"

Akito's voice had dropped dangerously low by the end, and Yuki knew when Akito was being quiet or gentle it was far worse than if he was shouting. He tried to answer but couldn't. His body and mind weren't cooperating. He lowered his eyes to stare intently at his knees.

"Yuki," Akito whispered, "Don't you dare look away from me when I'm talking to you"

With a tremendous effort Yuki managed to raise his eyes to meet Akito's, merely a foot away.

"Now Yuki, I'll ask one more time -why weren't you at New Years'?"

Yuki struggled with his tongue but it seemed too large for his mouth and he couldn't get the words to form around it. As transfixed as he was staring at Akito's furious eyes, Yuki never saw Akito draw his hand back to deliver a vicious slap. Yuki went reeling backwards, crashing hard onto the cold floor.

"You monster!" Akito snarled, and the sudden venom in his voice combined with the stinging pain from the slap jolted Yuki's brain back into action.

"Akito I'm so sorry! I am- I- I'm sorry. I didn't- I'm sorry" he begged.

"You will address me as master." And just like that Yuki was six years old again. As he crawled back to Akito he realised he would never be free; would always be that same frightened child. And when Akito struck him again he welcomed the momentary blackness it brought, the too-brief escape from his flawed existence.

After Yuki had once more crawled back to Akito and apologised, Akito gently cupped his face in a hand, a grim expression on his face.

"You understand that you have done wrong Yuki. And you understand that you must be punished. I do not much care for your motives, only that you learn from this. You know, I only do this because I love you." He gazed into Yuki's unusual violet eyes for a few moments before gently releasing his face. He slowly walked to an ancient cabinet, one of only two pieces of furniture in the room, removing a key from the pocket of his kimono as he went. Yuki closed his eyes for a moment of peace before the inevitable.

"Turn around." The command came sternly and Yuki complied without hesitation. Keeping his eyes closed, he tried to concentrate on his breathing, the rapid rhythm of his heart, anything but Akito's approaching footsteps. In his last few seconds he tried to think of his home and friends, holding on to them. As Akito brought the whip slashing across his back however, Yuki cried out in pain and all thought of happiness was lost.

Pain. That was the only thing Yuki could comprehend for a long time. He could feel the pain, taste it, even smell it. His eyes fluttered open to darkness. He realised he must have passed out; he was splayed on the floor. He tried to sit up and collapsed. The pain was so sharp, so raw. He felt it burning, stinging, setting his nerves alight. Akito had been merciless, that much he could remember. Despite all Yuki's cries and pleas the God had continued slashing and tearing and ripping at Yuki's back and arms. Vaguely Yuki wondered how bad it was before the comfortable blackness claimed him once more.

When he was next aware of his eyes being open, Yuki's thoughts were more coherent. He managed this time to raise himself into a sitting position, wincing as his skin stretched over his wounds. He could not see his back but one of the cuts on his shoulders seemed deep and the ones he could find on his arms were stinging. With considerable effort he returned to his corner. He knew it was silly, that he was no safer there than anywhere else, but mentally he felt better huddled there. Careful not to let his back touch the wall, Yuki closed his eyes once more. The smell of blood was strong. As Yuki silently cried himself to sleep, he could not believe only that morning he had woken up so content.