Back To Darkness

Chapter 12: The Longest Night

Yuki gasped awake, panting and shaking. He gazed around, attempting to gather his thoughts. He was in his own room, lying on bed on top of the covers. The summer sunlight filtered gently in. He had been sleeping a long time it seemed. The dream scared him. It had been so vivid. Cautiously he made his way downstairs, using the banister for support. Since returning home he had been wearing silk socks at all times to conceal the healing burns on his feet and ankles. Still they were tender when he walked. It seemed Kyo had managed to fight back a bit; the side of Yuki's face was sore, as well as his chest and leg. He was pleasantly surprised at the pain though; recently he hadn't been able to feel much. Fighting Kyo had rekindled a spark in him.

Feeling nervous he entered the kitchen. Tohru, Haru, and Momiji sat around the table. Ayame and Shigure stood talking, but all noise ceased when he entered. Ayame looked relieved and Tohru slightly timid, but the others betrayed nothing.

What could he say to them? How to tell them he'd been feeling dead inside for weeks? That attacking Kyo had finally made him feel alive again? That he was a monster, that Akito loved him, and that he knew no-one else possibly could. In the end he swallowed back all of this, secured his mask in place.

"I'm sorry."That was all he said, all he could say. He understood saying it to Kyo would be a lot harder.

He knew what they were thinking: You are vile. Unlovable. Pathetic and weak. A disgusting abomination. A monster. A freak...

Of course they were. That's what he was. It surprised him that they welcomed him for breakfast, Tohru fetching him some extra food she'd put aside. Maybe they were just really good actors.

It was only later that day that he would learn the truth. He was sitting with Haru, Momiji and Tohru in the living room. Ayame was loitering in the kitchen and Shigire had gone to talk to his editor. Yuki wondered how they could bear to be in the same room as him knowing what he had done, knowing what he was. Haru filled what would have been an uncomfortable silence with anecdotes and jokes, for which Yuki was immensely grateful.

It was Tohru who first noticed. She gasped loudly and pointed at Yuki's chest. He glanced down in confusion and his heart sank. Blood was soaking through his t-shirt, from the gash in his chest most likely.

"It's fine," he said, "It's nothing Miss Honda"

Her gasp however, had drawn Ayame over. They all stared at Yuki as Ayame dramatically gasped also and immediately phoned Hatori.

"It's fine." Yuki tried again but it seemed none of them were listening.

"Hatori says to clean it and bandage the entire chest" Ayame informed them when he'd finished on the phone, "You'll need someone to wrap the bandage for you he said."

Yuki glanced desperately towards Shigure's office door. He was who Yuki would have chosen, the only one who knew the truth, or some of it at least.

"Really its fine, I don't think it's serious. I'll just go change." Yuki insisted, a desperate edge creeping into his voice. He stood quickly and swayed slightly, unsteady and dizzy.

"No,"Ayame said, "He insists. You need it."

Yuki swallowed. Ayame looked on expectantly.

"Fine, as long as," he hesitated, suddenly unsure, "As long as Miss Honda will consent to help me?"

Tohru blushed and jumped up immediately.

"Of course Yuki! You don't even have to ask, of course I'll help."

Ayame looked perturbed. Yuki panicked; they couldn't know. He had only asked Tohru because he knew she'd be easiest to dissuade from treating him when they were alone.