i dare you - charli d'amelio

12 - you're toxic

Haha look this is written

Ever since you and Charli drifted away, she only felt one feeling.

Guilt.

Guilt was filling her heart and making it ache, flowing through her veins and infecting her every body part.

Guilt filled her lungs that were used to containing air with that sweet smell of your shampoo.

Gulit filled her soft hands that missed touching yours.

Guilt filled her light brown orbs that missed admiring you.

Guilt filled her legs that used to walk with you on your dates, that used to jokingly and actually chase you.

Guilt filled her plump lips that dreamed of touching yours, her lips that missed splitting apart into a gigantic smile whenever you were close to her.

Guilt filled her ears that missed hearing the soothing sound your voice, the sweetness in your joyful laugh, the care in your whispers.

The guilt was everywhere she was and anywhere she went, the guilt was inside her every organ, including her brain.

The guilt that was infecting her brain made her constantly think about you.

She thought about you all the time.

At first, she tried to push those thoughts away, she tried to move on.

Her tries were unsuccessful, and she eventually just gave up.

She was currently hanging out with her 'friends'.

Guess where? That same icecream shop where you introduced her to Madison.

She had ordered the same thing, sat in the same booth, and all that filled her mind was you.

She stayed quiet the whole time, only speaking in very short sentences. She didn't feel like she belonged there, she never felt like it before and she certainly did not feel like then.

Thinking about you once again, Charli got overwhelmed in her seat.

She had to get out.

"I'll be right back." She said, getting up and leaving to the bathroom.

The girls in the table didn't even say anything, and she wasn't really sure if they even listened to what she said, but that was at the bottom of her worries.

Charli was very clueless to what was going on, her mind that was so busy wouldn't notice simple things and signs that were right in front of her.

One thing she didn't notice is that you were also in that same icecream shop, sitting in a different booth and looking at her the entire time.

Why where you there? You needed to talk.

How did you know she was there? One of the girls posted about it online.

Was this possibly very creepy and could be precived as stalker-like? Yes.

But you didn't care.

You needed to talk to her, and this was pretty much your only chance.

She was practically avoiding you, it wasn't like you haven't tried to start this conversation many times before. But alas, a conversation is a two people task, and she wasn't cooperating.

You missed her so much, but you also convinced yourself that you were better off without her.
You convinced yourself that you didn't need her, that the only thing you were chasing was closure.